All the King's Men

Author: ShoSen Title: All the King's Men

Lina walked into the library and stopped. Zelgadiss was gone and Xellos was sitting on the floor and staring at nothing with a slightly confused look on his face.
"Xellos? Where did Zel go?"
"I don't know." He turned to look at her, still confused, and she could see the beginnings of a bruise forming on his cheek, she frowned,
"What happened?"
"He... broke."
"What?" That was not the answer she had expected, and she was fairly certain it didn't explain the bruise on the mazoku's cheek.
"I don't know how to explained it. It felt like a window shattering and then he... I don't understand. I'd need to see him again to be sure, but I don't know where he went, he just ran away."
"Can you find him."
"I can follow the leash if I have to, but I'm not sure I should do that just yet."
She looked at the bruise again, "No, maybe not, come on, let's go get the others, if Zel's taken off, and if something's wrong with him, then we'll have to go looking for him eventually."
"Something is definitely wrong," Xellos said as he stood. "I just don't know what it is, umph!"
Lina turned around, but she was too late, Xellos was gone. She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, she recognised this particular vanishing act. It meant that Zelgadiss had called him, and lately, that was not a good thing for the mazoku priest. Leaving the library quickly she rounded up the others, even through there was nothing they could do now but wait.

Xellos hit the ground roughly, scraping the palms of his hands against the sharp rocks that littered the ground he now lay upon. Wincing, he pushed himself up and looked around the barren landscape searching for Zelgadiss. There was nothing but wind and shadows, except, he stared deeper into one of the shadows and could feel a flood of emotions emanating from it. "Zelgadiss-san?" he asked uncertainly.
"Xellos." Came a bitter reply. It was Zelgadiss' voice, but the tone, the emotions he felt from him, they were cold, heartless, and Xellos was suddenly afraid.
"Zelgadiss-san, what is wrong?"
"Wrong?" Zelgadiss asked, stepping out from the shadows. He had both his hood and mask up, Xellos could only see his cold blue eyes, but he recognised this look, he had seen it quite often during the past few months. "Nothing is wrong Xellos, everything is just right."
"You are not yourself Zelgadiss-san, you haven't been for a long time. What happened to you in the library?"
"I am better than myself Xellos." He said, walking closer to the crouching mazoku. "I am free, finally. I can do whatever I want and not have to worry about that weak, whiney, pathetic--" His voice choked off, and Xellos felt a rush of anger from within Zelgadiss. For a moment, it felt as though there were... two?
"Zelgadiss?" He stood carefully and walked towards the chimera, who had collapsed to his knees. "What is happening?" The anger, the battle within Zelgadiss vanished, replaced by a strange detached calm.
"The barriers are broken. I could not stop it. I could not find my cure in time."
"Barriers?"
"It was your presence. You were the fuel for the battle. I never should have accepted your leash, but that is the past and the past cannot be changed. Now you are mine, and I cannot give you up."
Xellos was at a loss, he didn't understand any of this. He knelt beside Zelgadiss and put a hand on the chimera's shoulder. "Please Zelgadiss, let's go back, you need help." There was another change, and Xellos was hit with a wave of grief.
"I can't go back like this. I don't know what I might do, I can't keep control. I'm sorry Xellos, I shouldn't have brought you here. You have to leave, quickly."
"I can't leave you like this Zelgadiss. Come with me." The change happened before he could react, and Zelgadiss grabbed his arm, pulling Xellos down to the ground in front of him.
"You should have taken the opportunity to run." The chimera hissed as he held Xellos against the ground, his arms crushing the mazoku's shoulders in a rough grip. "You wouldn't have gotten very far, but you could have at least tried. After all, where's your sense of the game?"
"Let me go, you have to come back with me."
"Neither of us are going anywhere. I brought you here, and you're not leaving until I say so. I own you remember."
"Yes." He said weakly, ceasing his struggles. "I remember. It's very hard to forget."
"Hmm, what, no more fighting? That's a disappointment."
"I'll fight if it's what you want."
Zelgadiss just smiled darkly at that comment and reached out to touch the choker, "Yes, you would, wouldn't you. You can't help it."
"No, I can't."
"Is that why you want to help me too?" He asked, gripping Xellos' chin tightly between the fingers of one hand. "So that I'll go back to normal, be quiet and unobtrusive. Be unthreatening?"
"No, that's not why."
"Oh really, then enlighten me, why do you even bother?"
Xellos looked up into Zelgadiss' dark eyes, he could feel the rage within the chimera, but strangely, behind it there was the calmness he had felt before, and the grief. What he'd felt in the library, he'd told Lina it was like a window breaking, what had actually happened?
"Tell me." Zelgadiss snarled, forcing Xellos' thoughts back to the present. He looked into those eyes once again and focused on the source of the grief, within it he also felt, hope?
"It's because," he paused, unsure of his answer. He couldn't lie, but... He concentrated on the hope and looked right into Zelgadiss' furious eyes. "It's because I love you."

He what?
He loves me!
This is unacceptable.
How the fuck could he love me!
Zelgadiss grabbed Xellos by the throat and lifted him into the air, "What?"
"I love you." The mazoku replied, his eyes never leaving Zelgadiss' despite the change in position. "I want to help you."
Don't hurt him anymore!
This situation will cause matters to get worse, it must be remedied.
What the hell does that mean?
He must be removed.
No! I won't do that, I can't.
I won't either, I'm going to break him.
No!
Zelgadiss dropped Xellos suddenly and stumbled backwards a few steps. He looked up at Xellos with pained eyes, "How? How can you love me after what I've done to you?"
"I just do." Xellos replied, getting slowly to his feet and walking towards Zelgadiss warily. "Please, will you let me help you now?"
"Xellos..." the mazoku was now close enough for Zelgadiss to touch, and he did so, pulling Xellos to him and seeking his mouth. "I need you." He whispered before catching him in a pleading kiss.
Don't do this.
Shut up, I need him.
Weak pathetic little shit, you're worthless.
Xellos responded to the kiss with greater enthusiasm than Zelgadiss had been expecting. His hands found the clasp of Zelgadiss' cloak and removed the fabric, letting it fall gently to the ground. When it was gone, he pulled the chimera's shirt up over his head and let his hands play across the stony skin that lay beneath. Zelgadiss moaned at the contact, sinking to his knees and bringing Xellos with him.
Why are you letting him lead?
This will not help, we need to restore the barriers.
Fuck the barriers, I want this to stop.
I don't.
Xellos removed the rest of Zelgadiss' clothes quickly, his hands and mouth caressing the stony skin that was exposed to the cold air. Zelgadiss reached out and untied the sash around the mazoku's waist, letting the breeze catch it as he let go. He then slipped the light black shirt off Xellos' shoulders, running his hands gently down the mazoku's arched back, earning a sigh in response. Moving away momentarily, Xellos slipped his pants off and then returned to Zelgadiss' arms.
Zelgadiss' moaned, feeling Xellos' arousal brushing against his own as the mazoku slid closer. "Xellos, now." He whispered frantically, pulling the mazoku on top of him and wrapping his legs around Xellos' waist.
Don't you even think about it!
You don't have any say in the matter.
"What?" Xellos looked at him surprised.
"Please."
He needed no more encouragement. After sucking on his fingers for a few moments, he slid his hand down Zelgadiss' chest before running it lightly up behind him until he reached the chimera's opening.
"Yes." Zelgadiss whimpered as Xellos' fingers slid into his body, moving in an out of him while searching for the sensitive centre within. "Hurry." Xellos' fingers left his body, and a moment later, the mazoku's shaft was pressed against his entrance.
Yes!
No!
"Now!"
Xellos drove deeply into the chimera's body, filling him with an overwhelming sense of pleasure that only increased as the mazoku retreated and thrust in again. Zelgadiss pulled Xellos to him with his legs and hands, finding the mazoku's mouth just as his release broke over him. Riding on the waves that rocked his body he held tighter to his lover, the only thing he was aware of in that fragmented moment. He felt Xellos stiffen against him as the mazoku reached his own peak, and then they were both still, panting as they held each other tightly.
That will take a lot to repair, you are aware of that, aren't you.
We are all beyond repair now. There is no hope.
Speak for yourselves, I have found my hope.

"There is no hope." Zelgadiss whispered, and Xellos sat up, feeling the detached calm that radiated off of him, the emotions of a moment before now completely subdued.
"Why is there no hope?" He whispered, trying to duplicate that detachment and failing miserably. "You can't give up."
"Everything that happens pushes up farther apart, and still the barriers stay down. We will never come together again, never rebuild the walls, we are doomed."
"We?"
"He should not have accepted your leash. He should not have broken the barriers, this could all have been prevented."
"Zelgadiss-san, please, come back to the inn with me. Perhaps we can find a way to rebuild the barriers."
"Do you think so?" He asked, and Xellos could feel a small measure of hope from the otherwise emotionless chimera.
Chimera...
"Yes, I think so. Please, let me help you." He didn't know what else to do, he didn't understand this yet, though he thought he was fairly close. Thankfully, Zelgadiss rose and dressed quickly now. He was ready at the same time as Xellos, and they returned to the inn where their friends were waiting.
"Xellos!" Lina called, looking at them both worried, "What's happened to him?"
"I don't kn--" His words were cut off as Zelgadiss suddenly threw him against the wall of the room.
"Traitor." He hissed, "I turn my back and you leave, though I ordered you not to." The leash appeared in his hands, and Xellos watched as a bolt of energy ran down the slender, silver wire. "Suffer the consequences." Zelgadiss said coldly as the pain spread through Xellos' body from his neck down. He closed his eyes against it, hardly feeling it as he sank to the ground.
He wasn't sure what transpired between then and when feeling finally returned to his limbs, but when he looked up, the wire had vanished, Zelgadiss was lying unconscious on the ground, and Amelia was standing above him looking very unimpressed.
"We should restrain him." She said in the silence that followed, everyone agreed, and between them they managed to get the chimera up to his room and strap him to the bed.
Chimera... Human... Demon... Golem...
"I think I know what has happened." Xellos said as they looked down at their friend.
"What?" Lina asked as they all turned their attention to him instead.
"I told you that it felt like his mind had shattered, I think that is exactly the case. Somehow, whatever kept the three parts of himself working together has disappeared, and they are all working on their own."
"So the one downstairs?"
"Was the demon, I believe the one that agreed to come was the golem. The human, well, he's feeling a little guilty right now. The only thing I don't understand..."
"What?"
"He kept saying the barriers needed to be repair, but how can barriers be needed to help keep him together?"
"Maybe they aren't." Amelia mused, "I mean, that would just put him back where he was, and we don't want this happening again. I think something new needs to be done."
"Any suggestions?" Lina asked the group, there was silence again. "All right, we need to really think, and that means we need food. I'm going downstairs to the dining room, you coming?"
Xellos declined, but the other two followed the redheaded sorceress out of the room. Xellos watched Zelgadiss sleep as the light in the room slowly faded. The chimera looked very peaceful in the moonlight, but the appearance was deceptive. Xellos could still feel the battle that was being waged within him, the three parts of his personality fighting against one another. So long as they continued in that manner, Xellos didn't think there was any chance that they could save him. As Xellos watched, Zelgadiss' eyes fluttered open and he found himself gazing at the angry eyes of the demon. Without saying anything, he strained against the bonds that held him and found that they were magically charmed. He focused his gaze on Xellos,
"Remove them."
Xellos complied, he had no choice, and soon Zelgadiss was free and standing beside him. With a smirk, he placed one hand on Xellos' shoulder and shoved the mazoku down onto the bed, tying him with the recently removed bonds.
"You shouldn't have disobeyed me." He said, drawing his hand down Xellos' chest lightly, opening the silk shirt to bare his chest. "I did not want to return here." Xellos said nothing, just looked up at him as Zelgadiss began to trace the lines of his chest with his finger. "What am I going to do with you?" Despite himself, Xellos began to shudder. The reaction merely brought a dark smile to the chimera's lips.

He still fears me, good.
I don't want him to fear us, he wanted to help.
Are you on his side now?
We both know that what you are doing is wrong, can't you see it?
I'm not wrong! I'm going to make him hate me.
Why?
What?
Why is that so important to you?
It... it...
"Shut up!" Zelgadiss screamed, clutching at his head before looking up at the restrained mazoku again. With a snarl he drew his hands roughly down Xellos' chest, watching as the trails slowly filled with dark coloured blood. He grabbed the mazoku's soft hair and pulled Xellos' head back, exposing the flesh of his pale neck, which he began to bite along with precision.
You're enjoying this way too much.
Stop doing this, he loves us.
No, he doesn't he can't!
But he does, he said so.
He's lying, he can't love me.
Is that what you're afraid of?
"I'm not afraid!" he yelled, looking up into Xellos' eyes. He froze, the mazoku was looking at him with compassion. Compassion. "Stop looking at me like that."
"Zelgadiss-san--"
"Why don't you hate me?"
Accept it, he loves you as much as he loves us.
We can fix what has happened.
No, I won't!
We can help you; I can make you see that this is not what you want.
How do you know what I want?
you are a part of me.
i am not.
"I am not, I can't, I--" his words broke off and he collapsed on top of the still bleeding mazoku.
why do you fight this?
i don't... stop
i am not going to i don't want this i want to repair the damage that was done i don't want to loose control it will be regaining control itwillnotbe itwillbe idontunderstand withoutmeihavenocontrol ihavenocontrolwithoutiseethisiswhatwasdamagediammyselfagainiamiamiamiamiamimustfixthis
Zelgadiss sat up, blinking his eyes momentarily, and then looked down at Xellos again, his gaze drawn to the ten marks draw along the mazoku's chest. "Xellos!" He pulled the restraints off the mazoku and held him gently, running his fingers along the marks, seeing them heal at the soft touch.
"Zelgadiss-san? You are well again?"
Zelgadiss smiled, "Yes Xellos. I am, I am myself again."
Xellos sighed and relaxed into the hold. "I am glad."
Zelgadiss ran his hand slowly along the silver choker around Xellos' neck. "You should have been angry."
Xellos smiled, "I never said I wasn't angry Zelgadiss-san, I only said that I loved you. The one does not exclude the other."
"No it doesn't, does it. Still..." Focusing on the metal for a moment, Zelgadiss took the band between his fingers and felt it shatter. "You might as well be free to yell at me."
"Zelgadiss-san?" he looked surprised.
"I don't want you as a slave Xellos."
Xellos looked at him uncertainly, "Then what do you want me as Zelgadiss-san?"
Zelgadiss brushed his hand down along Xellos' throat, "As whatever you want to be."
Xellos smiled as he considered it for a moment, then looked up at Zelgadiss with questioning eyes, "And if I want to be your lover?"
"Then I want to be yours."
"Zelgadiss-san?"
"I love you Xellos, you have more of an effect on me than I ever imagined anyone having. This can't have been easy on you, if you want to be with me, then I want to be yours more than anything else."
Xellos smiled with joy, throwing his arms around Zelgadiss' neck, kissing him passionately. "I belong to you Zelgadiss-san, even without the choker, it might be fun to have you belong to me for a while as well."
"Forever Xellos, not for a while." Zelgadiss whispered, pulling him close.
"Forever." Xellos whispered back with a pleased sigh and let himself rest against his lover. "Oh!" he sat up suddenly.
"What is it?" Zelgadiss asked, concerned.
"We better tell them you're all right, Lina-tachi is quite worried about you Zelgadiss-san."
"They're eating." Zelgadiss muttered, "They won't be worrying about me again until the foods gone, let them wait."
With a laugh Xellos laid down again, "True, well, we can tell them soon enough."
"Hmm." Both of them fell silent then, and held each other as they waited for their friends to return.

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