Author:  Phizzy Chan
Title:  Fire!

Disclaimer: Slayers belongs to Hajime Kanzaka, and I make no profit from this story

Inspired by a thread at the Slayers Hentai Forum, and Ameban's 'The Noise.'


The fire didn’t provide much light. Zelgadiss wasn’t sure if this was a blessing or a curse. Amelia wasn’t standing far away, but he wanted to see more of her face, her body.

Like he’d said that aloud, the princess moved a bit closer to him, allowing him a better view.

Amelia’s lips were a gorgeous shade of pink. A pink Zelgadiss had never quite seen before. It seemed to be its own color. ‘Amelia’s lips’ it could be called. He admired them for a moment, loving the contrast of her dark hair against her light skin. She licked her lips, eyes clouded and nearly closed.


Zelgadiss smirked. “Amelia, you’re up early. Or late.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” She tugged at her fancy dress. Her dress, revealing already, had been tugged down to reveal even more of her breasts. Did she know what she was even doing? Zelgadiss watched her every movements. He wondered fleetingly if the color of her nipples matched her lips.

She fumbled with her fingers, seemingly uncomfortable. Her eyes kept rising to meet his before dropping their gaze to her shoes. Zelgadiss had a feeling what she wanted, although he wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to hear her say the words, hear her stammering excuses, hear her beg for what she wanted.

He kept his eyes focused on her mouth. She kept licking her lips, pursing her mouth, teasing him--

“What’s bothering you, Amelia? Normally, you’re the first one asleep.”

She shrugged. “I just couldn’t fall asleep. I kept tossing and turning. So,” Amelia smiled cheerfully. “I decided to keep you company.”

“And the dress?”

Again, the princess shrugged. “I just wanted to wear it.”

“It’s not very safe for travel.”

“I’ll change later then.” Her smile turned nervous. “I…”She twisted the fabric in her hands. “I guess I thought it might make me look older.”

“Older? Why would--?”

Her face turned a pretty shade a pink. The dress really did make her look older, but not by much. Amelia quickly turned away from him shyly. Zelgadiss wasn’t sure what to say, or do, or if she was posing for him. He looked her over regardless, enjoying the way the rich silk clung to her.

She sat down delicately, resting on her knees and Zelgadiss gave a little grin over how short she was. Barely halfway to his chest. And she hadn’t grown much this past year. Her hair had gotten long however, nearly down to her shoulders, and Zelgadiss wondered if she was growing it out, or just hadn’t had the chance to cut it.

Amelia looked at him suddenly, her eyes penetrating and seeming to trace the lines of his face. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing much. Just wondering how someone got as short as you.”

Her fist lightly punched into his shoulder. Then she laughed. “It’s a talent.” Then, “It’s nice to see you make jokes for once.”

“Yes, usually the jokes on me.”

Amelia frowned, then looked at the fire.

She stretched, her neck was surprisingly long and white and he imagined giving it a little love bite, and reddening the skin. Her toes curled, and Zelgadiss licked his lips. Amelia ran a hand through her hair, playing with some of the strands, her elbow brushing against his arm.

“Are you tense, Zelgadiss?”

Oh, yes, he was very tense…

“Tense?” Did his voice rise, or was that just his imagination?

“Yeah. You just seem a bit uptight. Do you want me to give you a massage?” How could she say something like that so innocently? And what kind of massage?

Casually, to hide his discomfort, Zelgadiss grabbed a stick and poked it into the flickering flames. The symbolism only hit him afterwards. The princess didn’t appear to notice.

“I could rub your back?” Her voice was hopeful, though Zelgadiss couldn’t quite tell what for.

He tried to hide his discomfort. What ever would the little priestess say if she say the bump jutting from his pants.

“No, I um, think I’m okay.”

Her frown deepened, her mouth a pout. She readjusted her body, changing to a more comfortable sitting position. Amelia didn’t appear to notice or care about getting dirt on her dress.

“Really?” She slid closer to his. He wanted to warn her about her dress getting dirty, but then her knee brushed against his.

“You look like you could use a massage Mister Zelgadiss.”

The wire-haired man shrugged, noticing that Amelia was sliding closer to him.

“Are you tired at all?”

“Not right now. I could stay up all night.”

She smirked. “What do you do when you can’t fall asleep?”

“You mean, what do I do when I want to relax?”

“Yeah, do you read a book or something?” Her voice was quite teasing.

“Sometimes. Sometimes, I just,” Her shoulder brushed against his. “I just observe and notice things.”

“Like what? That doesn’t sound very relaxing to me.”

“Nature. Birds. Stars. You.” The last part came out more nonchalant than Zelgadiss expected.

“Really?” The words came out a purr, like she was a kitten.

“And I used to play the guitar.”

Amelia smiled, amused, and then touched his hand. “You’re right handed, right?”

“Yes, why?” She wasn’t going to comment on what he’d said?

“I was just wondering, which hand you used…to play guitar with.”

“The right to strum. The left to actually play it, of course.”

The dark haired girl touched his hand gently, running her fingers over his and down the palm.

“You have very graceful hands, Mister Zelgadiss.”

“You told me that before. When we were at the Famille town…”He stopped, not wanting to think any more about that place. Her hair brushed against his face, she was so close.

“Do you think I look older in this dress Zelgadiss? More…like a woman?”

Why had she changed the subject? Why was her hand still touching his so intimately? She entwined their fingers, and pulled back a little. Her small thumb traced shapes into his palm that he could feel even with his skin and through his worn glove.

He nodded, “Since when aren’t you a woman?”

“I’m female.” Her cheeks were red. “But, I just didn’t know whether you thought of me as a girl, or a woman. That’s why I wore this dress.”

“I know you’re a woman.” With his available hand, he threw another log into the fire. “Why else would a watch you if you weren’t a women?”


Abruptly, the young priestess stood up. Zelgadiss enjoyed the view of her legs, but he’d also enjoyed having her close to him. Her warm body next to his, legs brushing against each other, the smell of her sweet perfume.

“Zelgadiss...?” No mister. And it sounded just as sultry as it had before.

Was it a question? The chimera stood up, feeling like a puppet on strings. The words came out awkwardly.

“Do you need some help?”

She smiled. “I think you need some help to help to relax more, and since you enjoy watching me …”

The short girl trailed off. She ran a hand down the front of her dress, toying lightly with her nipples, tugging at the tips of her breast. Zelgadiss watched, numb as she moved one hand lower. Why was she doing this?

He had thought Amelia would want to wait until marriage, but if she wanted it before, and with him, what could he do? Turn her down, embarrass her, not have sex with this beautiful young woman who apparently wanted him?

She moved so slowly. Her left hand was touching her full breasts and he noticed he could see her nipples quite nicely through the expensive material. Amelia alternated between the mounts while he felt his cock stiffening. Her right hand was stroking herself, tracing circles in her flesh. With a surprised blink, then a smirk, the chimera began doubting that she was wearing any underwear. Amelia’s fingers were hindered from the protection of the cloth, but she was still able to sink her finger quite far into her warm, hot woman flesh. The thought that she was preparing herself for him, making herself wet for his cock to slide in… A part of him just wanted to watch her bring herself pleasure while touching himself. His penis felt hard enough to crack diamonds with and Zelgadiss wondered what it would look like nestled inside her.

Did she want that?

But, then she gave a little moan, whispering his name, begging for him to take her.

How could he deny her? And really, she was a princess, so this might be a royal order…

“Come here, little princess.”

He motioned with his index finger while Amelia gave him a little smile of her own and began moving closer to him. Zelgadiss grinned when the little princess grabbed his hand, bringing it close to her mouth and biting the digit gently.

Then, she dropped his hand; her fingers went to his cloak, playing with the thread hold it on. She continued pulled on his cloak, untying it before reaching for his belt. Zelgadiss felt his breathing becoming ragged as her hand casually rubbed against the growing bulge in his pants. The chimera reached forward, intent on pulled her bodice even further down to reveal--

“What?!”

“What?!”

Two accusing eyes of very different color met.

“What are you doing?”
“What are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

An accusing finger, a small Amelia-like happy face painted at the tip, was poised in his face. Coming from Lina, this was akin to having the Sword of Light against your throat. Only with the Sword of Light, it was probably a less painful death. Lina, he knew, was the torture type.

With a cringing sensation that made her want to run away like she’d just spotted a slug, Lina noticed him moving his lower body away from her. Dust from the surrounding desert blew into her eyes and she was grateful for the temporary blinding. She heard the sound of buckles, and she sincerely hoped that Zelgadiss was just preparing to dance around in his underpants. Or maybe his pants had caught fire and he was just fixing them. Both would have been more reassuring than what her imagination was shrieking.

His sword was in his right hand, and she didn’t know, didn’t want to know, where his left was. Her face turned a green that clashed interestingly with her hair. Zelgadiss noticed, and his own face turned as white as was possible. “I was just sitting here, doing the guard duty you were supposed to.”

‘Back off, red.” Was the message that she read in his eyes. Lina decided to do just that. After all, he probably didn’t, wasn’t…Damn her curiosity. Luna was right; it would be her downfall.

“Were you--?” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Zelgadiss felt hire ire rise as the finger continued to accuse.

“Nothing! Maybe. What--?”

“Really?”

“Lina, what the hell do you think I was doing?” His lower body remained turned from her.

The hand dropped, and the chimera could breathe again. The sorceress appeared embarrassed. “Never mind.”

“Right.” Zelgadiss retorted coolly, turning back to his unsheathed sword. “ Never mind.”

“You…?”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Lina crossed her arms and looked away.

“Nothing.” Zelgadiss agreed.

They both looked away, Lina looking even more disturbed than Zelgadiss. He waved her away. “I’ll get the rest of the night.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s fine.” The sorcerer shrugged. “I don’t need much sleep.”

She held her hands up and backed away. Really, Lina just didn’t want to know what he’d been doing. He probably wasn’t doing that anyway. Zelgadiss was too uptight and ugh… she wished she’d slept in and left Zel alone guarding them.

She looked away from Zelgadiss, deciding it was safer. Instead of looking at the fidgeting chimera, Lina stared at the too-big-fire. The fire he was supposed to look after was getting pretty high, and that was why she’d come barging out of the tent in the first place. Zelgadiss was such a worrier that he would keep it small and pansy-sized. Then Lina would stoke it properly. That was the way they usually did it, that was their routine, and it wasn’t often they changed it up. Although, a few times Zelgadiss would let the fire grow too large and Lina would have to help him put it out.

Lina wanted to say something, something about the fire at least, but…she was tired. And she’d been having the nicest dream involving a swordsman and a swimming pool full of fudge. The red haired sorceress was sure that she could probably slip back into that pool if she went back to bed right now. Zel could take care of things.

The red head slipped back into the tent without a word. Just before she fell asleep, she remembered that Gourry had guard duty next. Maybe he—then she passed out.

“Have you ever done this?” On her knees in front of him, Amelia looked quite adorable. Her hair was mussed from his fingers, lips swollen from his kisses.

“Have you?”

Amelia giggled. “Of course not.” Carefully, she planted a kiss on the bulge in the front of his pants. She shivered, hearing his moan. His hand cupped the back of her head, and Amelia blushed at the sensation of stone rubbing against her neck, running through her hair.

With unsteady fingers, she undid the buttons on his pants, tugging them down. Another giggle, more scared than before, over his black briefs, his arousal even more apparent through them. Then she wrapped her arms around him, cupping his buttocks, his genitals in her face. She pressed him closer, kissing him through the fabric as her hands squeezed his behind. Amelia gave a little chuckle when he began squirming and rubbing against her. She could probably make him beg for it, but of course she could never do that to her Mister Zelgadiss.

Still planting kisses along his penis, kissing it and sucking stones through his underwear, she slid her hands into fabric. One last squeeze, this time flesh on stone, and then she confidently pulled his underclothes down.

Exposed, Zelgadiss shivered. He wasn’t precisely cold, but it was chillier without his clothes. The chimera looked at the tents, knowing that their friends were steady sleepers and that this probably wouldn’t wake them up.

Her hand light cupped him, running her small fingers up and down the hard length. She lowered herself further, fidgeting and twitching her lips. Zelgadiss reached out to rest his hand on top of her head, messing it further, the feeling of her silky hair against his fingers wonderful. Her mouth that lightly began kissing his penis felt even better.

Amelia’s tongue traced the rocks along his length, stopping only to randomly kiss at certain pebbles. One of her hands messaged his testicles while the other ran down his thighs and traced the rocks on his skin through his pants.

She adjusted enough so that she was high enough for her head to be above the head of his penis. Teasingly, Amelia blew a warm breathe over him, her tongue sliding out to lick at the pebbles along the head of the penis. She, so slowly, lowered her head, swallowing the tip of his length. Zelgadiss groaned, applying more pressure to the princess’ head. Her eyes met his, and the chimera wondered if she had any idea how good this felt.

Her hair brushed against his thighs and his bare navel, tickling his skin.

“Amelia, you’re so—“

“Hey, Zelgadiss!” Came the cheerful cry. Zelgadiss flinched. This was hard enough without everyone constantly interrupting—

“Hello Gourry.” He managed to grit out. His hand gripped the sword hard enough to hear it strain under the pressure. Just barely, the chimera loosened his grip.

“Are you, um, okay? Done?”

“Done what?” Zelgadiss’ voice reached a higher octave. His pants were still undone, and there was no way he could fix then without Gourry knowing. How could he explain? ‘Well, I was…‘

No, nothing came to mind. There was no excuses that his mind could come up with. Thankfully, even with the fire, the moon was covered by clouds and there was too much darkness for Gourry to see Zel’s condition.

“Done with guard duty? Finished everything up?”

Finished what—‘No, just let it go Zelgadiss,’ he told himself. It was safer. And no way Gourry knew what he had been doing. It was Gourry for gods’ sake.

“Don’t you think that fire’s getting pretty big? Normally, it’s pretty small, even when you--”

“Nothing! What do you want Gourry?”

Was it Zelgadiss’ imagination, or did Gourry sound way too chipper this night? It was like the swordsman was taking delight in—the fire? He turned his head to look at the growing flames. The fire had grown to a small bonfire, much higher than it was supposed to be and was spreading outside the safe fire pit they would dig to keep things safe.

Usually when Gourry came out here, it was a decent sized fire sure, that was what happened when you left Lina in charge: you got lots of flames. But Zelgadiss normally kept it small and so it could be easily put out. Even when he was busy, it was kept small.

He noticed the unsheathed sword and remembered the condition of his own sword. “Oh! Do you have any stones to sharpen--?”

“No,” again, it came out a pained croak.

“Then, how were you sharpening your sword?”

“Uh…” Zelgadiss’ eyes flashed as he thought of an excuse. Still nothing.

“Aha!” The chimera flinched again. The tall blond slammed his fist into his open palm.

“I got it. Were you using your hand?” Gourry looked at the only visible stony hand. For the second time, all the blood drained from Zelgadiss’ face.

“Yes.” Zelgadiss said, far too late. He cleared his throat, understanding now what the older man was talking about. “It works like a sharpening stone.”

“Could you do mine? It could use a good fixing.”

Zelgadiss covered his face with his hand. He hardly had any time to himself, there was no way he could wonder off right now, and in this completely dry area it was perfectly safe for once—

“No, Gourry, I’m um, busy with my own sword.”

“But, yours looks fine. Even better than mine actually.” He looked at his sword guiltily. It had been some time since he’d used a regular sword and he wasn’t use to taking care of one again.

Gourry turned at the noise Zel was making, and cocked his head. Was he laughing? There was definitely a smirk on that blue face. Gourry scratched his head, confused.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Really, Gourry, you can go back to sleep.” His voice returned to normal, though slightly faster than normal. “I’m okay. I don’t need to really sleep.”

“You sure?” The swordsman asked, though he wanted to get back to that dream about Lina and that bowl of vanilla pudding. Already his mind began to turn back to it and his eyes glazed over. Zelgadiss shooed him away like he had Lina.


“It’s no problem.”

“Alright,” He gave his friend an absentminded wave good night.

Gourry unzipped the tent and stepped inside. Easily, he changed back into his pajamas. He crawled back into his warm sleeping back, snuggling with his jellyfish doll and his pillow. As his blond head hit the pillow, he wondered if he should have mentioned something to Amelia about Zelgadiss taking the guard duty for the night. And if Zelgadiss had really finished up, and how he started a fire when he masturbated. Then Lina was there holding a bowl of pudding and Gourry grinned in his sleep.


Zelgadiss groaned, feeling the tight, so tight flesh surrounding him. So warm, so…cozy and wet. He thrust wildly into Amelia, a part of him wanting to ask her if she’d ever ridden like this, but then her mouth was against his and Amelia just gave amazing kisses. Mindlessly, he clutched at her breasts, rolling the nipples between his fingers. He gave a little laugh at her breathless moan into his mouth. Then she was running her tongue over his teeth, even the fanged ones, and thrusting back against him and Zelgadiss couldn’t remember how to laugh.

Her mouth left his, her tongue leaving his lips wet. She began biting his chin and neck, playfully nibbling at the stone flesh and paying special attention to the pebbles along his skin. Her hands rested above his shoulders, hips rocking against his. He looked up, seeing her fingers twitch and bury themselves deep into the dirt. He bet both of them would need long baths to clean them of all the earth. Zelgadiss didn’t mind, especially if he and Amelia shared the bath. She would probably want a bubble bath, she was that type, and he wondered how much flesh bubbles could cover.


Amelia moaned his name again, drawing his attention back to the girl a top him and Zelgadiss wondered if she knew how beautiful she looked, hair a mess, sweaty, eyes cloudy, mouth open.

So tight…Gods, she was driving him crazy. Zelgadiss reached up, running his fingers through her hair before rolling over onto his side and dragging the princess with him.

“Mister Zelgadiss?”

“Shh.” he awkwardly lowered his head enough buried his head into her chest, the warm globes of flesh feeling incredible against his cheek. The chimera wrapped his arms around her in a hug. The small girl laughed and began running her delicate fingers through his wire hair. Not a single strand cut into her skin. He couldn’t feel it that well, but it was still a nice sensation. Amelia wrapped one of her legs around him, telling him in unspoken words to continue. Zelgadiss was still in her, still in that warmth, and he began thrusting against her, loving that she was even closer than before.

His Amelia, his warm, gods, his sweet little princess Amelia--


Amelia stretched, pleased that she had awoken on her own. Usually, one of her friends had to come into the tent and yell at her to wake her up. It wasn’t her fault; she was just a really deep sleeper. She wiggled her way out of the sleeping bag, moving pillows, stuffed animals, and blankets aside. Outside, the princess could hear a sword being sharpened and it was oddly comforting. One of her friends was outside, one was here and the other was asleep in the other tent. She felt quite safe at the moment, even if she had to share a tent with Lina.

The aforementioned sorceress, close enough to make Amelia concerned, was smiling and drooling in her sleep. The princess rolled her eyes. She was probably dreaming about that chocolate pool and Gourry messing it up, like she always did. It was routine. And the red head did it the same time every night. That was when Amelia knew when to get up and do her guard duty. It was like back at home, only instead of bells and that old grandfather clock and her handmaidens, Amelia was awakened to Lina ordering Gourry around in her sleep.

Amelia couldn’t count how many times she’d awoken to Lina yelling something about there being chocolate everywhere and Gourry needing to clean it up. Lina was even sadistic in her dreams; she would order poor Gourry to clean it up with his tongue, then grin.

Amelia waited, reaching for the zipper of the tent, before hearing “Now, you have to clean it all up.” She nodded and headed outside.

The smoke hit her first. It was truly a wonder she hadn’t smelled the burnt wood before leaving the tent.

She waved a hand in front of her face, futilely trying to clear the air. She coughed, not sure if she should cast a Levitation or a Ray Wing or something to try and see. Could she even cast a spell? Where was Zelgadiss?

Wait; there was some beige over there…

Zel was way too close to the raging inferno. He had to be literally two feet away from it. His back was to her so he didn’t notice the princess, he was just sitting there. But how could he have missed the forest fire right besides him. Why was he so close to it? How had the fire gotten so out of control? Was he okay?

Amelia stared at his huddled friend. She hadn’t seen Zel like this outside of large crowds in crowded towns. The blue man looked like he had a stomach ache. It was like he was really cold or something. Was he sick?

Maybe he was ill. But, just a second before, he’d been sharpening his sword. Amelia had just heard the noise before she’d stumbled out of the tent. Was he was doing that to avoid thinking about any pain he was experiencing? Zelgadiss was intense and focused, but to be so focused on a simple task as to forget a huge fire? Why didn’t he heal himself if he was sick, was it that bad?

Oh, dear Cepheid, the fire was still growing! Zelgadiss was about to catch—

“Mister Zelgadiss?!”

Zelgadiss didn’t respond like she’d expected. Amelia would have thought he’d jump up and put out the fire. Instead, the chimera twitched and sort of…arched his back a little.

She called out his name again, and again, no reply. Maybe he was severely injured? Amelia began casting an Aqua Create. The ball of water hit Zelgadiss’ back first. Finally, he seemed to understand what was happening.

He grabbed for his sword, which Amelia noticed he’s taken off and put to the side. Then princess had to focus on putting out the fire before Lina’s tent began to burn. A shriek, a curse, and then Lina were outside the tent and about to cast a Dragon Slave.

“No! Miss Lina!”

“Damnit, not—Uh...”

Amelia and Lina gave him a look. One was noticeably more suspicious and angry than the other.

“What happened?”
“Nothing!”

Lina brandished a burning log at him. “This is not ‘nothing’!”

“I must have fallen asleep.”

“But, how did the fire spread so quickly!? Did you fall into the fire and then run around spreading it?” Lina’s fangs were even more eerie and frightening surrounded by shadows and flames.

Zelgadiss cleared his throat. “Yes.”

All of them, even Amelia, knew he was lying.

“Zel.Gad.Iss” The sorceress’ hiss was not unlike a snake’s.

“Shouldn’t you be putting the fire out?”

“You caused it!”

“It’s your tent burning.”

Lina turned around fast enough to give herself whiplash. Holding her neck, she hurried over to the burning tent. Gourry finally stumbled out with a drowsy ‘what?’

Amelia turned away from the two and looked at Zelgadiss.
“Do you need me for something?”

Zelgadiss eyes widened and his head snapped around to look at the priestess.

“What?” He managed to croak out.


“Are you hurt? Do you need some help?”

It was too close to his fantasy for Zelgadiss to think correctly. He managed to shake his head. The chimera prayed he could slip away unnoticed to finish what he’d started, or at least Amelia wouldn’t notice the lump in his pants.

“I thought you were in pain. That’s why you weren’t paying attention—“

“I fell asleep. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled, automatically forgiving him. Really, it hadn’t been a big deal. They’d all fallen asleep during guard duty at one point. “I was about to go on guard duty anyway. You should get some sleep, Mister Zelgadiss.”

The chimera was wearing a blush, something Amelia didn’t quite understand. “I will. Thank you.” He gave her a small smile that made it Amelia’s turn to go red. They stood there, smiling at each other, until they heard Lina yell “Drop and roll, Gourry!”

Then the moment was gone and the two hurried to help put out the fire.











What a great inn. What a great room. What a great bed. Amelia flopped onto the mattress, the creaking of the bed and the sound of her moan made Lina look at the princess. She grinned at the sight of Amelia hugged a pillow and pulling the blankets and sheets around her in a cottony mess.

Speaking of which...Lina hit the bed with a less graceful leap, head whacking the headboard and making her wonder why that stupid piece of wood had been invented. She clutched at her aching skull, while Amelia buried her head into a pillow, trying to hide her giggles. The sorceress saw her shaking shoulders however, and the headboard went flying in the princess’ direction.

“Miss Lina!”

Both girls rubbed at their heads. Lina was grinning however.

“So, do you think we should head to dinner? Or to the baths?”

Amelia rubbed at her chin in an imitation of Zelgadiss. Lina did the same, albeit more mockingly. They exchanged grins.

“Dinner.”



Gourry slurped at his soup, ignoring Zelgadiss’ angry glare. He could feel the dark eyes digging into him. It was like having a pissed Lina there, only Zelgadiss didn’t seem to want to hit him. Not yet. He seemed content to just glare at you. He’d been doing this since that fire had started.

They all understood, up to a point. For this last week, Lina or Amelia or Gourry’d taken guard duty with Zelgadiss, to make sure any accidents hadn’t happened again. Zelgadiss had not been pleased, naturally he thought that they didn’t trust him and he was right. Lina had been so freaked out over waking up in a burning tent that she couldn’t sleep unless she was sure everything was okay outside.

Zelgadiss hadn’t cared at first, and that was the things that made this so strange. He had been fine with sharing guard duty, even happy to have someone to talk to. But only for the first night.

By the second night, Zel had been irritated at the other’s presence and not afraid to show it.

An entire week it had been. An entire week worth of agitated looks, glares, scowls, and Zelgadiss being moodier than before. One moment, he’d been okay. Maybe not laughing and cracking jokes, but still. Then he’d go off, and yell at someone. Poor Amelia was getting the brunt of his craziness too.

He would smile at her for a second, then scowl and be distant. Other times, Zelgadiss would just give her these intense looks and Gourry swore that the chimera would be flirting with her. He’d help her retrieve wood for the fire and water for the camp, whispering little comments, sit next to her and discuss magic. Then he would sit far away from her and maybe stare at her a little, but not say a word.

Lina would insult him occasionally, but she was either used to Zel’s mood swings, or was too frightened to say anything. Gourry figured it was both.

None of them had seen their friend like this.

Amelia didn’t know what to do either. The swordsman knew that she liked spending time with Zelgadiss, wasn’t so frightened of Zel’s anger, but even she had a limit. The princess was probably afraid she’d had something to do with it. She would get a bit upset, think of saying something to the chimera, then Zel would act friendly to her and she would forget that she’d been so freaked out.

They’d all decided to keep their space and let Zelgadiss work things out by himself. And the next time they camped out, they did, they’d let Zelgadiss do his time alone.

They were all a bit edgy, though as soon as they’d entered the town, the first that’d entered in over a week, they all relaxed. All the tension disappeared, and Zelgadiss had been okay. For a few hours. Now, it was meal time, and Zelgadiss was sending out waves of anxiety and was back to being moody again.

Gourry moved onto the meat, his knife and fork moving rapidly. The glare became more intense and he could feel Zelgadiss’ growing more pissed off. Couldn’t he eat in his room? No, he enjoyed eating/fighting with Lina. And he couldn’t leave the girls with Zelgadiss when he was this angry. That wouldn’t be right. So…he lowered his head, swallowed his meat, and tried to avoid Zel’s gaze.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Gourry stared at the mug. Then the person whose hand was clutched around it and whose other hand was tapping at the mug with a spoon. Their eyes met.

“You okay, Zel?”

Glowering. Gourry realized. He couldn’t recall ever using that word before now or where he’d learned it, but he was sure that’s what Zelgadiss was doing.

“I’m fine Gourry.”

Gourry doubted that. But what could he say? He didn’t know what was wrong, but Zelgadiss didn’t want to talk about it. The swordsman mentally shrugged.

Tap. Tap.

Then the girls came down.

Lina pushed Amelia not-so-playfully into a table, and then hurried to where her friends sat. A command aimed for the waitress was bellowed and quickly Amelia hurried to her seat. She had to sit by Zelgadiss, and Gourry almost felt bad for her. He wished her the best of luck.

She gave a warm smile at Zelgadiss, who apparently decided to drop whatever was upsetting him. He returned the princess’ smile with a smaller one of his own before giving her one of those intense looks while she was busy blushing and looking away.

Gourry nearly took a double take. Had Zelgadiss just moved his chair closer to the young girl?

The smaller man was still tapping his spoon. Although he was doing it weirdly. He would tap the rim of it, slide the utensil up and down the side of the mug a few times, stir the liquid and then continue the cycle. And every few seconds he’d stare at Amelia. Lina and Amelia didn’t seem to notice, and Gourry wanted to grab Lina and leave his two other friends alone. Amelia had feelings for Zelgadiss. And Zelgadiss returned those feelings. They needed some time alone. Lina wasn’t comfortable with that romance stuff anyway, so it was safer for everyone if he and Lina left.

Unfortunately, Lina was oblivious to all this and Gourry couldn’t just grab her and drag her, um, up to his room? No, no, definitely not that. Although…he glanced at the red headed sorceress and hid a grin behind his roast beef that Lina would have called perverted.

After dinner (and desert) he might just take Lina aside and say something casually about giving Zel and Amelia some alone time. Lina, he guessed, wouldn’t get it at first, then she would get embarrassed and not want to talk about it. But she would give them room.

Amelia and Lina happily stole Gourry’s food, giving feeble excuses (“It’s unjust to let your friends starve Mister Gourry.” “Shut up or I’ll take more, jellyfish.”) until their own arrived and it became a free for all instead of a plain execution. Gourry avenged his fallen food, and after about twenty plates, the gang was full. Zelgadiss, the swordsman noticed, ate next to nothing, kept tapping his mug and was still giving little stares at Amelia. His chair had also moved even closer to the priestess, although Amelia apparently hadn’t noticed.

The chimera was first to leave the table. The rest managed out a ‘good night’ as they waited for desert. Zelgadiss headed straight up the stairs, and Gourry decided to order extra dessert to make sure he had an excuse to linger downstairs. He and Zel were sharing a room and Gourry thought it would be safer to give some time alone. The first and last time he’d walked in unannounced he’d nearly gotten fireball-ed and Zel hadn’t been comfortable with him for some time.

He settled in his seat, and began arguing with Lina whether apple pie was better than cherry. Amelia added her own two cents about strawberry and Gourry knew he would be there for awhile.


“Damnit! Not again!” was the yell that resounded throughout the night. People, not already awakened by the fire that had engulfed the inn were definitely awakened by the yell. Lina cursed the chimera again, now certain that he was the cause of the flames. ‘Not again’…

She was going to rip every pebble off his body. The cover them with salt and lemon juice and reattach them.

The smell of burning wood was incredibly strong and she coughed helplessly for a few moments. They weren’t far from the blazing building and the wind seemed to be carrying it in their direction. Not far away was Amelia chanting water spells and generally yelling and confusing everyone. They just didn’t see what ‘justice’ and ‘peace’ had to do with the inn catching fire.

Gourry was also nearby, roasting marshmallows. Lina swore that she’d take every one from him. Sure, he had run back and forth into the burning inn, saving lives and being a hero. How could he as stupid as to risk his life like that? She saw the slight burns on his body, the charred armor and sword, and promised retribution. Lina had spent too much money on that stuff to allow something like this to go unpunished.

Zelgadiss nervously came from the other side of the building. He looked…weird. Uncomfortable, unable to meet anyone’s gaze, preoccupied, and slightly angry. Lina knew he was the culprit immediately. Which stone would she rip off first…?

As he saw her furious, sooty face, the chimera held his hands up. “I didn’t do it.” Something that was pretty suspicious in Lina’s book. How did he know she was going to accuse him like that? Knuckles popped and Zelgadiss warily took a step back.

“Mister Zelgadiss!” Amelia landed in front of him, panicked, and looking him over. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really? Because I could’ve sworn the fire came from your room…”

If looks could kill…Lina stared at him stubbornly. Amelia came to his rescue. “Mister Zelgadiss didn’t start the fire. Why would he? His stuff was burned too.”

“Maybe he’s a pyromaniac.” Lina shot back sharply.

“A what?”

“Someone who likes to set fires, Mister Gourry.”

“Oh.” He punched his left palm with his right fist. “Like Lina.” Gourry never had the chance to see the headlock Lina put on him. Zelgadiss and Amelia watched them for a while, deciding that their friends were just plain oddballs.

“You jellyfish.” Lina gritted out, enjoying his cries of pain and apology and the feel of his silky hair that had remained unscathed from the fire. She wanted to pull at it, and settled for a quick tug and made her friend wince.

“Why is it always the hair and face with you?” he mumbled, fixing his hair. Lina wanted to tell him to shut up and it wasn’t ‘always’ the face and hair, she enjoyed punching his stomach and kicking his shins too, but decided to spend that energy on Zel.

The turned on the chimera abruptly, her eyes burning brighter than the fire. She’d lost a lot in that fire. From what she could tell, Zelgadiss owed her an explanation and five thousand gold pieces. If he didn’t have it, she’d take it from his hide.

Amelia was quick to see the homicide in her friend’s eyes. She stepped in-between the two.

“Miss Lina. Miss Zelgadiss. No killing.”

“Alright.” They both backed down, and then turned their backs on each other. Lina gave Zel a parting glare, then left to check on Gourry. Zelgadiss returned the look with relish and went to help put out the inn. Amelia smiled, patted herself on the back, looked her friends over, then decided to help Zelgadiss.




“Mister Zelgadiss?”

The chimera snapped up, closing the book and grabbing blindly for his sword. He crawled out of the warm sleeping bag.

“Can I come in, Mister Zelgadiss?”

“Alright.” Amelia unzipped the tent and slipped inside. Zelgadiss immediately noticed the clinging nightgown. It was blue, with little flowers sewn into it in a random pattern. Very thin, very revealing, and very sexy. He’d thought he’d seen the few clothes she had when traveling, but this was new.

“Is something wrong?”

“I can’t sleep with Lina.” But you can sleep with me? But, she wasn’t about to…sleep with him.

“Can I stay with you?”

Several things went through the chimera’s head. He should send her away; tell her to go back to her tent.

“Sure.” He gave her a small smile. What was the worst that could happen? Zelgadiss watched as she made her way over to him. She didn’t have her sleeping bag, he noticed, nor a blanket or pillow. What exactly--?

She settled down besides him, getting comfortable on top of his sleeping bag. The dark-haired girl fixed the blankets, and moved Gourry’s bag further away. He swallowed audibly. Amelia gave him a mischievous little grin. Zelgadiss didn’t quite know how to take that.

Amelia sat besides him, one leg curled up to her chest, the other outstretched. Gods, those legs…He wondered what they’d feel like wrapped around his waist.

“So, where are you going to sleep? In Gourry’s sleeping bag?”

She rubbed her chin in an imitation of him, a twinkle in her eye. “No-o-o-o.” The little princess moved closer to him.

He could smell her perfume, the shampoo she used, even the lotion she rubbed onto her skin. “Where then?”

Amelia’s grin matched his own. “Guess?”

“Mm, I really don’t know.” He lowered his head, their hair brushing against each other. He could feel her breathe against his skin, his neck because of how they were positioned and the way she was looking up at him, and wondered if Amelia could feel the same. With a shy hand, she cupped his cheek and pulled him closer to her.

Her voice was teasing. “Really? No idea at all?”

“I have some ideas. They mostly involve you and a comfy log outside the tent however.”

The dark haired young woman laughed and leaned further into the chimera. “Aw, but I wanted to spend the night with you.”

His arm went around her shoulders. “I know.” Lightly, he lowered his head so he could speak directly into her ear. She shuddered as he pressed his lips against it. Her midnight hair grazed against his face. “Who said you weren’t?”

“But, you said—“

“I said you and a comfy log.” Lightly, Zelgadiss kissed her ear.

“I never said you’d be alone.”

Amelia twitched, hip rubbing against the man besides her. “Zelgadiss…,”she whispered.

“No mister?” He asked her, not expecting an answer and not getting one. Instead, the dark haired girl wrapped an arm around his neck and drew his closer. She touched his wire hair hesitantly, playing with some of the strands until Zelgadiss took her hand, kissed the palm, and let it fall. Amelia sounded a disappointed moan until he rested his head on her shoulder and continued kissing her.

The chimera moved down her neck, planting small kisses along her smooth skin until he reached her the joint between her shoulder and neck. She moaned and squirmed while Zel’s grip around her shoulders tightened. He nipped at the pale skin, biting her not-quite-painfully in the crook of her neck. Amelia cried out softly, trying not to make noise and alarm the others. He nuzzled her, running his lips over the reddened flesh before biting and sucking it.

Her hands twisted, unsure of what to do. Eventually, they settled on her friend’s legs, stroking his thighs. Then it was Zelgadiss’ turn to moan as she ran her fingers down the inside of his inner thigh. She massaged the stony flesh, stopping to trace the rocks dotting his skin.

He thrust his hips out, not sure if Amelia knew what he wanted. Her hands ran down both legs, squeezing his knee before moving back up. She, unsure of herself, placed a hand on the bulge jutting in the front of his pant. Zelgadiss gasped and kept moving his hips while the princess continued to touch him. Encourage by the chimera’ reaction, Amelia’s petting became surer and she wrapped her hand around his penis.

Zelgadiss growled her name, thrusting against her. She squeezed and moved her hand up and down his shaft slowly.

“So,” Amelia kissed what part of his face she could reach. “You want me on a log?”

His tongue traced complex shapes on her neck. Her hand moved faster in his lap. “You could say that. You, bent over a log…”

Amelia laughed and licked her lips. She kissed his forehead. “Am I tied up as well?”

Zelgadiss gave her a dark grin that she couldn’t see. “If you want. Maybe blindfolded too.”

“But then I couldn’t see you.”

“That’s the fun of it.” He scrapped his teeth against her skin, feeling her twitch, moving down her shoulder until he reached her arm. She was just barely covered by the blue nightgown, and Zelgadiss used his chin to move the thin strap away to reveal more of the flesh he wanted to taste. Her hand slowed down, going to undo the buttons.

He moved his hips up, trying to give Amelia better leverage so she could slide that incredible hand that was making him feel so wonderful inside his pants. Her other hand, the one that had been touching his legs, now joined the other and she tugged his pants down to mid-thigh. His dark briefs were strained from the pressure and Amelia began touching him again.

When she slid a warm hand inside his underwear, Zelgadiss moved his head from the girl’s shoulder and reached up with his remaining hand to cup Amelia’s cheek. He looked at her dark eyes, lighter and rounder than his own and lowered his face so his lips touched hers. It was a chaste kiss, and Amelia returned it gently. She pursed her lips, neither of them knowing exactly what to do. Tenderly, he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth enough to allow his tongue to trace Amelia’s upper lip.

She shuddered, and tentatively followed his example. Zelgadiss twitched when her tongue met his and he reached up to let his hand cup her head and his fingers to entwine with her silky hair. Her tongue entered his mouth, tracing his teeth and exploring the rest of his smooth mouth. His own tongue tried to flick at hers, but she pulled it back only to have Zel forcing his way into her warm mouth. She tasted nice, sweet, delicious like a fine wine he could get drunk off.

She sucked at his tongue, biting down on it teasingly, trying to wrap her tongue around his. Zelgadiss groaned and began kissing her with more intensity than before. He traced her front teeth, enjoying it when she played with his lower lip. The smooth hand in his underwear was wrapped around his cock, squeezing the stone flesh and moving it up and down as she had through his pants moments earlier.

Amelia broke the kiss first, gasping for air and red in the face. She removed her hands from Zelgadiss’ briefs, much to the chimera’s disappointment. Her eyes looked dazed, lips swollen and her clothes wrinkled and Zelgadiss suspected he looked about the same.

“When did you learn to do that?” He asked, playing with the straps that held her nightgown up. It would be so easy to slip them from her shoulders and tug the garment down.

Amelia shrugged and smiled crookedly. Zelgadiss smirked, and quickly flicked the strip of material down her shoulders. She blushed when his hands abruptly went to her chest, still covered by clothing. He squeezed the mounds, running his thumb over her nipples and pleasantly surprised how hard they already were. They felt even bigger than he had originally thought. But, watching her from the corner of his eyes while she bounced around as she did justice speeches and fought ‘bad guys’ was a hard way to make estimations.

The short girl squirmed around on the sleeping bag, her hand reaching down again to tug at the underwear Zelgadiss still wore. They soon joined the pants still awkwardly tugged down the slim man’s body.

Decided that fair was after all fair, Zelgadiss hastily reached down to the hem of the nightgown, and pulled it over Amelia’s head. The princess giggled and let out a gasp as the cool night air hit her naked body. As Zelgadiss had suspected, the only thing underneath the nightgown had been Amelia. He gave her a long look, noticing the way the coldness had brought color to her cheeks and how pink her nipples were.

Amelia responded then by pulling at his shirt and undoing his belt to toss to the side.

“Why were you completely dressed, Mister Zelgadiss?”

He finished yanking his shirt off and tossed it in the general direction of the corner of the tent. “I wasn’t. My cloak’s in the corner.”

Amelia rolled her eyes and began tracing the muscles in his chest with her fingers. “And the rest of your clothes? Why not pajamas?”

“It’s just easier this way. If there’s an emergency, I just have to get up.” He continued massaging her breasts.

Amelia arched her back and licked her lips again. “Does dressing take that much time?”

He shrugged. “Maybe it’s just me then.” He lowered his head to rest on her chest.

“Mmm, maybe I should get a chance to watch you, uh,” she sucked in her breathe as he suckled at her breast. “Watch you get dressed?”

“That would be nice.” He licked at her pale skin and moved to the other breast. “Can I watch and dress you too?”

Amelia giggled. “If you’re good...maybe…”

“Good at what princess?”

She giggled and lightly cupped him, one hand around the head of his purplish colored penis and the other resting on his testicles. Amelia squeezed him lightly, not entirely sure what to do with it. Her other hand jerked at his penis, seemingly pleased at the face he made and the moans that he escaped his control. Suddenly aware that the others might hear him, Zelgadiss bit his lip and prayed that his friends were asleep.

He shifted, pulling away from her chest and resting his weight on his knees. Amelia did the same, though her legs were further spread than his. Zelgadiss smirked, reaching forward to run a finger through the dark, short curls that covered her. Amelia bit her lip like the chimera had before, making a moan deep in the throat as Zelgadiss slid a finger into her warmth. She was wet, and tight and hot. Slick. So warm.

His penis, if possible, stiffened even further. The chimera slid another finger in, loving it when Amelia cried out and began thrusting against his digits. Her hand began touching him more urgently, quicker and harder.

“Mister Zelgadiss!?”

“You’re on fire!”

“Wha--?” Zelgadiss managed, drowsy and annoyed and somewhere in the back of his head, something screamed.

Amelia ran for the chimera, not confident that she would reach him on time, so, she cast an Aqua Create. It hit the chimera, making him shriek out of surprise and he reached out for his sword. There wasn’t any time to button up his pants. But at least the fire was out.

It was much stronger than usual from all the magic practice with her chimera friend. An irony that Zelgadiss would realize later.

The impact was the thing that really awoke him from the fantasy.

There were hardly any rocks in the clearing. The only stones in the area were the ones on Zelgadiss, and a few pebbles. There was no way, Zelgadiss would have said if asked, that anyone could have tripped on them. Anyone with common sense and logic would have said the same. Of course, Zelgadiss also would have said there was no way this situation could have gotten worse.

Amelia had a way of defying logic and common sense.

A single pebble that no one would have missed in light or darkness or cared about at any time was what made the situation even worse.

Her head smashed into his lap, and both of them cried out in pain. Amelia hadn’t hurt him, she’d missed his groin and had hit his knees, but Zelgadiss was still in pain, if of the emotional kind. Amelia cried out simply because she’d whacked her head on stone.

They stared at each other, both horrified and unable to look away. His pants were undone, penis exposed and still hard and dripping a clear fluid, soaking wet, and a fire was burning cheerfully around him.

Her eyes were still on his, and he wouldn’t have given anything if it remained that way. But, then her eyes moved to where his hands were situated.

Zelgadiss swore the world stopped revolving, the universe stopped expanding, and even Gourry and Lina stopped snoring.

Her blue eyes widened even further. He had no idea how much Amelia knew about sex, how long she’d been standing there, and how much of an idea she had about what he’s been doing. Something seemed to dawn in the princess’ mind, Zelgadiss could tell. Slowly, the princess licked her lips and Zelgadiss shuddered, remembering his fantasies and wondering if they were about to come true. But, Amelia just picked herself off the ground and dusted herself off, eyes never leaving his exposed genitals.

He wanted desperately to tuck himself away, but it was like Amelia’s gaze had frozen him. His fingers just could not move for the life of him. And, worst of all, he was still aroused and kept wondering what the short princess would do next and what she was thinking.

She certainly didn’t look horrified. Just embarrassed and curious.

It was like she’d never seen a male’s anatomy before. And, well, maybe she hadn’t. If she thought being a bad guy solely meant going around and wearing dark clothes, then Amelia had truly been sheltered most of her life.

“What’s that?” She pointed innocently to his penis, much to Zel’s mind numbing embarrassment. Did she really not know?

He was amazed he could even reply. “It’s…you do know the difference between men and woman, right? Right?”

“Yes,” Amelia turned a shade of even darker red “, I know about that, I’m a priestess and I’ve studied um, health books and stuff, but, why’s it doing that?”

“Doing what?” Again, astonished that he could be having this conversation, Zelgadiss looked down. He hadn’t wilted as much as he’d wanted to, and it was still leaking the whitish clear liquid, but it wasn’t doing anything really weird. It hadn’t, say, grown a face and began talking or begun sprouting flames.

“That…stuff. The, um, stuff. Are you okay? That looks like pus. Where you in pain? Is that why you were moaning?”

Zelgadiss’ mind whirled. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of this. ‘He had a disease, he was sick and um…’

“Here,” with a shaking hand and an uneasy, trying-to-be-helpful smile, Amelia reached forward to heal him. Already, there was a white glow resonating from her hands. The warmth immediately made Zelgadiss’ face turn an even dark purple and his penis became harder. He blinked a few times, trying to comprehend that it was really Amelia and she was about to touch him.

Her hand was only a few inches away, and had he really been upset a moment ago….it seemed so foolish and Amelia was really, truly going to touch him. Maybe he’d died in the fire and this was heaven…

“What are you two doing!?”

The two jumped up. Zelgadiss, not sure whether to bless or curse the gods, finally buttoned up his pants.

Amelia pulled away as though burned. Gourry stared at the two with wide eyes, embarrassed that they’d caught the two in such a compromising situation. Lina’s face was brighter than her hair, there was steam coming out of her ears, and she wasn’t sure whether to start throwing fireballs, or to run away into the forest screaming.

Anything to get away from this scene, this moment.

Gourry grabbed her shoulder, pulling the red head away and giving the pair a small, chagrined smile.

“Sorry, you guys. Come on Lina…” He began leading her back into his tent.

“Gourry!?” Lina’s eyes nearly popped out of her skull once she realized that they were headed for Gourry’s tent.

“They need a moment alone, and um, might need the other tent.” Gourry whispered loud enough so that even Zelgadiss and Amelia could hear. Zelgadiss was fairly certain his heart stopped then and probably wouldn’t beat again until morning.

“What!?”

“Yeah, so let’s just give them some privacy. You can share the tent with me, like old times.” He smiled nostalgically. No one could manage a word.

An elbow hit his stomach.

“You jellyfish! It—you…it wasn’t like that! We only had the one tent, and another one was too much of a hassle!”

“Oh, is that why we had to share that sleeping bag too?”

“It…you…It was cold!” Lina realized how awful an excuse this was only after it was uttered.

She looked desperately at the princess and the chimera. “We would have frozen otherwise!”

Gourry shrugged. What was the big deal? If they, especially a cold Lina, wanted to cuddle, then what was the problem?

Lina, not knowing what else to do, decided to follow Gourry’s lead. She looked away from the two other magic-users.

Encouraged, Gourry continued, “Come one, let’s go inside. There are still a couple of hours before daylight I think.”

With horror, the rest of the group realized this was true.

There was no eye contact in the camp, and they all decided they would remain that way, until…well, they’d know when it finally happened.

“And don’t you do anything funny to my sleeping bag!” Lina darted inside the tent she shared with Amelia and came out carrying the bag under her arm. It dragged in the dirt, but neither Amelia nor Zelgadiss could say anything. Lina gave them a warning glare, then with surprising dignity, dragged herself and her bag into the tent. Gourry gave them another small smile that they didn’t know what to do with, and zipped the tent back up.


“What were you doing out here,” Was the question Zelgadiss managed to muster after staring at the tent with Amelia for five minutes. The snores didn’t occur, and with a cold feeling in the center of his stomach, Zelgadiss wondered suddenly what his friends were doing in that tent. Possibly on his sleeping bag.

He had no way of knowing that Lina and Gourry were crouched inside their tent, wondering the same about him and Amelia.

“I…wanted to spend some time with you. I switched guard duty with Lina for tonight.”

Zelgadiss nodded, like he understood. ‘Spend time with’? He was afraid to look at her. And they would have to share a sleeping (bag, damnit, a tent. A tent!) tent tonight.

Amelia was afraid to make eye contact as well. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure what had happened, but she knew it involved romance of some sort. Gourry apparently thought they’d been…doing stuff.

“Wow, I can’t believe Mister Gourry thought we were a couple.” They both thought about that for a second.

“Yeah. Funny considering how he and Lina are apparently sharing a sleeping bag.”

“Yeah.” Amelia laughed. She was suddenly in a better mood, knowing her favorite couple was apparently getting closer to admitting their feelings.

“Well, Gourry isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.”

“That’s not nice Mister Zelgadiss.” She frowned, but didn’t look at him.

“Still,” Amelia rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “I can’t believe he thought we were doing anything more than me healing you.”

“…yeah. I think I’m okay now.”

“Alright. If you say so.”

“Amelia?”

“Yes, Mister Zelgadiss?”

“Let’s never talk about this again.”

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