Am I evil?

        She walked across the old warped floors of the ancient inn stealthily to avoid unnecessary attention. She came to her door and forced it open, the hinges were well rusted and it creaked loudly when it suddenly widened. For a moment she pondered whether it would have been easier to knock the door down and after coming to the conclusion that it would have been easier, sighed and closed the door behind her with and audible grunt. The moonlight streamed in between the curtains in her room.  This left a pool of light on the bed in contrast to the rest of the room, which was left in darkness.

        Toward the bed she went, hoping that sleep would offer some relief for the time being. To her misery, relief was not forthcoming. For who knows how long she gazed wide eyed at the ceiling. She had long since heard each and every one of her friends go into their rooms and presumably fall asleep, and now the sounds form the tavern below were all but gone with just and occasional sound to indicate that someone might possibly still be there. Without cause she felt the need to gaze around the room at her surroundings. The moonlight created shadows out of everything, the stuff that children’s nightmares were made of. One shadow stood out to Lina, it bore a strong resemblance to a demon that she had seen once.

        "Evil, pure evil...." Lina sighed to herself, she knew it too well. There was nothing good that came from the forces of darkness. Sure, everyday tens of hundreds of people used the black arts to summon evil from the monsters that haunted the night but much fewer knew what they were doing actually doing. How it called evil into existence, they don’t call it the black arts for nothing Lina thought with a dark chuckle. No one in her age and time knew what she knew about them however. Her magic’s were the most powerful, more powerful then any other human. Oh sure there was the off hand chance that some lucky mage could kill her but there’s always a chance for anything.

        She repeated herself aloud once again, "Evil" then again, this time slower, dissecting the word "Eeee..vvvv....illl." "Am I evil?" she whispered gently, her face went white from the thought. She had been called that so many times but never really thought about it. Only in the back of her mind would she admit to the kind of sadistic pleasure she got from ‘punishing’ bandits............

        Now we see Lina and company standing outside of a stereotypical bandit hideout. It's around noon, the sun is almost at its zenith. Lina dramatically spins around to face her friends. "I’m going this one alone, its just a basic bandit clean out, no problems." Lina finished her statement by flashing one of her confident smiles. "Be that as it may, I think that it would be safer if we all went in together." Zelgadiss, always the thinking man didn’t think that Lina jumping the gun and attacking all by herself would be a good idea. "Miss Lina you can do it!" Amelia was as enthusiastic as ever egging Lina on in spite of the danger. "And what do you have to say Gourry?" Lina asked wishing to out vote Zelgadis and go it alone regardless. Gourry scratched his head "I guess you can go on your own if you really want, it’s just a couple bandits." "Thanks Gourry I owe you one, now everyone just wait here and I’ll be right back." With that Lina took off toward the fortress, any further protest was just not heard by Lina as she sprinted toward the ornate double doors.

        We see Lina running full tilt toward the doors and at about fifty feet from them they detonate from an expertly thrown fireball. She shivers slightly, a almost unnoticed falter in her step. She dashes though the burning hole that used to be a door and takes a quick look around. Bandits are everywhere, they had underestimated the size of the stronghold.  Her grin grew to a smile, ~Now for some real fun!~  And so the slaughter began, however Lina did not use the precision of an expert sorcerer that she was. Instead she drew her sword and started hacking and blowing everything else up. A look of madness steadily replaced the normal Lina Inverse in the eyes. Looking back on it she realized that for a short time there she was a demon. She lived for another’s pain with each of their tortured screams she was pushed further and further into the plane of ecstasy. Minuets later she was still going at it, most of the fort was in ruins and in flames and she had worked her way into the main chamber. The huge hall echoing with screams as she started to bring the fight to a close. From head to toe she was covered in blood, it stained her. It was caked especially over her hands and face having dried just to be splattered with a new coat making it wonderfully thick and black. Then the laughing started, lightly at first but soon it was going all the way, the laugh of a mad woman. The cackling, it was terrible, the remaining men began to think this person was no less then death itself but instead of taking them to heaven it was taking them straight to hell.

        Lina reached an invisible block, her emotions had ceased to raise and there she stayed on the plateau. That’s when it struck her, there were so few bandits left it wasn’t the frenzied killing it started as, now she had time to be creative. The next man she came to was running and the fact that he was running from her made it all the more exciting. She took the blade of the sword and ran it thought his back he was screaming but that only drove Lina further toward her unattainable goal. Her body went foreword with the blade and she was pressing against the dying man’s back. Then, in her psychosis she bit him, just a little at first, not even drawing blood but the second bite did much more damage tearing a portion of the man’s jugular out. She shook it out of her teeth and screamed like a dying woman, tears were running down her face, her body shaking, and there was blood, oh god there was blood.....she could never forget the blood...never......it just never seemed to wipe off.......never.....the blood........she swore she would never forget.........

        With that she hopped out of her bed and put on her cape, boots, and her sword, then without looking back she went to the window and jumped. It wasn’t a far drop just from the second story and she was used to this sort of thing she just rolled with the impact and voila no hurt, but she was tempted to see how it would feel if she didn't roll with it, she kind of wondered what kind of pain it would be, just before she hit she snapped out of it and rolled with it, just barely. She started walking away from the town, into the darkness around it, soon the walk turned into a jog and finally an all out run. She was going to something, she didn’t know what yet but she would know it when she seen it.

        The full moon barely penetrated the canopy over the forest. This only left the dimmest of light to see by, but Lina hurried onward. Her breath was coming in quick gasps but she did not slow from her frightfully fast pace. She ran though brambles that stung and cut her, branches snapped against her face, and she slipped and fell in the mud by a creek but none of this stopped her, it hardly even slowed her down. Finally in the distance she could make out a glimmer of light, and as she approached it she slowed down.  She came to a stop at the edge of a clearing. Slowly her eyes adjusted more and she starred for a second. A predatory smile came to her lips that would have unsettled the most stout of men before she licked her lips and pronounced a single word, "Bandits."

        She slowly approached the door. When she got to it, a small group of guards blocked her way. They were in the process of questioning her motives for being here when she took out her sword and cut them down. The movements were hurried and barbarous but the quality of her steel ensured clean cuts all around. The first of her strikes cut clean through one mans jaw and then quickly pulled down and imbedded itself into another’s stomach, spilling his intestines. Just as the upper half of the first man’s head started to plummet toward the ground she brought her sword around in a wide arc dismembering another’s arm in the process. A mist of blood began to fog the air and the look of bloodthirstiness began to renew in Lina’s eyes. She brought the sword high above her head and turned toward the last frightened man cowering on the ground and in one massive blow tore the man asunder just as her previous victims bodies began to fall to the ground.

        She took a second to admire her handy work and lick her gloves clean, already her hair was matted to her back with mud and  blood, splatters of it were also all over her face and chest. She wiped the rest of the blood off her gloves on her shirt leaving burgundy red criss crossing stains adding to the macabre outfit. Already she looked as if she had slain several dozen people instead of just a few. She walked up to the gate and put her hand to it. Locked. She expected no less. After a moments consideration she simply cast a levitation spell and flew up and over the wall.

        Upon clearing the wall she realized that there was no one to be found. She observed a huge dome in the middle of the walled fortress and immediately made a bee line for it. She reached the solid double doors and blew them apart. She watched the stunned bandits inside with a hint of amusement. They had no idea what was going to happen, no idea at all. She walked to the middle of the gathering and said in a almost hysterical tone "I'm Lina Inverse, nice to meet you all!" When questioned on what she wanted, her response was to take her sword and puncture the infidel’s lung, causing him to drop to his knees until he drowned in his own blood which did not take long at all. His choking screams were music to Lina’s ears and that’s when all hell broke loose.

        For the next several hours Lina sang blood and danced death. Her every movement was like a pestilence to the living. All in her way were killed so mercilessly that her enemies could not even recognize the creature that they were fighting as once being human. She spun in circles, sword extended to the maximum acting as some kind of human blender. Occasionally a foe would catch a glimpse of the insane look in her eyes and they would get the hint and run for the hills screaming. Her sword swings were erratic and unpredictable but completely deadly none the less. Finally on one of the up swings, possibly from fatigue, possibly from the blood making the handle slick, or possibly from a combination of both her sword flew free of her grasp and went out of sight into the remaining bandits.

        The small band of bandits backed up for a second, this little girl was a heartless murderer but now her weapon was lost and she didn’t have a chance. She stood there for a second breathing heavily, her cape clung around her body like a wet blanket, it was slowing her down so without a second thought she removed her shoulder guards and with them the cape fell as well. The blood had soaked though the cape as well leaving no trace that the part of her body the cape had covered, had ever been covered. She flicked a small piece of entrails from her face and took a deep breath, inside a thought crossed her mind, ~...maybe if they capture me, they'll torture me for information... Nahhh...~  That hopeful thought squashed she decided to renew her onslaught.

        With her hands free she was now able to cast her magic unhindered. The first five people she saw were burned alive. They screamed, oh gods how she had quickly learned to enjoy their screams, but they were cut short as they died an all to quick death for her liking. Their smoldering bodies caused the room to reek of burned flesh and stung the nostrils of the men, but they kept fighting on, maybe to protect their treasure, but most likely because they did not think the world could stand such an evil taint. She took delight in impaling them with icicle lances and watching them die blood curdling deaths, shooting them with flare arrows and fire balls, the room was awash with evil magic.

        The ground was scorched, littered with burning bodies, a colossal accumulation of them ablaze in front of the fortress. A huge pillar of inky smoke lead up to a noxious cloud gathering above the fortification. In areas blood flowed down the expansive stone steps like water, dismembered limbs randomly scattered throughout. The walls around and the towers that reached into the sky were gone, mere piles of rubble on the ground, lain to waste by the destructive force of Lina. The death in this place would have been almost too much for any person to stand, just being close you could feel the immense weight of what just happened pressing down.

        Lina had killed all but a few of the bandits, running though what remains of the halls and corridors she has no luck in finding new prey. Everyone was dead.  Finally just as she thought she was going to die from the madness that consumed her, she tripped and fell. It hurt, she barreled into a wall, possibly breaking her arm, and after the initial shock she found she liked it. She liked the pain, and she liked it a lot. She slid with her back to the wall all the way to the ground until she was in a sitting position. Her entire body ached, her flesh worn raw in places from the blood soaked clothing. After a moments consideration and a brief hesitation she began to strip down to her bare essentials. The clothes made wet noises as the they tried to cling to her body while she removed them. She dropped them into a pile next to her and if there hadn’t been a pool of blood already there, there would have been now. She now sat with only her undergarments on. What were once a pristine white were now stained a delightful sanguine shade.

        She looked like a mess, her hair was saturated with blood and clung to her back and chest, hiding most of her face in the process. Her skin had a spattering of blood all over which had soaked though her clothes and clung to her. Her body was littered with tiny and semi deep cuts mostly throughout her arms but they were elsewhere too. Finally after what seemed like forever her heavy breathing slowed and she sat there in silence. The sun was beginning to rise, bringing an end to the torturous night of murder, its purifying light enveloping Lina through the ceiling which had long since been blown off. She started to rise, maybe now was a good time to head home but she was reminded of her injuries as her tiny body was wracked by a strange mixture of voluptuousness and paroxysm.

        The shock of the overwhelming emotions she was receiving caused her to start breathing heavy again. Her eyes blazed with newly rekindled desire as she contemplated a discarded dagger laying near by. She gingerly reached out and picked it up by the handle. She held it arms length as she inspected it, it wasn’t that long, the blade being only about five inches ending in a sharp point. The handle was plain wood, possibly stained but most likely just blackened from repeated use and wear. She grasped it fully in her hand admiring the slightly dull but overall shiny blade.

        She flipped the dagger around in her hand so the she was holding it blade downward. She brought it to her arm all the while trying to control her quaking hand as it shivered. She knew what she was going to do and was working herself up for it, finally she slid the point of the knife lightly across her arm, instantly she was assaulted by a pleasurable sensation. She did it again, this time with a little more force, actually drawing blood. The sensation was amplified, she was getting pleasure from the pain and the fact that she was doing this to herself and that was turning her on even more.

        If an outside observer were to have witnessed this they would have thought that the world had turned itself upside down. Here was a good-looking girl in the prime of her life, defacing herself, and not just that, she was giggling and cooing with pleasure at every touch of the knife to her skin. She would cry out with pleasure not pain, all the while inflicting more and more ‘torture’ upon herself. Blood was readily flowing down her body in streams, none of the wounds were really bad but as a whole it made her seem as though she had just been though a car accident.

        Her emotions were running higher and higher, her breathing coming in ragged struggling gasps. Finally as if by some miracle she reached the pentacle of her excitedness and she collapsed into a heap against the cold floor of the fortress, a hellish scream escaping her lips as she drove the dagger deeply into her arm, emerging from the other side. It was several hours before she woke again. Her memories were fuzzy at first but they could not be denied as her eyes began to focus on the horrendous carnage of the area around her. Her mind was numb, she did this? She could scarcely believe it, but here was the proof, the evidence that unequivocally pointed to her. She somehow managed to wonder back to her inn dazed and confused. She had taken the time to wash most of the blood from her clothes in a stream she passed by and took the time to cast a healing spell on her arm. But it would have been impossible to hide what had happened the night before totally. Her clothes were torn and ragged and the blood stains were still evident. Most of the tiny cuts she had sustained in battle still adorned her body as well as most of the not so minor one’s she did to herself.

        Lina stumbled through the inn door and into the room that must have been the lobby. Her friends were there waiting, well some of them, everyone else must be out looking for her. Amelia ran to Lina swamping her with questions from the moment she saw her. Lina just walked past her, the blank look still dominating her features as she walked to her room. It was the same as she left it the night before, even the window was still open. She stripped down into her underwear and hung a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door before locking it and crawling into bed.

        Her entire day was slept away, only interrupted by the occasional opening of the door to see if she was still there. She promised explanations to the group the next morning, she lied. Awakening was a painfully long process the next day, with every second she drew closer to awareness more and more haunting memories came back to her. Finally when she was totally awake Lina was an emotional wreck. It took nearly an hour for her to get a grip on herself and prepare herself mentally for the meeting with the rest of the group.

        She trudged down the stairs of the inn feeling not a bit refreshed from the hours and hours of sleep she just had. When she reached the foot of the stairs everyone was watching her, they wanted explanations. Explanations that she was not ready to give. So she lied, she never liked lying to her friends but the memories were to fresh to go digging up already. She wasn’t sure if they bought it, the story that she made up about her somehow hearing about a possible lead on another Claire Bible manuscript, how the bandit gangs attacked her and she barely escaped with her life. Hopefully one day she might tell them more, for now this secret would only serve to drive them apart. And right now she needed friends more then ever.

        The next couple days blurred by. It was as if Lina was seeing everything from third person. Everything she said was on reflex and she had to make a conscious effort in order to do what she wanted. Her mind was of course elsewhere, back on that night of bloodshed. She just couldn’t get her mind off it. The pain the suffering, it was almost too much for Lina. From time to time lately she was haunted by terrible visions and they were all to real for comfort.

        Within minutes of walking down to the breakfast table and sitting Lina began to day dream. Her eyes took a glazed look as her mind went far away, she was still eating, slowly albeit and mostly out of habit. Everything began to fade around her until suddenly she was seeing herself with a satisfied look on her face standing confidently over a fallen body. Upon closer inspection and to her horror she saw that the body was that of Amelia and that Amelia’s blood was on her hands. Amelia’s neck was bent at an unnatural angle with a portion of the lower half poking its way out of her skin. Her heart sank but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She watched in morbid fascination as her mirror counterpart in the vision kicked and bludgeoned the fallen form of Amelia. Then she saw Amelia’s eyes, they spoke volumes of pain and suffering, Lina was definitely starting to feel sick by now but the show would not stop. She was shocked out of her reverie by someone placing a hand on her shoulder.

        She yelped in fright and surprise to the fact that she was still daydreaming, her counterpart gave no outward sign of hearing anything. She took a few steps foreword and whirled around to see who was there. But contrary to what she expected, it wasn’t yet another petrifying evil segment of her imagination but something that would be considered, at least by her standers normal. It was Xelloss, he stood as he usually did, staff in hand wearing the same ever-present smile he always had. "Xelloss!" she gasped, she looked him up and down appraisingly wondering what this vision would bring, it was definitely not what she expected.

        Xelloss’ smile widened a little just as he was about to begin to speak "My, my, my Lina this certainly isn’t what I expected to see when I entered one of your day dreams..." he said gesturing to what was going on behind her. She hazarded a look over her left shoulder at the gore, she was once again reminded of how violent she could be as she watched her other self maul Amelia’s life less body for a time before turning back to Xelloss. "I didn’t really expect this either...." she trailed off shaking the memory of what she just bore whiteness to out of her head. "Oh don’t worry about it Lina, I think about these kind of things all the time, they’re quite pleasant really." It wasn’t the way he said those words that frightened Lina but the way his smile seemed to grow with each word.

        "But you forget Xelloss, I’m not a monster like you." she said in an all knowing manner. "I do keep forgetting that.......or maybe you are." Xelloss’ smile widened even more as Lina started to get angry, "And just what do you mean by that!?" Xelloss' response was to once again turn toward Lina, he extended his pointer finger and began to wave it in the air "Now that is a secret." And with that said he teleported away.

        Suddenly her consciousness returned to the material world. She was still sitting at the breakfast table and the only difference was that most of the food was gone. Just like the day prior she did not feel like eating but she forced herself to, if just to keep up appearances. As she nibbled on some bread she speculatively glanced toward Xelloss who was sitting there sipping tea. He somehow realized that she was looking at him and he did something that she hadn’t seen in a while, he opened his eyes. And smiled a big strangely evil smile. "Welcome back Lina." he started drinking his tea again without a care in the world leaving Lina puzzled and frightened. ~He knows, he knows what's going though my head, he knows what I am...~  Lina shuddered and resumed eating her toast.

        That was the first of several times that Xelloss entered her mind. Prior to the experience it had never happened, now she was lucky if a day went by and it seemed his mental visits were getting more and more frequent. He was around more too, gone were the days when he would leave unpredictably, now it was as if he never left and she wasn’t all that sure he did. He haunted her dreams and plagued her days, ~..what does he want?~  She wondered in frustration, ~What in the nine hells does he want!?~

        "Sore wa himitsu desu." He popped up over her shoulder scaring the hell out of her in the process. He was listing in on her thoughts, he’d been doing that much more then she was comfortable with lately. After taking a couple seconds to compose herself she felt confident to talk again. "Xelloss what the hell do you think your doing reading my mind again!?" He took on an obviously false but none the less hurt expression. "Why Lina it saddens me that you would think such a thing of me, I’m just checking up on the mental health of our favorite sorceress." What should have been finished with a frown was finished with a smile by Xelloss, quickly defeating the sympathetic undertones of the message. "Then you should know that I’m just fine!"  She finished the last statement with more heat then she originally intended but maybe it would get her point across.

        "Its no use lying to me Lina, I know what you know and you know that your not fine." He was right, she definitely wasn’t feeling right, the cravings for violence and blood shed were somewhat muted but coming back more then ever. She wasn’t sure how, but she could tell she was going to want to kill again. Soon her facade she had spent days building was crumbling before her eyes. The emotionless eyes she had tried so hard to keep up were giving way to tears. She had lost, lost her hard won control to the only person she didn’t want to lose it to. The crying session was brief but intense, but Xelloss just stood idly by watching the whole affair with a sense of amusement. Ultimately she found herself able to talk again, she looked up at Xelloss from her new position crouched on the floor, "Why Xelloss, why do you keep bringing this up...(sob)....why cant you just let me forget!?"  She let her eyes begin to water once again at the conclusion of her question causing Xelloss’ body to become blurred to her. She wasn’t sure what he was doing but it involved him raising his staff, she tried to blink back the tears to get a better impression of what was happening "Hush Lina it will all be over soon..." but she was too late and with that last little phrase her world went black........

/\/|+++++++++++<~~~~>++++++++++++|\/\

            Colors swirled, chaotic images twisted around her and a strange burning metal smell assaulted her. But before she could analyze what was happening she felt herself becoming lost again in a way she could not explain. The cold she felt naked then hot and all over again. Light came into view then darkness, suddenly she felt her previous momentum kick in and all at once she was somewhere again. Her momentum was now directed upward and as she materialized alone.  She was carried a full nine feet off the ground and into the air before she slammed into the ceiling. Her momentum gone, and momentarily dazed she could only start falling down again, hard.

            Her landing was partially dampened by her legs which acted as shock absorbers, taking most of the brunt of her fall, but giving out in the end, one of them inverting painfully backwards, putting her on her butt. For a moment she stayed still, moving hurt badly at first, ~...there goes my tail bone..~ However Lina was always one to make a quick recovery.  She looked around, it wasn’t a room at all, more of an off shoot of a cave. The walls reflected that. The tunnel, lit by a single light spell that hung almost directly above her, was somewhat circular, a diameter of twenty feet or so. Off to her right the tunnel ended with a craggy stone wall but to her left it took off into the darkness for who knew how far. Shakily she rolled herself onto the balls of her feet.  She winced as they touched down on the ground and immediately rolled back, tilting her head she grabbed one of her feet and pulled it upward to inspect the bottom and cursed.  It was covered with a multitude of puncture wounds from her landing on the craggy ground.  Now knowing the cause of her pain but nont the less resigned to her course of action she once again got on her feet and and desperately pushed with her mangled knees to get upright.

            The cave was warm, the floor hot against the torn skin on her soles. Tentatively she took a whiff of the air confirming her suspicions about volcanic activity. “A lava tube...” Seeing no immediate activity she spoke up, her anger rising with every work, “Xelloss! I know you’re in here, so stop hiding!” Ever so casually Xelloss walked out of the shadows from further down the tunnel and into her vision. “Well Lina, I was just waiting for you to invite me out, I figured you needed your privacy until you got decent...” 

            “What the hell am I going to do Xelloss, cover up with a piece of pumice!” As Xelloss approached his smile got wider as he considered Lina’s joke. “Well, you do have a point...” Xelloss made a motion with his cane and in a gout of flame that sputtered out as quickly as it was born, a cape now rested. “There you go Lina, you can cover up with that.” Lina kicked away the cape, scraping her toes painfully into the lava rock as she did, “You think I care about being decent at a time like this Xelloss!” Slowly tears formed in the corner of her eyes before she continued, “I just wanna die...” Her voice trailed off with a terrible sob but she forced a smile which quirked down at the ends where tears were now collecting.

            “Oh Lina, I bet a hug would make you feel better, do you want a hug?” Xelloss took a step toward  Lina, an evil smile on his face, opening his arms as she took a step back in fear. Her right leg gave out at the knee from the change in posture and gave a sickening pop, dislocating to the side. She let out a cry and fell painfully onto her soft unprotected rear, grinding agonizingly into the rock, drawing blood over the jagged stone with innumerable tiny cuts. She held up her hands to ward off Xelloss who had stopped moving. “Just get the fuck away Xelloss, leave!” Xelloss waved his finger with a superior air, “You’re not being very nice today.... and after all the fun we had last night.”

            Lina sat back barely and pulled her knees up, the right one popping no less then three times on the way causing Lina to grimace as it renewed its connection with its socket over and over. She put her arms around them protectively and looked up at Xelloss. They locked their gazes for a moment, “Kill me...” Xelloss smiled in response, “Awww... Lina, you know I won't do that...” Her pupils shrunk a bit and she bit her lip then responded determined, “Then I’ll kill myself... I’ll channel a burst flare through myself...” Xelloss shook his head slowly back and fourth, “Lina, we both know that if you really wanted to do that you would have already.” She sniffled a little in response and brought up her hand to wipe her eyes. “So what is it Xelloss... why... all this.... are you trying to get me to loose control of a giga slave... like Phibrizo...?”

            Xelloss actually laughed at that one, a real laugh and Lina couldn’t have been much more shocked. He shook his head with a big smile on his face, “That’s actually the furthest thing from my mind.... Actually... it would have probably worked quite well judging from how you’re acting right now...” Lina’s anger started to come back, “Then what is it? Why are you putting me though this!” Xelloss looked back down at Lina, her medium breasts heaving from the emotional effort she was putting into her words. “Lina, you know I didn’t do anything to you, the first couple times you went into one of your ‘episodes’ you didn’t even know me. That time the other day with the bandits, I may have been there to watch, but did I make you sneak out that window to kill?”

            Lina looked down ashamed. Her tears coming back now, “..then what is it Xelloss..?” Xelloss’ voice picked up a serious tone, “You really don’t know Lina... I can see it plain as day...” Lina looked back up at him, “...really... I don’t know...” Xelloss sat down lazily, laying his staff across his lap, then in a resigned voice he started, “Well it looks like this might take awhile...” Noticing Xelloss’ new vantage point she closed her knees together and drew her feet in to block any view he might have. She moved back a little simultaneously to conceal her chest from view behind her knees. Xelloss sighed a bit and shifted his weight before starting.

            “Lina, you are a black magic sorceress and you know you draw off the power of the dark lords....” Lina nodded to encourage him to keep going, “..Well with you it’s more then that, you have actually been in the presence of Lord Shabranigdo in your life time and you have had the privilege of being a vessel for the Lord of Nightmares and there are other instances unique to you...” Lina cut in at this moment, “But how does that explain...” Xelloss shook his finger and she quickly went silent.  After a moment, satisfied she would listen he started again, “Because of this... you have been altered, you’ve been exposed to enough demonic energy that your body has assimilated it, and because of this when you go without it for long periods of time, like you just did, you need to go out and create your own, you could have just casted a dragon slave, but you can also feed off emotions like the rest of us and that seems to be the most natural way that your body uses to get its supply of darkness...” Xelloss finished with a wicked smile and Lina could only sit in silence and shiver.

            They sat for a few moments, during which time Xelloss quickly became bored. So he started spinning his staff between his hands. Lina’s face brightened, “So I can just cast a couple dragon slaves and all this will go away!?” Xelloss smiled again and looked toward her happily, “No.” Lina did a double take, her hands falling away from her knees and ending up in fists at her sides, “What’da mean NO?!” Xelloss stood up from his fidgety spot on the ground keeping his eye on Lina, “Well.... What you used to need was just demonic energy, at that time all it would have taken was a dragon slave and you would have been sated but.... now you are certainly addicted to the more flavorful version, the energy of someone’s emotions, it’s the difference between being spoon fed saw dust and indulging in the best food money can buy, and the more you get the more you want.” Xelloss finished in a tone that showed he too longed for the taste of another's pain.

            Once again resigned to her fate Lina settled back, not caring for the pains of her body. She had been sure Xelloss had finished speaking but he once again picked up his train of thought, “However, because of the way you became connected with the dark lords you almost have a cyclic relationship, it’s very interesting, you almost get the same pleasure from inflicting pain on yourself as you do others.... very interesting.... and therefore pain and pleasure are almost interchangeable for you....” At this point Lina who was entirely in pain had to grunt in disapproval but Xelloss gave no indication of hearing her, “... so if you get injured enough you feed off your own pain and you experience pleasure. And we all know what happens when you humans start experiencing pleasure... but .... when you experience pleasure, does that mean that you must give yourself some kind of pain...? Actually your whole predicament is quite the hot topic with the powers that be...”

            Lina couldn’t help but blush, ~Did the whole astral plane watch me get off?~ She shook the image from her head turning her attention back to Xelloss, “So what do you think?” Xelloss pointed to himself in a ‘who me’ manner, “I can see your astral body Lina, it’s no longer human, it’s growing in strange shapes, actually... you’re starting to look like one of my kind.” Once again Xelloss’ smile had the uncanny ability to unnerve Lina. She let out a shaky breath and fell onto her back, no longer caring about Xelloss staring at her. It was just too much, her brain couldn’t handle everything while sitting up.

            Xelloss started to walk away and that immediately caught her attention. She turned her head on its side to see him and he seemed to realize her question before it was uttered. “I’ll be back in a few minutes Lina.” The slight joy that she had already started feeling melted away and she let her head go back to its previous position starring at the ceiling. She let her tense muscles go back to normal, she took shallow breaths, the somewhat sulfurous air giving an almost pleasant tingle. The warmth of the ground relaxing her as well, lulling her to the gates of slumber. The pain in her knees started to pass away too, then the light spell flicked for a moment and the room fell into darkness. Lina didn’t even attempt to re-cast it, finally she was starting to feel peaceful again with thoughts of suicide filling her head.

            Shortly after the light spell went out, through her eyelids she was startled to see it had been re-cast. She looked to the doorway were she expected Xelloss to be, but he had already transversed the distance before casting the spell and was directly in front of Lina. Her look went from shock to terror quickly and grew as Xelloss spoke, “See Lina, I told you I would bring a boy.” He finished with a smile and Lina felt her heart drop as she looked over the slightly chubby boy standing next to Xelloss. Clad in only something resembling a loin cloth the boy, who barely came up to Xelloss’ shoulders couldn’t keep his eyes off Lina. The bangs of his short brown hair were sticking to his forehead from all the sweat he was producing in the heat of the cave. Lina looked down further and passed his hairless chest entirely and spied the cloth covering his groin. She watched intently as a spot between his legs began to slowly spring out, something she had never seen before.

            Xelloss was looking at the same thing then looked toward Lina, “I think he likes you!” He said giving a diabolically toothy grin. Lina gulped trying to come up with a witty retort, “I thought you said you were bringing me a whole village of boys...” She said giving a little fake chuckle. The boy gulped and used his hands to cover between his legs. Xelloss patted him on the head and smiled wide again, “Well there are quite a few more outside if you need them, but I figured you’d only need one to get started, was I wrong?” Lina tried to swallow but her throat was too dry. Her heart was already starting to beat faster, she could almost smell him, she knew it now, she was feeling his fear. “Fear and lust...” She said it out loud for Xelloss’ benefit, he arched an eyebrow, “Very perceptive Lina, although you might have guessed that from the way he’s acting too.”

            Lina started to try and calm herself down. She focused though her emotions but it was a tough hurdle to jump. She felt hot all over, more so then could be accounted for by the heat of the tunnel. She tried to push herself up, afraid of the pain in her knees and instead felt a somewhat pleasant ache, a heat spreading up from around them and traveling up her legs. ~My body’s just converting one form of energy to another....~ She justified to herself, taking a deep breath to keep her focus, ~...it’s channeling the pain through whatever part is mazoku... and the dark energy from that my body is using to heal itself... like Xelloss said, a cyclic relationship....~ 

            Still though, standing was difficult and after some cumbersome attempts she did manage to end up on her feet, somewhat slouched over. During this time Xelloss and the boy did not move, although now the boy’s erection was quite promenade from watching Lina attempt to make it to her feet naked. Xelloss kept a hand on the boys shoulder and bowed slightly at his hips, extending out his other hand, “Your dagger Lina.” Her mind iced over as she saw the flashing blade and her control became like air in a fishing net, fading, gone. ~I know I’ll regret this later, I don’t want to do this.... but I want it so much.... I just.... to give in.... it would feel so good..... I can't stop myself....~

            A smile tickled the corners of her lips as she reached out for the dagger, her posture and confidence improving drastically as she shifted over mentally. Grabbing it by the handle she looked it over carefully, as if it might have changed since she saw it several hours earlier, verifying its identity. Without hesitation she grabbed her left nipple and pulled it out away from her body and pressed the tip of the knife into the flesh right at the base of her areola. The tip went in slowly, one rapid advancement after it penetrated the first layer of skin and yet another is it pushed though the other side. Lina’s heart was beating faster now and tunnel vision was kicking in, but the feelings were still great. The terrible delicious feeling of metal slowly cutting into flesh, she let out a low moan mixed with a hiss as she pulled the knife down and out of the bottom of her areola. Blood was flowing freely as she went back and lifted up the lower half of her nipple and completely severed it from her body, the thin piece of flesh that still attached it easily carved off.

            She took the nipple and popped it in her mouth, chewed it a couple times and swallowed, “I just had to finish that one off.  I thought for sure I took care of it the other night...” Xelloss actually seemed slightly fazed by this but tried not to let it show. Next to him the boy looked wildly between Lina and Xelloss with his eyes but didn’t move. Lina looked toward the boy and smiled a little wider and more wickedly, “I see you’ve done me the favor of casting the paralysis spell on the fat kid.” Xelloss looked down at the child and smiled then tapped him on the head with his staff, “Now you can thank me.” She smiled back, reveling in the boys fear, taking it all into herself, making her even more muddled and light headed.

            The blood from her nipple severing had completely trailed down her body, running between her legs and down between her thighs, just barely beginning to puddle between her feet. She didn’t even give it a second thought. She stepped foreword toward the boy, on her first step the knee on her leading leg shook unstably but managed to recover, her next step was better and the one after that seemingly normal. The short distance was covered with agonizing slowness and the boy looked panicked. His already sweaty brow was becoming more saturated by the second but all he could do was stand still as Lina advanced.

            When she got to the boy she crouched down, dropping the dagger to the floor and putting her hands on her knees to physically hold them in their sockets. The boy shifted his eyes away from Lina, during which time Xelloss took a few steps away and melted into the shadows. For Lina all there was in the world was her and the boy and conveniently the light spell focused on just the two of them. She judiciously reached to the sides of the cloth the boy donned and pulled it down, his penis striking out in a seemingly defensive manner that took Lina by surprise. 

            With all coverings out of the way Lina went straight to the prize. Never in her life had she seen one of these. Sure, she had heard people talk about them , some rough drawings occasionally were glanced upon by here. But in all of her life Lina had never seen a real penis. She reached out and touched it a little on the head, her fingers colder then the surrounding flesh of it, making goose bumps rise up on her arms. Forgetting her malicious impulses for a moment she took the shaft into both of her hands, her first completely encompassing from the base to the head and the second just covering the tail end. The warmth from it seemed to spread up her arm and she giggled a little bit from the strange sensations. She leaned in a little bit and gave it a light kiss on the crown and then became a little more daring and gave it a solid lick. The musky aroma of the area pulling somewhere deep within her body.

            On a whim she changed her focus down a little further, moving her hand just a few inches away she cupped the boys balls, “Ohhh....” Lina mouthed involuntarily as she moved them around in their sack. She took both of her hands to them, sliding them back and fourth between the thin membrane. At first it was simple curiosity but it became something more sadistic as she started to become intent on popping one of them. She braced one of them from behind and put her two thumbs to either side of it. Determined she slowly slid them along the flesh with intense pressure making the boy breath out pained but otherwise unchanged in his stone expression. As her fingers slid up the side of his ball she greatly increased the pressure, letting the back of it fall into a depression between her fingers to keep it from sliding. With it firmly pressed between her thumbs and the back of her hand she gave it her all, raising up on her haunches to put downward pressure on it.

            The boy let out a painfully wheezing breath, his face turning beet red. As the pressure increased Lina was sure it would give, but instead it slid out from her hold, disappointing her to no end. Now slightly distraught but non the less determined she grabbed up the whole sack in her left hand and twisted till it was pulled away tightly from the rest of the body, then she reared back and punched it. The boy's whole body tensed up as much as the spell would allow and he lost his breath but the balls remained intact. A wicked thought crossed her mind and it was so much that her hand was drawn down between her bloody thighs and straight to her clit.

            Her moans started out lightly but grew in volume as she moved her other hand to where her nipple had been to aid in her arousal. She forced one finger into the hole left where the nipple was and under the skin and started moving it around. Her fingers between her legs started to work even faster to keep up with her need for pain and pleasure as she wobbled unsteadily on the balls of her feet. Opening her eyes and pulling herself from her own pleasure she moved her head foreword and took the head of the boy's cock into her mouth all at once. Immediately she started grinding her teeth into it, bruising the tender flesh and tonguing up some of the blood she was drawing. Now the boy’s eyes were vacant, his mind was nowhere near the even now taking place, and that was for the best.

            Lina noticed this, her feed of emotional pain was slacking off from the boy. Her link with her mozoku side intensifying now that she knew what to look for. She stopped fingering herself and removed her finger from her breast, leaving behind a gaping hole that extended the length of the mound and straight to her ribs. She forced herself up savoring the ungodly sounds that emanated from her knees and the terrible pain ripping through her feet from forcing her pressure on to the balls of her feet on the rocks that were sharp as glass. Standing now in a large puddle of her own blood she reached back and without warning smacked the boy in the face as hard as she could, causing him to teeter and after a moment fall to the ground. 

            She wiped the blood from her hands on her hips leaving red streaks and looked into the air, “Xelloss! Get out here!” Just as she had expected almost instantly he was walking out of the darkness in her direction, a shit eating grin on his face and his hand behind his head in embarrassment. “Anything I can help you with Lina?” She looked down at the boy angrily, “This Fuck passed out on me!” She accentuated her point by attempting to kick the downed boy but aborted before she even started due to her instability. Xelloss took a few more steps toward Lina and went to put a arm around her shoulder but seeing the look of rage on her face decided against it and moved his arm back to his side.

            Xelloss looked back toward Lina from the boy, “Well you have to expect things like that with kids, they don’t deal with pain very well...” Lina looked back down at the boy, “Get him up Xelloss.... Now!” Xelloss pretended to be panicked to please Lina and quickly bent down to see the condition of the boy, after a moments consideration he reached toward the boy and his hand transported through his chest. Instantly the boy's whole body jerked and his eyes went wide, he took a deep gasping breath and Xelloss took out his hand. He shook it as if trying to dislodge liquid from it and stood up. He motioned toward the boy with his hands and backed away, “He’s all yours Lina.” Lina smiled, she moved her hand from its place between her legs were it was during the whole affair and reached down to grab the dagger, “It’s time to end this, because I’ve got a bunch of boys to get through tonight, and if I don’t get to them all, I won’t regret this as much in the morning.” 

            Lina looked down at the boy who was now on his elbows looking at Lina in fear, “Stand up!” She commanded noticing that he was no longer under the effect of the paralysis. He was slow to respond and Xelloss took that as his que and whacked the kid in the head with his staff. Spittle flew from the juveniles mouth as it struck but he quickly rose to his feet and looked at Lina expectantly. Now with her dagger in hand she dropped down into a crouch again, “Xelloss, can you paralyze his body, but make it so I can still hear him scream?” The boy's fright doubled and he looked toward Xelloss, fearing the answer as much as Lina was hoping for it. He put his finger to his chin appearing to be lost in thought for a moment then looked at Lina, “I don’t see why not.” 

            Xelloss took the end of his staff and touched it to the boy who immediately seized up. He waited a moment, “Speak!” The boy said nothing so Xelloss smashed him in the head with his staff again and the boy cried out, a couple tears coming to the end of his eyes. Xelloss smiled sharply and looked to Lina, “There you go, if you need anything else I’ll just be over there, okay?” Lina gave him and affirmative shake of the head and moved the dagger around in her hand a bit to get a feel for it again. Satisfied she grabbed his balls and cock together and pulled them upward toward his stomach. His flaccid phallus started to become erect again in Lina’s hand and she looked up at him disgusted.

            “Does it turn you on that I’m going to cut off your dick you fat fuck!” The color drained from the boy's face and he tried to say something but it came out garbled, she could tell he was begging, she could feel his fear, his tears rolling down his cheeks were delicious motivation for Lina, a stray tear falling from his jaw and landing on Lina’s own cheek. She eagerly tongued it up and smiled at him. Then she felt something that surprised her, his dick continued to grow, pushing her hand apart a minuscule amount, “Ohhh.. so you do want me to cut it off..” The boy tried to shake his head no but could hardly move a fraction, he tried to plead with her again, letting out strangled sounds and crying softly. 

            Lina had never been so turned before in her her short sexual life. She eagerly pulled up the bundle of flesh even more and put the edge of the knife under his extended sack. His cries of protest picked up as did Lina’s intensity, her heart was in her throat, her mouth dry, her face flushed with hot blood. Slowly she started to saw into the boy's sack. At first the blade did not cut the malleable flesh but as her pressure built up it started to give way, sinking in without drawing blood, being held inside by the pressure of the blade. It had passed a centimeter or so into the flesh and Lina decided to check on her progress. She pulled away the blade and let go of the package of flesh. She was immediately in rapture, for when she let go both of the balls that she had been so occupied with before fell free from their home inside of the boy.

            They hung there, bobbing up and down almost indefinably with the boy's breathing and as Lina looked at the white sacks on their cords she couldn’t help herself. Her right hand was between her legs fondling the folds of flesh found there. Her fingers were working their way through the bloody mess and into her cunt. Her heart pounded, her eyes glazed, in pleasure she threw up, spattering the ground with a terrible concoction of blood and a half digested sludge of her dinner from before. Her pace did not slow though, actually it quickened, she took her free hand and picked up the knife and looked over the finish of the blade gleefully. She took in the grain of the handle and the blood from both this boy and herself. A slight orgasm rocked her but she stayed on her feet and redoubled her effort. She took the knife and held it next to one of the cords coming out of the boy's body, blood streaming down it freely to the ground mixing with her own.

            Another small orgasm on the verge of the infinite orgasm looming. She was at the edge almost there, the boy was nearly emasculated. By the knife that had changed her life so much. He wouldn’t be able to spawn, or have pleasure when she was done. ~...after I take his balls... I’ll come back for his cock... then... I might let him live....~ She laughed to herself at the thought. Her fingers desperately pulling at her clit, the fingernails embedding deeply into the flesh. ~His cock is sort of like my clit..... if I....~ Suddenly the part of her that was un-corrupted figured it out ~... If I want more pain, I'll give myself more pain!~  She moved her hand away from her clit and dropped backwards onto her butt and spread her legs. Still with the boy's balls in view hanging from his body and her cunt in the same view she knew how to answer her problems and make herself happy.

            She stabbed foreword with all of her might and hit her mark. The tip of the knife sinking deeply into the flesh directly next to her clit, ending its decent into her body abruptly when it struck her pelvic bone. She screamed out raggedly but didn’t stop her course of action. Working with a brute force unknown to most she drew the blade in a tight deep circle around her clit, straight to the bone. Screaming at the top of her lungs she worked the knife around a few more times to cut through the sinew and the tendons and the nerves. She threw the knife desperately to the side and sunk two of her fingers into the jagged circular opening surrounding her clit. Working them in and out of the bloody mess. Her other hand went down in between her legs going deep into her cunt. 

“Fuck......
Fuck...
FUCK, 
Oh GoOoDdDdDdDdD!
Aghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!” 

            Her entire body clenched up and her back arched, digging deeply into the glass-like rocks. She pinched her clit tightly between her fingers and pulled away from her body with all of her might. She felt a strange tearing from deep within and the whole organ ripped away. “Ahhh, Aughhh!” She dropped back, straight into the ground and went still except for the gradual pumping of her hips, and the whole cavern went completely silent with the exception of Lina’s shredded breathing.

            Xelloss walked out from the shadows clapping his hands with the biggest smile on his face, “Well done Lina, I knew you'd figure that out eventually, but that was quick even for you.” Lina tried to open her eyes but failed, she turned her head slowly in his general direction, giving a questioning look, Xelloss shook his head in disapproval as if chastising a child, “You know you’re going to need that one day Lina...” Xelloss raised his hand up and her fingers uncurled from her destroyed clit, it levitated a few inches into the air and was enveloped in a translucent cube of space, shimmering, then it solidified into existence. By now Lina had opened her eyes and she was starring in mesmerized at the nub of flesh as it levitated over toward her and touched down weightlessly on her chest. Magically a shimmering chain grew into existence around her neck, connecting to the sides of the cube. It too solidified and all at once she could feel it around her. 

            “Xelloss...?” She managed out sounding pained. Xelloss just doubled up his smile and pointed between Lina’s legs with his staff, “Oh my Lina, it looks to me like you’re bleeding to death...” Lina forced her head up quickly and gave a little eep at the considerable puddle of blood almost gushing from her crotch area. She looked around franticly and grabbed the discarded cape from earlier, pressing it tightly into her crotch to stem the flow of blood. She looked up expectantly but all Xelloss gave her was a smile, “See you later Lina.” And with that he teleported away laughing, taking the boy with him and leaving Lina in physically terrible condition, but mentally renewed.

***^^**/\/\/\/\-----_|||||_-----/\/\/\/\**^^***

Epilogue

            It took me awhile to get out of the caves but with the help of a few fireballs I managed to tunnel my way to the surface. Sure there’s been a lot on my mind, but at least I made it back before anyone woke up and found my little note. After all of this though, I feel a hundred percent better.  I can actually think clearly again! After a little detour with everyone back to the quarry, a few moments gazing out at what could have became my tomb and grabbing up my things from underground, we were off again on our way to another adventure. But I haven’t figured out what Xelloss hoped to get from all of this. 

            Absently I reach down and run my fingers over the flawless surface of my pendant again. 

            I keep it just beneath my shirt, out of view but close to me. Now I know it was the channeling point, it connected myself with the evil that I’ve gathered over the years. But it’s still there, the evil. I can feel it now that I know what to look for, in the astral plane my body is just like Xelloss said, it’s no longer human. I know one day I’ll have to deal with it again, but thinking about it makes the pendant warm against my skin. For what seems like the hundredth time since I got this ‘gift’ from Xelloss I’m thinking about destroying it again. But it’s a part of me.....

            “So Zel, where’s this lost city at?” I ask sarcastically, knowing that this is after all a lost city we're looking for, but we’ve been walking around for so long, and my feet are starting to get tired. He gives one of his trademark glowers, pretending that I’m getting to him, but we both know that it’s all in fun. It’s not like I’m not enjoying the fresh air. I feel so free.... 

            Gourry knows something or at least suspects something happened, he’s been more protective for the last couple days... and speak of the devil...

            He ever so casually puts his arm across my shoulders, but that’s not such a good idea, the road we’re walking on is rough and it’s not at all comforting. Still though it feels good to have contact with him. I let myself lean off to the side a bit and up against him and he smiles, that goofy smile that I never really noticed before. Now I can hear Zel and Amelia ahead of us trying to whisper to each other, probably about me and Gourry. My, aren’t they getting close. 

            I decide to take a jab at them. “So Amelia, when’s the big wedding?” Amelia immediately turns around to face me, I guess she's trying to stare me down, but how could it work with a face like hers.

            “And what wedding would that be Lina?”

            Ohhhh... I struck a nerve. Shrugging my shoulders I get Gourry’s arm off me and take a few steps foreword. I’m trying my darndest to get my face to look just like hers. All scrunched up and angry looking. I know I’m failing miserably but it’s funny, at least Gourry and Zel seem to be getting it, they’re both cracking smiles right now. But Amelia’s just redoubling her efforts. I can’t help it any more...

            “Bwa ha ha ha haaa...” I can’t stop the laugh from getting out, and Amelia finally lets go, her face softens to a smile.

            “Lina...”  She shakes her head a little from side to side and her smile widens, then she turns around and starts walking again.

            I think they’re all happy that I’m feeling better. 

            We re-group a bit and Gourry positions his hand across my back again. It’s good and pure feeling so I don’t mind at all, as long as he doesn’t get all hentai on me. Finally after some walking Zel puts his arm over Amelia, I almost didn’t notice when it happened, he was being so slick about it. I nudge Gourry a little and point silently, he just nods his head and smiles. We’re both happy for the two of them.

            As for Xelloss, he’s still around, we haven’t seen him today but he pops up like usual. Of course he’s pretending like nothing happened. I think he might be doing it for me.... well if he is, it would be the only good deed he’s ever done in his life! I mean, after what he did to me.... well I can’t blame him entirely... but that sure as hell doesn't mean that I forgive his happy ass!

            I snuggle in a little bit to Gourry’s arm and feel my terrible memories melt away. My body is relaxing a bit so I have to concentrate more on the road ... my walking reflex doesn’t seem to be automated when I’m this comfy, I never noticed that before. I lift my head up a little and look into Gourry’s face, our eyes lock...

            “Gourry... 

            ...could you... 

            ...carry me?”

            The look on his face is priceless.

            “Carry you! Whad’ya think I am, a horse?” He says in an incredulous tone.

            “Well... it was worth a shot!” I take a step away from Gourry and take a spot walking on my own again. He just gives me the weirdest look and it seems like I’ve caught Zelgadiss’ attention as well.

            “You two are incredible.”

            I smile a bit at that, “Thank you Zel!” He just shakes his head and turns back to face the road ahead and I giggle a bit. I feel like I’ve got my life back, and this time I’m going to live it to the limit. I’ve got my friends back, and this time I’m going to cherish them. My future is not set in stone and I think I’ve got though the worst life as to offer. Softly I mutter to myself one of Amelia’s trademark lines, “Life is wonderful...” And I believe it just might hold true yet.


The End

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