Author:  Xellas M
Title:  Coffee Flavored Kisses

Hello, minna-san!  I’ve decided I need to take a break from all the depressing, angsty stuff (perhaps permanently) and write a piece of fluff.  Be aware that the following definitely belongs to the “junk food” category of fanfiction.  There are no calories, but plenty of caffeine.

Warnings:  Fluff, Sap, Heavy Citrus, Flesh-Eating Rabbits

Disclaimer:  Given the time, energy and money I’ve spent pursuing this habit I’d have to say that the Slayers own me, not the other way around.

Coffee Flavored Kisses

By Xellas M.

It was exactly one year to the day from the Slayers’ victory over Dark Star.  Zelgadis had rejoined Lina and Gourry, finally giving in to the inevitable after yet another chance meeting.  Amelia was still in Seyruun, doing princessly things with a growing level of competence and grace.  Sylphiel had come out as a lesbian, which surprised no one – her affection for Gourry had always seemed a trifle overdone and those clothes!  She was now living quite happily with Filia, running a small store that sold pottery and herbal teas. 

Xellos had joined Lina, Gourry and Zelgadis, appearing out of the blue several months ago.  At first, his appearance had made the travelers very tense, expecting to have to fight yet another overpowered enemy with the fate of the world hanging in the balance.  But as time passed with hardly even a bandit to fry, they relaxed somewhat, although of course Xellos refused to explain what his purpose was.

Not that they would have believed him if he had explained.  Actually, he was on a leave of absence and was there to indulge in his favorite hobby, chimera baiting, with an option for what he assumed would be an even more entertaining hobby, chimera seducing.  Not that he had gotten very far with the seducing part.  Maybe it was time to change that.  After all, Valentine’s Day, a romantic holiday even older than Xellos himself, was tomorrow.  But how to show the chimera of his dreams that he cared? 

Xellos thought while the rest of the group indulged in their breakfasts, Lina and Gourry having their normal pig-out while Zelgadis quietly sipped coffee in the corner.  Fortunately for Xellos, he had never had too much difficulty coming up with ideas, and the sheer bliss on Zelgadis’ stone face as he sipped his coffee gave the trickster a particularly brilliant idea…

* * * * *

The sun had not even come up yet the following morning when Zelgadis was awakened suddenly from a blissful slumber in a sturdier-than-usual inn bed.  Xellos was levitating horizontally barely a foot above him, sensuous lips curved in the smile which, in the language of Xellos smiles, meant an Even-Higher-Than-Normal-Level-of-Mischief. 

Xellos had hundreds of smiles, each with it’s own special meaning.  The fact that no one had ever been able to interpret them because they all looked almost exactly the same was irrelevant.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Zelgadis-san.”

Zelgadis responded by punching the priest’s face in a friendly manner.

Xellos pouted cutely and retreated a bit.  Standing on the floor next to the shaman’s bed, he indicated a fresh coffee pot.  “Drink this.  I’d like your help, but you’ll need to be verbal.”

Zelgadis raised an eyebrow.  “…?”  He asked, sitting up and pouring his coffee.

“It seems one of Xellas-sama’s lower servants had an unfortunate accident involving a cloning machine.  They’re overrunning Wolf Pack Island and I could use some help getting rid of them.”

Zelgadis took his first sip of the steaming brew.  “Help?  You?”

“I need an extra pair of hands.  Xellas-sama is on vacation and will be very angry if she comes back home to a big mess.  I need to get rid of the duplicates quickly without destroying the island, which is why Lina-san can’t hear about this.”

Zelgadis nodded, even to his caffeine-deprived brain, that made sense.  Plus, it sounded like fun; it had been too long since he’d been able to really cut loose.  Not to mention that having Xellos owe him a favor wouldn’t be a bad thing, either.  He took another long sip of coffee, scalding his tongue but needing to voice his acceptance of the plan.  “Very well.  When do we leave?”

“As soon as you are dressed.”  Xellos gave no indication that he was intending to go anywhere.

“Xellos…”

The Mazoku sighed and disappeared.  Of course, he did not actually leave, not when there would soon be a naked chimera to spy on.

* * * * *

A short time later, Zelgadis was finished dressing and a very happy Xellos was wearing the patented Xellos smile that means I-Have-Seen-the-Chimera-Naked.  It was not the first time he’d worn that particular smile.  Trying to compose himself, he teleported them to Wolf Pack Island.

Things there certainly were a mess.  The miniature Mazoku, which looked like oversized, flesh-eating rabbits, were everywhere, gnawing on everything in their path.  Upon seeing Xellos and Zelgadis, they immediately dropped whatever they were currently chewing in favor of something that looked like it might bleed when bit into.  Of course, the few that got through to the stone-skinned chimera merely broke their teeth on his leg.

Xellos smiled darkly.  Zelgadis smiled darkly.  This was going to be fun.

* * * * *

By the end of the day and after hunting across most of Wolf Pack Island, a tired and happy chimera pulled his enchanted sword out of the final corpse.  “That’s 563 for me to your 562, Mazoku.  You’ve lost.” 

“Yare, yare.  I suppose that means I owe you dinner.”  Although he said this completely offhandedly, things really couldn’t have been going any better for the sneaky priest.

“Did you honestly think I was going to allow myself to become your dinner, Fruitcake?”  The shaman walked over to his companion, broken bunny teeth crunching under his feet with every step.

“Oh, I’m already full, Zelgadis-san.”  Xellos was practically purring, he sounded extremely impressed.  “The way you fight is delicious.”

Against his better judgment, the shaman was flattered.  Power had always attracted him, and for someone like Xellos, who was both incredibly powerful and extremely attractive, to sound so sincere about such a thing was really quite a compliment.  To be blunt, it turned him on.  He felt his face flush.  Then he realized he was blushing, which made him blush even harder.

Temptation reared it’s ugly but very familiar head within the Mazoku’s mind.  ‘Go ahead,’ it whispered enticingly, ‘play with him, just a little.’

‘I can’t.’  Xellos responded plaintively.  He always hated to deny that voice it’s little pleasures. 

“Do you realize you’re muttering to yourself?” the chimera cut in dryly.  Xellos looked up to find the moment had passed and Zelgadis was now eyeing him suspiciously.

This was highly bad form for any self-respecting secret-keeping trickster priest.  It was now Xellos’ turn to squirm uncomfortably, having forgotten how to blush himself about five hundred years ago. 

A few minutes passed in silence, eventually broken by Zelgadis.  “So, what’s for dinner?”

Xellos grinned.  “How do you feel about rabbit?”

* * * * *

Xellos left Zelgadis in Xellas’ library while he ran off to make dinner.  After quickly determining that the library did not have any manuscripts of the Claire Bible, Zelgadis randomly grabbed an thin book left lying on a table, which turned out to be a volume of extremely explicit gay love poetry.

After a surprisingly short time, Xellos went to the library to announce that dinner was ready.  When he saw that Zelgadis had in fact picked up one of the volumes of suggestive literature that had been purposely left lying out, the Mazoku smiled.  When he noticed that the chimera was reading intently, rapt, his breathing harsh and a deep blush working up through his delicate elfin ears, the smile widened to a very special, wicked Xellos smile that means, simply, I-Will-Have-Him.

He phased in right behind Zelgadis and whispered into that pink tinged ear, “Time for dinner, Zelgadis-san!”

The poor chimera jumped three feet straight in the air, slammed the book shut and cursed.  He landed a bit too heavily and the wooden chair he had been sitting on turned into a rather large pile of firewood.

* * * * *

Dinner, as it turned out, was not rabbit.  In fact, Zelgadis was rather relieved to note that there were no meats at all on the small, intimate table.  Not that Zelgadis had anything against meat, but he had been increasingly concerned about what Xellos’ idea of a good steak would be.  Instead, small samples of an extraordinary variety of fruits and cheeses were arranged in an appetizing array.  Three dusty bottles of wine stood in the center and the shaman knew without checking that they were probably examples of the best of their kinds.

Zelgadis was also relieved (or so he insisted to himself) that the table was not candlelit or romantically threatening in any way.  He was beginning to question the Mazoku’s motives.  Xellos was being too nice; there had to be a catch.

“It will be very difficult to eat from across the room, Zelgadis-san.”

Xellos’ voice had interrupted the shaman’s thoughts.  Eyes narrowing suspiciously, he replied “I don’t get it.  What are you up to?”

Xellos smiled his That-Is-A-Secret smile - an old one, but always a favorite.  “I’ll make you a deal.  If you can guess what I’m up to during dinner, I will tell you.”

This was unexpected and could be a lot of fun.  As he walked over and sat down at the table, Zelgadis said “You’ve drugged and/or poisoned the food.”

“Wrong!”

“The wine?”

“Wrong again!” 

That was a relief.  Killing hundreds of flesh eating rabbits had been enough to give even the caffeine-fueled chimera an appetite.  For food.  Only for food.  Not for obnoxiously cute purple-haired Mazoku and damn that book of trashy poetry anyway.  Zelgadis shook away the thought and tried to concentrate on filling his plate with as many different items as possible.  “You are pulling a prank of some kind.”  The shaman stated flatly.

Xellos leaned much more closely over Zelgadis’ shoulder to pour the first glass wine than the action called for and whispered softly into his ear “Wrong again, Zelgadis-san.”  The trickster’s breath sent a shiver down the chimera’s spine.  As he felt a blush heat his stony skin for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, Zelgadis briefly considered asking if the Mazoku was doing that to him on purpose.  Right.  Xellos would probably laugh his head off over that one.

Zelgadis began to eat, forgetting to question the priest for quite awhile out of sheer enjoyment.  The fruits and cheeses were amazing, and even Rezo’s cellar had held nothing to touch the wine. 

Xellos kept silent while his guest ate, lost in the almost pornographic way the shaman was savoring every bite.  When blue eyes flew open, startled at the first taste of the merlot, it was all the priest could do to keep himself from jumping his chimera then and there.  It took him a few minutes to realize Zelgadis had asked him a question.

“I’m sorry, I was…distracted…  Could you repeat that?”

“I asked you if you are trying to get me drunk.”

“Wrong!  Though I take it that means you approve of the wine, Zelgadis-san?”

“It’s amazing.”  Zelgadis stared at his host.  “Are you doing this so that I will go back and tell Lina and make her jealous?”

“No.  There are much easier ways of getting a meal out of Lina-san.  Why would I want to make her jealous?”

“You like her, don’t you?”  The words came out automatically and Zelgadis froze, the ripe strawberry in his hand forgotten.  He hadn’t meant to say that.

This was interesting.  “What makes you say that?” 

Zelgadis felt his ears burning.  Again.  “Well, you look out for her, help her, and you…you kissed her.” 

Xellos was quiet for a moment and the chimera wished the earth would open up and swallow him.  It wasn’t that farfetched of a wish; after all, he had already seen a lot of very strange things happen on Wolf Pack Island.

Then Xellos lost it.  “Oh, my,” he breathed between giggle fits, “that’s…the…funniest…”  Eventually, he calmed down for the most part, only occasionally falling prey to a rogue giggle.  “You call that a kiss?  I was just shutting her up, Zelgadis-san.  I was in danger of becoming too full and you were all so delicious that day.  Have you finished eating?”

Zelgadis nodded, too mortified to speak.  He dropped the forgotten strawberry onto his otherwise empty plate.

It was definitely time to begin making a move.  Xellos snapped his fingers, clearing the table instantly.  He then took out a small bag of chocolate-coated candy.  He put on the smile that meant You’re-Going-To-Love-This…Really and popped on in his mouth.  It crunched.  “Care to try one, Zelgadis-san?”

“What are they?”  Zelgadis was worried.  Dinner was over and he had no clue what the Mazoku was up to.

“Chocolate covered espresso beans.  You have to be careful though, if you eat too many even you will get the jitters.”

Chocolate covered espresso beans?  Zelgadis’ world suddenly gained a new dimension.  His drooping ears perked and embarrassment was forgotten in light of this new, amazing, novel idea.  “That sounds good.”

“You have no idea.” Xellos muttered under his breath. 

“What was that?”

“Oh!  Here you go!”  Xellos quickly pulled a single bean from the bag and handed it over. 

Zelgadis was suspicious, but the bait was too strong.  After all, he hadn’t had a good cup of coffee since early that morning and he could already feel the pressure of an impending caffeine deprivation headache.  He put the candy in his mouth, chewed, and found Heaven. 

Xellos munched a couple of the candies, watching.  It had worked, no question.

The shaman finished chewing and sat for a moment in stunned silence.  This was as good as sex, or at least as good as his recollection of the act which was, admittedly, becoming very vague.  After all, he hadn’t had much time for sexual experimentation before Rezzo had turned him into a monstrosity. 

“So?”  Xellos asked, and immediately popped a whole handful in his mouth.

Zelgadis’ eyes grew into saucers when he saw the Mazoku eat so many at once.  Suddenly he felt his being invaded by the spirit of Lina Inverse.  “Hey!  Don’t eat so many!  Quit hogging!”  he shouted as he reached over to grab the bag out of the trickster’s gloved hand.

“Now, now, Zelgadis-san.  As a Mazoku, caffeine does not affect me.  However, if you were to eat too many of these, you’d be very sick.”  Xellos easily avoided Zelgadis’ attempt to grab the chocolates.

“I don’t care!  Hand them over!”  Zelgadis suddenly chibified, striking his little fists into Xellos’ kneecaps.  The priest sighed, then pulled a single chocolate out of the bag.  He handed it to chibi-Zelgadis, who cackled and ran off into a corner to devour it.  Finished, he returned to normal form and approached the smiling Mazoku.  A brilliant blue chi glow enveloped the shaman as he neared demon guarding the tempting little chocolates.  It quickly faded when the shaman realized that if he Ra-Tilted the Mazoku, it might hurt the candy.  He was at the mercy of the Mysterious Priest.

Xellos pulled another espresso bean from the bag.  This time, however, he quickly hid the remaining beans and placed the one he had selected loosely between his lips.  Catching both the chimera’s hands, he grinned around the bean.

The meaning of this grin was obvious, despite the demon’s closed eyes.  “You can’t be serious.”  Zelgadis growled.  Try as he might, he was unable to free his hands.

Xellos didn’t budge.  It was time to see how far the pretty boy would go for his favorite candy.

Zelgadis wasn’t going to do this.  Absolutely not.  Damn!  If only those things weren’t so -good-.  Oh well, the shaman had never been one to let obstacles stand between him and what he wanted.  Why start now?  Not allowing himself to think about it, he leaned over and lightly covered Xellos’ lips with his own.  For a minute he almost forgot about the candy, thrilled by the feeling of the priest’s warm lips, but then he felt Xellos surrender, chocolate covered caffinated goodness landing in his mouth. 

He pulled back and chewed, letting the rich mixture of flavors calm him down.  His eyes fluttered shut, and when they reopened he found that Xellos now had both stone hands in a single grip, with another piece of candy in his other hand.

Zelgadis struggled but still could not seem to work his way free.  The shaman’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when Xellos shook his head at the shaman and placed the next chocolate -inside- the priest’s mouth. 

A little voice in the back of the chimera’s mind took this opportunity to warn him ‘If you do this, you know you’re screwed, right?’  Zelgadis was too far gone to pay it much attention.  Obviously, Xellos had found out about the shaman’s infatuation and was taking this opportunity to play on those feelings.  If the trickster knew already, he would find a way to get at Zelgadis no matter what; at least this way, the shaman would get to enjoy the chocolate covered coffee pills.  Speaking of which, he’d better get that last one soon, before all the chocolate was gone.

Greedily, he claimed the demon’s mouth again, this time invading his all-too-willing partner’s mouth with his tongue.  Almost at once he found the chocolate and pulled it into his own moth.  He pulled back slightly, leaving maybe in inch between their lips, chewed quickly and swallowed.  His heart was racing - probably from the caffeine, although he had barely even tasted that last candy.  Either way, it was time to get this over with, to give Xellos his chance to laugh so the Mazoku would take him back to the others and leave him alone.

Hesitantly, he closed the slight gap between them to kiss Xellos again.  He started slightly when he felt the priest’s tongue brush his lips, instinctively opening his mouth and reciprocating.  The demon tasted like coffee, chocolate and his own warm spiciness and it was even better than the candy alone had been.  Hungry sounds escaped the back of the shaman’s throat as he devoured that taste.  Xellos dropped the chimera’s hands, using both arms to encircle his partner, pulling them still closer together.  Zelgadis cupped the trickster’s face, kisses growing still more passionate as though the shaman were afraid it would end any second.

Not that that was likely.  Xellos had put a great deal of work into this and he wasn’t about to let his new lover off the hook so easily.  The priest pulled back a little, loving the slight whimper that came from his chimera when he did so.  Not wanting to give the shaman a chance to start thinking and ruin everything, the Mazoku quickly and with amazing dexterity began removing his partner’s beige cloak with one hand while unfastening the buckle on the double sword belt with the other.

“Wait, Xellos, you are crazy if you think I’m going to let you…”  Zelgadis’ began, panicked, but trailed off as he was unable to voice his fear.

“Actually, Zel-chan, I was hoping you would do that to me, if you want to.”  Xellos truly didn’t care who did what to whom as long as everyone ended up smiling.  While he was talking, he succeeded in removing the shaman’s gloves, then stripping off his own.

There wasn’t a thing Zelgadis could say to that.  It was every fantasy he’d ever allowed himself to have, taking Xellos, making the powerful Mazoku need him for release.  He was still trying to come up with some kind of objection when the demon lifted the beige shirt over his head, shredding the material when he pulled it too quickly over the chimera’s wire hair.  When the priest began touching and kissing the exposed flesh, the shaman gave up.

It was a good thing the dining table had been cleared.  Zelgadis practically threw the non-struggling demon on it, only to quickly lift him up slightly.  The priest wore simple clothing and the chimera had every stitch of it removed in record time.  He pressed back down and took a minute to look at his partner, which almost proved his undoing.

Xellos’ eyes were open, their normally clear amethyst clouded and darkened with lust.  His short, silken purple hair was hanging back from his face.  The pale, perfect body stretched out below him was trembling with need, full erection waiting against a perfectly flat stomach. 

Reason gone, even Zelgadis could not have said what exactly happened next.  All he knew was that he was tasting and touching the body that had haunted his dreams, and that Xellos was loving every second of it.  One hand wrapped around the Mazoku’s shaft, squeezing and pulling, while the other hand searched out the demon’s opening. 

“Xellos,” the chimera half moaned, half whispered, “This will hurt…”

“Not this time, Zelgadis-san.”  Xellos snapped his fingers.  This time a small tube appeared in his hand.  “That can be fun, but this first time I want to know what you feel like inside me, without pain.”

The words drove Zelgadis insane.  To be wanted that much, it was almost more than he could bear.  Had Xellos really implied that they would be doing this again?  Zelgadis kissed his partner deeply while taking the lube.  He pulled away and was twisting the cap off when he noticed the label.  He choked.

“Coffee flavored?”  He couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing.  “Let’s just see about that, shall we?”  Liberally, he smoothed the caramel-colored oil onto Xellos’ stir stick of love.  The chimera’s lips followed his hands by a matter of seconds.  The stuff wasn’t half bad, he decided, but Xellos’ own taste once the oil was gone was better by far.  The salty liquid pooling at the tip was the best part, although Xellos’ body in general was delicious.

The priest, tired of the teasing, grabbed Zelgadis’ wire hair and said quietly.  “Enough.  I want you.  Now.”  Not wanting to disappoint, Zelgadis used the remaining oil to prepare them both.  He entered Xellos as gently as he could, after all, the priest had specifically asked for no pain.  It seemed that their definition of pain was somewhat different, for the frustrated Mazoku grabbed his lover’s hips and took control of the situation, thrusting the shaman in so quickly that the aroused chimera almost lost it. 

Natural rhythm established itself quickly as Xellos let go and Zelgadis was free to do what he had wanted to for so long.  With demonic speed and strength, he pounded into his partner until, in a heart stopping moment of bliss and pleasure, they came at the same time.

Zelgadis was still blinking back the funny spots that were floating across his eyes when Xellos recovered enough to teleport them back to his own room.  Snuggling against his lover, Zelgadis was barely aware of his surroundings as he began to drift off to sleep.  Before he could, however, there was one question he needed answered.

“That is what you were doing, wasn’t it?” he asked.

“Hmmm?”   the sleepy voice beside him responded.

“Seducing me.  That’s what this was all about.”

“Did a pretty good job, too, didn’t I?”  Xellos replied as he grinned an open-eyed Xellos smile that meant Damn-That-Sex-Was-Good.

Zelgadis replied with a similar smile, and the pair fell asleep.

Owari

* * * * *

That was much longer than I’d planned, but I think I managed my 0-content goal.  Oh, and I apologize for the stir stick thing; I just HAD to do it.