A/N: I actually wrote something! YES! Nice to meet you all.

"Dammit, my feet hurt," Lina whines behind me. I ignore her, and I press on. We're almost there. "Hold up Zel... come on, wait! I mean, you've waited this long! Can't you just wait a half a second longer?"

"Fine, then," I reply, pausing a moment.

"Really? All right!" Lina sits down on a rock with a "Phew," and Amelia sits down beside her. Gourry does, too, probably. I don't turn to look.

I keep going. "I'll see you there," I finish.

"ZEL! Don't you dare! STOP RIGHT THERE!" I hear Lina crying at me in the distance. I don't bother to answer her.


I can't wait up for her. I'm almost there. I speed on ahead. She'll forgive me.

I've reached the mouth of the cave. An eager grin spreads across my face. I'm sure it looks monstrous. But then, when don't I look like an evil monster, ready to eat babies feet-first? But that will soon change.

I step inside, taking my time now; it should be close, and I want to treasure this moment. As I walk, the light from the mouth of the cave is swallowed in the moist darkness. "Lightning," I cast, and I keep going. It's not a very big cave, and there's only one path; soon, I see it in front of me.

There's a shrine, a very small one, beneath it. A marvel such as this really deserves more. There's an altar and a plate for burnt offerings. From the looks of it, no one has offered anything in a long time. No one's been here; this artifact has been forgotten, somehow, despite its power and significance.

The artifact itself is what I came for. It looks like a stalactite: it hangs down from the ceiling like a curtain made of stone. But it's golden, and glows slightly. They say that it's a gift from the Mother... if that's what you want to call her.

I prefer to call her the Lord of Nightmares.

It's beautiful, really, and worth more reverance than I have time for. Let's go already! I think to myself, but I pause a moment. What I'm about to do to this marvel felt kind of like blasphemy. But then, I guess I'm quite the blasphemer, aren't I? To ask for this golden thing's blessing I have to do as the tales described. So I walk up to it, wrap my arms around it like it's a lover, and kiss it.

A magical tingle goes through me, turning into a spark, and growing. I feel it about to shatter me, just like--dare I think it?--an orgasm. Yes, that is exactly what it feels like. I can't help it. I moan, and the pleasure rips through me. I fall to the ground, shuddering.

I self-consciously bring my hand to my crotch. No wetness, nothing. Of course. I would have known if it was really an orgasm--right? No, I have never had an orgasm as intense as that. I stand up, holding my head. My gaze falls back on the golden stalactite. Its glow is gone. Funny. Has the power within it bestowed its blessing upon me and dissipated?

Its blessing--my cure! I look down at my hands... and... I fall to the floor of the cave in defeat. Nothing has happened. I'm still the same horrid, wretched, sandpaper-covered blue monster. I sigh, and I shake my head. I should be used to these defeats, but I'm not yet. I fish through my pocket for the description of the magical relic. Maybe I just did something wrong.

"The Tear of Chaos," it says. "Wrap your arms around it tenderly and give it a kiss, and it will fulfill your deepest, dearest wish." Well, it could always be possible that my deepest wish isn't my cure. It's possible.

But unlikely. I know myself very well, I think, and there was only one reason why I've been searching for my cure all this time. And that's because I want it. I want to be healed. I want to be human again. What could be more dear to me than my humanity?

Amelia? Oh, please. The girl will toss me aside as soon as she's found someone more like herself to dote upon.

Lina? No. She's a friend, that's it.

And I certainly don't go the other way, thank you very much.

I wrack my brains for some wish, some desire I have to get out of my head before this stupid relic will work for me. What could it be? Power? No. I've got power, I don't need any more. Then what...?

I sigh. Maybe that wasn't it. Maybe even the Tear of Chaos can't fulfil my wish.

Maybe that means it's time to give up.

No! I shake my head furiously. It's never time to give up.

"Zel! Goddamit, Zel, where the hell are you?!" I hear voices outside the cave.

"Zelgadiiis-saaan!" Amelia cries.

"Hey, Zeeeel! Zeeeel!" Add Gourry's voice to the chorus.

I stand, dejected. "I'm here!" I huff, walking out of the room with the Tear, and towards the cave entrance.

"Zel!" I meet Lina's eyes. And they're...different. She's blushing. Amelia gasps--she's blushing, too.

"What?" I ask. "Is something different?" I look at my hands, my arms. No, I'm just the same.

"Well, that's just it, Zelgadiss-san...." Amelia gulps. "You're the same as you've always been..."

Okay, weirded out now. I back up a pace... but Amelia and Lina quickly close the gap between us. They grab me around the waist and press their breasts against me. I blush.

I look up at Gourry for help. But then I see his eyes. They're the same as Amelia and Lina's.

Oh, shit.

"Guys... what's going on?" I ask.

Gourry chuckles a little and walks towards me. I find myself pinned down by Amelia and Lina--I can't take a step back. "Nothing's going on, Zel!" he says, smiling, putting his hand on my shoulder. "We just... you know..."

"We love you, Zel!" Lina cries. Her hand starts wandering up my tunic, finding its way under my belt.

I can feel myself blushing. "Um...okay, guys, you can stop..."

Amelia sighs. "Oh, you're always like that, Zelgadiss-san!" she says, half pleading. "Always so distant! Can't you just accept that we care?"

Oh no. That's it, isn't it? That's my deepest desire! To... have someone who cared about me. Right? Maybe? Not... not this... And definitely... not that, Lina! "Lina, stop!" Her hand made it up to his chest, and began to rub it in circles.

"No way!" Lina said. Some fire had returned to her eyes, along with... lust. Yes. That was definitely what it was. Lust. I look back up at Gourry, pleading with him.

"Yeah. What Lina said," Gourry grins, and he decides it's his turn. He stands behind me and pulls me down towards the ground. I'm bewildered, to say the least.

Then I realize what's going on. "No!" I struggle. "Gourry, fight it!" I cry. "You're under a spell! All of you are!" I cry. I should have more strength than this. I push against Gourry, but somehow his strength seems... inhuman. He sets me down on the ground, gently, like one would treat an injured kitten... or a lady. Which I'm not! "Guys, stop it! It's a spell!" But then Gourry grabs my arms and holds me down. I struggle against them, but I can't move.

"A spell?" Lina laughs. "Hah, if it were a spell I'd know!" she says. "We just decided it was time to show you how we really felt about you, Zel."

"A-all of you?" I begin, but am suddenly distracted when I feel a gentle petting on the inside of my thigh. My eyes dart downwards. Amelia, with all her inexperience, is moving her hand up towards the bulge in my pants. I gasp. She's blushing bright red, and I can tell she's never done anything like this before, but it still feels so good.

And I find that's about the end of my resistance. "Oh..." I gasp again as Amelia feels for my balls within my pants. "Ungh..." I start to rub against her hand, wordlessly asking for more, and she is eager to oblige.

But Lina's far from idle. She takes that moment to, with all her strength, *tear* my shirt out from under my belt. She pulls it, and my cloak, up over my head, revealing my stone skin. She leaves it there on my arms. I turn my eyes away in shame, and I remember to struggle against Gourry's grip. When Lina finds out I made her do this, even if it was by accident, I'm so dead. I swallow.

"What's wrong?" Lina asks. "Don't you want this?"

Oh, of course I do. But... not like this!

Lina smirks. "Well, never mind. I'll make you want it!" And as if on cue, Amelia's ministrations gain in intensity. I moan again.

Lina puts one leg on either side of me, rubbing her crotch against my chest. She takes off her shirt and leans down, pressing her breasts against my face. Amelia pulls down my pants, and I gasp as the crisp air brushes against my sensitized skin She runs her hand across my exposed thigh. Lina puts a nipple on my lips. "Suck them," She commands. Her eyes promise death if I disobey. I open my mouth and lick her, then suck gently. She moans, and her hand disappears inside her pants. She starts to rub herself, and cries out. "Oh yeah," she says.

Then Amelia's hand finds my hardened length, and she starts feeling it. She's very inexperienced, I can tell, but it feels so good. "Uungh..." I moan. Lina takes her breast out of my mouth and stands up. She takes her pants down, slowly, grinning at my reaction. She discards them and her boots and then she's right back on top of me, rubbing against me. She's very wet. I can feel her wetness against my skin.

She licks her fingers and begins to play with her nipple as I watch. Then she begins to rub her clit, moaning, watching my expression. She likes to put on a show, I can tell. But right now I just really want to fuck her, and Amelia, again and again. I don't think I'll have to wait that long.

Amelia licks my balls, cautiously, then brings her tongue up against my cock. She licks all the way from one end to the other, then puts the whole thing in her mouth. I practically howl my pleasure. She somehow manages to swallow the whole thing, and her mouth works my penis.

I'm close. My face scrunches up, and I'm about to come. Then Lina stands and pushes Amelia off. "Aw, Lina-san... I want to be his first!" Amelia cries.

Lina frowns. "Aw, come on... How do you even know that he's a virgin? Come on, Zel, you're not a virgin, are you?" she asks me.

I clear my throat and look away. Lina's eyes are wide. "No way!" Then she looks over at Amelia. "Fine," she says. "But don't wear him out!" she winks.

Amelia smiles shyly. She's still fully dressed, I notice. But she quickly remedies that and throws her clothes to the side. Her breasts are huge. I never completely realized that before.

Then I start to regain my senses, just a little. "Wait... hold on Amelia! What if I hurt you?" I manage to grind out, my voice hoarse.

Amelia smiled. "Aww, Zelgadiss-san! Don't worry!" She says. She leans over me, and I can see the view of her breasts from above. Then she takes my mouth in a kiss.

It's the first time anyone has kissed me. I mean, *really* kissed me. Her tongue invades my mouth and explores it. It's wonderful, indiscribable. I really hope this isn't the last time I get to feel her tongue against mine.

Then she backs up and positions herself above me. And without any more warning, she pins herself on my cock. I gasp again. The feeling of having warm flesh enveloping me is a thousand times better than anything Amelia or Lina has done to me yet. She's tight, very tight. And I now know for sure that she was a virgin, as was I. Her face is scrunched in pain as she gets used to the feeling, but then she starts moving up and down against me, and I can see the pain melting into pleasure. "Mmmm...." she begins to moan. "Ungh...yeah...."

And she's so good. "Mmmm... Oh..." I moan too. I move against her, plunging into her as she comes down.

Then Lina comes over to nibble on my ear. I gasp. No one's ever done that before. I didn't realize how sensitive they were. Then Lina grabs my mouth with hers and ravages it with her tongue.

I'm close again. "Oh yeah... Amelia..." I say as I plunge into her again and again, pounding into her. Lina licks my ear again and begins moaning into it. I manage to tear my eyes away from Amelia's bouncing breasts long enough to see her playing with herself again. She plunges her finger into herself in time with me fucking Amelia.

"Zel..." Amelia is close, too. I can tell by her whimper. "ahhhh...hah...." Then she screams and comes. Her muscles tighten around me and I come inside of her. "Mmmm...." She leans down for another kiss, which I eagerly give.

"Okay, my turn, Amelia!" Lina says, more breathless than her usual self. Amelia grumbles a little, but gets off of me.

"Zel..." Lina says, addressing me this time.

"Hnm?" I'm barely coherent.

"Fuck me doggy-style," she says.

"Sure..." I mumble, but it's easier said than done. Lina frowns at my wilting penis.

"Aw, come on," she says, but instead of complaining about my lack of endurance any more, she comes down on me. She sucks me with more experience than Amelia has, making long strokes with her tongue. She's obviously done this before. And to my amazement, she quickly gets me hard again.

"All right. Now let's do this. Gourry, you can let him go now." Gourry nods and releases my wrists. I should really run or something now, but I can't. The sight of Lina turned on and ready for me is something no man can easily run away from. She gets down on all fours on the floor of the cave, her entrance moist and ready for me.

I plunge into her, fucking her as hard as I can. "Oh yeah! Hell yeah!" Lina cries as I fuck her. She moves with me. "Faster!" She says. I fuck her fast and hard. "Oh yeah! Fuck yeah!" She plays with herself with one hand as I fuck her, and she comes quickly. Her passageway grips me hard. I keep pounding her. I'm about to cum again, but she pushes me off.

"I want you to cum on me," she says, lying beneath me. She rubs her hands against my cock and that's all I need. I come all over her, on her face and between her breasts. She dips her fingers in the hot liquid and tastes it. "Mmm," she grins at me.

I hear panting beside me. I turn to see Amelia fingering herself. She's leaning against the wall of the cave, her vagina in full view. Her finger moves faster as she sees me watching her; she's about to cum again. Her huge breasts bounce as she fucks herself with her finger.

Lina doesn't like the lack of attention. She pulls my head down in a kiss, then moves her hand down my back. I can hear Amelia's desperate moaning beside me, and Lina continues the kiss, distracting me from where her hand is going. I hear Amelia cum, screaming her head off, and my penis is already starting to spring back to life.

Lina's hand goes down into the crack of my ass, and I jerk up, surprised. "Uh, Lina..." I begin to say, but Lina just smiles at me. She plunges her finger into my ass, causing me to gasp. It feels...different, but nice. Then she puts another finger in and starts to stretch me out. I hiss in surprise. It still feels kind of nice, but still very strange. Then I feel strong hands on my shoulders. My eyes widen in surprise.

Gourry's been very quiet up until now, but I can feel his bare flesh against my back. "G-gourry..." I mumble.

"Shhh," Gourry says. "Don't worry, Zel. I ain't gonna hurt ya."

"B-but..."

Lina bites my neck, cutting off my protests. She's still beneath me, but now she's squirming out from under me, winking at Amelia, who comes over to take her spot. She smiles up at me, kind of sheepishly, then says, "Zelgadiss-san...will you... have sex with me again?"

"Y-" I start to reply, but then I feel Gourry's erect cock against my ass. I gasp, feeling the precum leave a wet spot on my buttcheek. "Gourry... I..." But before I can protest any more, Gourry plunges his huge cock inside of me. PAIN. It hurts, it hurts a lot. But then he hits a spot inside of me, and I start to see stars, it feels so good. I'm fully erect again, and I start to move with him.

Then Amelia takes action. She positions herself beneath my penis, which is now moving in time with Gourry's thrusts, and pushes herself against me. Her passageway is slick with my semen and her girl-cum, and it feels so good. Gourry's cock is in me and Amelia's fucking me for all she's worth. I'm about to die from the pleasure.

Then Lina takes my mouth in a kiss. She bites my neck, in a different spot this time, and sucks. I moan, over and over. I can hear Gourry and Amelia panting. I keep thrusting into Amelia, as Gourry thrusts into me, hitting that one spot over and over. I've already cum twice before, but I find myself about to cum again.

Lina bites my ear, and it's all over. I cum inside Amelia again. I feel Gourry give one last thrust and fill me with his warm liquid. I collapse to the ground, utterly exhausted. I close my eyes and feel myself start to drift off to sleep, even on the cold cave floor.

Then I hear something. Lina. Oh, shit.... the spell's broken, isn't it? Now I'm in for it. I'm about to die, and I can't do anything about it. "I'm sorry..." I mumble.

"He's over here!" Amelia. "There he is! I...I think."

"Hmn?" I open my eyes and look up to find Amelia's worried eyes. And she's fully clothed. Although I can't help myself from noticing her volumptuous breasts in my face.

"Zelgadiss-san?" Amelia says, eyes wide. "Are you all right?" She has a lighting spell in her hand. It's...dark. Wasn't I at the mouth of the cave? With her?

"Huh?" I sit up. "You're not going to kill me?"

"Hahaha! Why the hell would we kill you, you idiot?" Lina asks, kicking me in the side. I notice it hurts more than it usually does.

"Uh... because..."

"Oh, because you left us behind, disappeared in this cave, and didn't come when we called for you, scaring us half to death?" Lina growled at him. "Gee, I didn't think about that. Thanks for reminding me!" She readied a punch.

"Uh, Lina!" Gourry said, rushing up. Gourry. I don't think I can look him in the eye after *that*. "I don't think you should do that! He's all... fleshy and stuff!"

"Fleshy and stuff?" I sit up and look at my hands. "I'm cured!"

"Well yeah, isn't that what we came for?" Lina asks. "But I mean it, Zel! No going off alone anymore!"

"Yeah, we were worried about you!" Amelia chimes in.

I kind of smiled at that. They were worried about me. Then I notice a wet spot in my pants. I blush harder.

"What?" Lina asks, looking down. Her eyes practically bulge out of her head. "Whaa? We were worried about you and you were down here doing THAT?!"

"N-no!" I stand up, leaping away from her in fear. "It was that thing!" I point over at the stalactite. There it is, still glowing. Huh.

"Oh yeah!" Lina says, stretching her arms out. "I forgot to get my deepest desire fulfilled! Silly me!"

"Uh-oh..." Amelia swallows. "What do you think her deepest desire is?"

"Uh... maybe that's not a good idea," Gourry says.

Or worse... what if it's like mine? "Whoa, hold on Lina!" I say, but it's too late. Lina wraps her arms around the stalactite and kisses it... and backs away, satisfied. She looks around and nods. "Yup, yup, definitely fulfilled!"

"Okay, I give up," I sigh. "What's your deepest desire?"

"Well... eh heh..." She blushes. "To be around my friends for the rest of my life, of course...And long life. Oh, and no messy deaths. Ew."

I grin at that. Ahh, Lina.

I hear a voice, and we all start. "There," said the voice, deep and feminine. "All your desires, granted. Three of the former chimera's. Have a nice life, children." And with that, the stalactite goes out.

"Three?" I blink. "Huh..."

"You must've wished to be with us forever too!" Amelia grins at me. I blush.

Yeah, maybe that was it. Or maybe I was just really, really sexually frustrated. Also very probable.