Dramata Kurage! Chapter - 19

Author: Omoni , Kawaii Gourry Title: Dramata Kurage! - Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.

19.0
I guess I didn't really appreciate the comment about the bad timing it getting injured. I didn't appreciate that one bit and so I made sure I let Lina know that. If I was being honest though I really wasn't as angry as I thought I would be with that comment. I was more frustrated with the situation, I didn't mean to get hurt but at least I was still alive. I was distracted slightly as she threw her arm over my shoulder. I was distracted because despite her gentleness, it still hurt.
“We'll get to a healer, and fix you all up.” She told me but my eyes were concentrated on the boss that I had knocked out.
“I'm with you on that, but what about him?” I pointed at the guy lying on the ground. I was really angry at this guy for all the trouble he put us through, just because Lina took some treasure from him. Although from some of the conversation I had gathered, it seemed more that higher powered mazoku were being involved. My concern was that I wondered if he had any information we could take from him. Also he was just lying around on the ground and I knew if we did nothing, he would just recover only to bother us again.
Lina really didn't seem concerned about him though and that in turn concerned me. She then grabbed onto my armour to pull me up to stand and I realised then how weak I was. I found myself having to lean a lot of my weight on Lina which I was scared of doing. I gritted my teeth a little to fight back some of the pain. But instead of Lina answering my question, she wanted to know how I was feeling. I didn't really want to tell her I was in agony and worry her, so I just nodded my head to say I was ok. I don't think she really believed me though.
Then she asked me about a healer and I really wasn't too happy about it considering our last encounter with some healers. However I had to take into account of the situation at hand. I wasn't able to heal myself and Lina was in no position to do it. I had to realise what the situation was and reluctantly I agreed to it. However I kind of felt I wanted some sort of favour returned and so I turned the subject back to the guy still passed out on the ground.
Her response kind of surprised me but as I thought about it more, I kind of realised she was giving away a lot more than she anticipated. She didn't care about the leader, because she was more worried about me. She went on and told me about what she wanted to do, and inside I was happy to hear her say it. I agreed with her and with that we headed on down the street.
As we walked I realised that I didn't really know where a healer's was but I found out that we weren't going to a healers and instead she was taking me back to the inn. I was kind of surprised at first but it just made me realise that she was more worried about me. I was trying my best not to lean too much weight on Lina, but she was having none of it and pulling me back down against her. I was frustrated because a couple of the times she did it, I nearly lost my balance. In the end I just gave up and kept my weight on her because I thought if I kept going, I was really going to fall and take her with me and also because I was just worn out with all the effort of trying to keep my weight off her.
Lina helped me into the inn and lead me back to the room. Then helping me into the bed she covered me up and promised me that she would be back. I didn't want her to go though, for some reason I just wanted her to stay with me. My eyes widened however when I saw the deep gash in her neck that was bleeding quite freely. I tried to bolt up out of the bed but doing so caused immense agony and I only ended up collapsing back into the bed and passing out from the pain.
I woke up after some time, how long I had no idea, and I don't even remember dreaming. I still felt absolutely worn out and kept my eyes closed but I was conscious of being awake. I felt a gloved hand hold my own and instinctively I squeezed it, feeling comforted by someone being there, that someone I assumed was Lina.
“…Lina….” I groaned slightly and I felt the hand squeeze back. The squeeze was slightly sharp though, as though it was a shocked reaction. I opened my eyes slowly and didn't recognise the person I saw at first, but memories quickly came flooding back and suddenly I began blushing slightly at my reaction.
“Gourry-sama. It's so good to see you!” Sylphiel then leaned down and hugged me tightly. I blushed again and felt a little worried about the way she was hugging me, suddenly wondering where Lina was, which was my next question.
“Where's Lina?” I asked and I saw her eyes lose a little bit of shine. Suddenly I felt bad for not asking how she was, but Lina was my main priority, because I was her protector, and because of the feelings I held for her that I didn't have for anyone else.
“She's in the room next door resting. She lost a bit of blood from the cut in her neck and was weakened by it. She stayed here waiting to see if you were ok, but she collapsed not long after I finished healing you. She's ok though; she's fine and needs a bit of rest, just as you do.”
“I can't leave her alone, she might be in trouble.” Immediately I began sitting up, but tiredness took me over before I could get up. Sylphiel also made sure I wasn't get up, pushing me back down.
“Please Gourry-sama, you really need to rest. If you over exert yourself, the time for you to recover will take longer.” She demanded. The tone of her voice was something I wasn't really used to hearing before, a bit more aggressive which I'd never known Sylphiel to be like before. I looked up to her a little surprised, and I could see in her eyes that she had matured a little in the past few years since we last met.
“How did you get here, Sylphiel?” I asked her, the question suddenly on my mind, since I was now surprised to see her on a new continent, never really thinking she would stray far from Sairaag.
“Well I wasn't really doing a lot back home and I heard that healers were needed here. I guess I wanted to have a change of scenery and start anew. There were a few bad memories I wanted to leave behind and so I figured this was the best place to do so.”
I nodded slowly in response and I was reminded of the tough time that Sylphiel had to live with, what with her father dying, only for him to return as a puppet. Also ever since I returned with Lina from the Sea Of Chaos, she seemed a bit more distant from me. I wondered if that was a good thing with the way she used to always look up to me as something I never was. I could never tell her anything different though because she was always so kind and caring to me.
It made me feel guilty because of my feelings over Lina that I knew Sylphiel wanted me to have for her. I always felt that Sylphiel thought of me as someone I never was, and I couldn't really live up to that reputation she was holding me up to. I guess I was worried that she would finally realise who I was and I would shatter that dream of hers. Lina wasn't like that and I knew she took me for who I was which is why I found myself drawn to her more than Sylphiel.
It still didn't make me feel any better though knowing how well she looked after me and how well she cared for me, and she really was such a great cook! It was a little nice to be looked up to in such a way but that wasn't who I really was. I felt Sylphiel deserved someone who would live up to that reputation of hers.
I looked up to her once more and I could see it more so in her eyes that things had changed slightly in her. I turned away and looked to the wall feeling a little helpless in the bed and guilty for worrying more about how Lina was and not really appreciating that fact that Sylphiel was around and took care of me once again like she had done so many times before with little or no repayment to her.
Kurage

19.1
Sadly, it's true. I held out for as long as I possibly could, swaying a little on the spot, as I watched Sylphiel hold her hands over Gourry's wounds. When she finally pulled her hands back and gave Gourry the finally look-over, I was overwhelmed with relief. He would finally be okay, and I didn't have to worry anymore.
I hobbled over to Sylphiel's side, looking over her shoulder to get a closer look at him. He seemed much better now. He wasn't as pale as before, and he looked to be sleeping comfortably.
“Thanks, Sylphiel,” I said quietly. I didn't look at her, but I could feel her gaze on me. I didn't want to see her expression, and frankly, I didn't want to meet eyes with her. I was worried my eyes would give away way too much.
It's not that I don't like Sylphiel. On the contrary, I think she's great. She's a good healer, a good friend, and she's full of surprises. I just wasn't ready to face her yet, with what would inevitably upset her, after what a wonderful help and a lifesaver she had been.
Of course, I would never claim Gourry to be my own. He was free to be with whoever he wanted. But I don't share. Ever. And I would never share Gourry with anyone. I just hoped HE knew that, too. With Sylphiel around, he might end up being caught up in whatever past they had had together and not remember that hey, I'm still here, too.
Of course, I brought none of this up with her. I didn't say a word. To be truthful, I could hardly keep my eyes open, and I didn't even notice I was in freefall until I felt Sylphiel catch me and call my name in a worried voice.
“Mmmergh,” I answered, my eyes still shut. “I'm fine. I just need a bed…”
I leaned heavily against her as she helped me walk next door. I wasn't even sure if the room was being used; I had my eyes shut the whole time. I was too weary to even care about it, let alone notice anything. I pulled away from her and curled down into the bed I felt was there. You have no idea how wonderful it felt to do that. I was so tired, and so sore, all over.
I was already half-asleep when I heard Sylphiel's voice chanting. I couldn't figure out what the hell she was saying to me until I felt the coolness of a healing spell wash over my neck.
Oh, right, that.
I mumbled, trying to get her to go away and check on Gourry, but the words were lost in my throat, and I ended up falling asleep. I didn't want to fall asleep, I wanted to stay awake and stay with Gourry. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was the possessive side of me, wanting to make sure that he wouldn't try to backstab me while I was sleeping. Maybe it was to reassure myself that he would never do any such thing. All I know is, it wasn't the most honourable of reasons.
But I did fall asleep, and I did dream. Again. It was that same dream AGAIN.
Or at least, it started out that way.
I stood alone, on the field, and everything happened the same way it did before, only this time, the sound wasn't enough to awaken me, and I could see what happened beyond it. I saw nothing but darkness for a while, but slowly, thins came into focus, as if someone was controlling the level of darkness.
I squinted in the darkness, keeping myself still. I had no idea what would be there, and I didn't want to risk getting injured before I found out. (Yep, even in dreams I have common sense.) I was so focused on what was ahead of me that the flash of movement I felt behind me caught me off guard so much that I didn't even realize I was in an arm lock until I heard myself squeak.
“Oy,” I hissed, trying to twist around and see who was behind me. “Off.”
I couldn't see who was behind me, but something felt familiar about it all. Everything. The setting. The air. Even the person behind me. No matter how much I tried to glance back, however, I could not see them, and they were much stronger than me, so I couldn't squirm away.
So instead, I looked ahead of me, trying to figure out where the hell I was. Slowly, it all came into focus, and I wasn't feeling very feisty anymore. In fact, I felt sick to my stomach, and I felt myself break out into a sweat.
It was my old room. On Wolf Pack Island.
You see, the dream was SO REAL, that at that moment, I thought I actually WAS there. I could smell the old smells, hear the old sounds, feel the old feelings. It was all there. Dreams can be so deceptive sometimes, and I knew that this was true. Even in the dream, I knew it was true. But it just didn't register. I was so convinced that I had come back.
I panicked. I knew who was holding me now, and I didn't want to be held. I knew what would be next. I tugged and cursed and raged, trying to get out of the grip that held me. I think at one point I even bit, but I'm not too sure on the details.
Nothing would faze him, though. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew it was Xellos. And no matter how hard I fought, he wouldn't let go.
Just as I was starting to feel on the brink of insanity, I was suddenly free. Xellos was gone, and I wasn't held anymore. In his place was a thin, raggedly-looking black wolf. I stared, trying to catch my breath, puzzled at the sight. The wolf blinked at me slowly, demurely, and I blinked back, confused.
I don't know how long we stood there with our gazes locked, but it must have been a while, because it sure as hell scared me when he suddenly leapt up from the ground, claws out and teeth bared. I shrieked and dropped down to the ground, thinking that he was aiming for me, but he in fact sailed past me. When I looked up, what I saw made me scream out.
The wolf had, in fact, landed on Gourry, who somehow had been right behind me the whole time. And the wolf had been aiming for him, and hadn't missed. In fact, the moment I turned was the moment the wolf leaned down and ripped out Gourry's throat.
The scream I heard tearing my own throat woke me up. I gasped, kicking and flailing my arms, unsure of where I was, only seeing darkness. I got tangled in the sheets and ended up falling off the bed. The thump that the landing gave me woke me out of my sleep-induced state of panic, but I still felt the fear and sorrow coursing through me.
I then did something very embarrassing, even to this day. I curled up into a ball amidst the sheets and burst into tears.
The combination of emotional rages and the sights of the dream were enough to set me off into this state of chaos. I buried my face into the thin cotton sheet I was so entangled in and let loose, soaking it with my own tears and snot.
You have to understand something, here; I had really thought the dream was real. I had really thought that what had happened was happening at that precise moment. And what I had seen was Gourry being killed, brutally, by a freaking Xellos-wolf. If you think my reaction was over the top, you obviously have no idea what it's like to have a dream like that. It breaks you. It tears down your shields and makes you a blubbering, weak little child.
So I just lay there, choking a little on my own phlegm, praying that no one heard me, although I'm not an idiot. I knew that someone must have heard me, if not from the screaming, then from the falling off the bed. Either way, I didn't care anymore. I couldn't erase the images from my mind, no matter how hard I tried, and it scared me so badly it's hard to describe unless you've been there.
And I really hope no one else has been there.
Dramata

19.2
I guess I fell asleep at some point, making me realise that I still was pretty tired despite feeling much better. I knew I fell asleep because I knew I was in a dream. It's not easy being able to tell it's a dream sometimes when your dreams show you things which seem so real, but when you see yourself down below you whilst you're somehow floating in the air, well then you kind of realise it must be a dream.
I could see myself fighting below me, and as I watched I realised that this was me from some time ago, before I met Lina, and before I had taken the Sword Of Light. I was fighting but I couldn't see what I was fighting, and all of the surroundings were black. It was as though everything was being covered up apart from just me. I watched closer and slowly began to realise that this was me fighting in the war. Everything seemed right, from the way I looked, the clothes I was wearing and the way I was fighting. I must have been attacking many enemies.
That was when the surroundings quickly came into view and it horrified me. It was a massive battleground with dead bodies strewn everywhere. A lot of the ground was covered in red with the blood of those that had died and for some reason the dark grey sky was reflecting that slightly and so had a faint red tint to it. Looking around, I remembered that as I fought I felt like I was in the middle of hell. I didn't want to look anymore but something wouldn't let me look away, forcing me to continue to watch the scene. I could see myself closer now and I could see the mix of anger and fear in my eyes. I was fighting with all I had, just to stay alive because I didn't want to die, not in this hell place.
I then suddenly stop fighting because I didn't have any more enemies to attack but I knew the battle wasn't over. I looked around or I watched my younger self look around and I could see the terror on his face, on my face. I knew why he was looking like that and I didn't want to be reminded of it but I was being forced to.
I changed point of view and I was in the body of my younger self and the scenes were unfolding right infront of my eyes, those scenes that I tried to erase from my mind. I watched all of my close friends that I had made as we trained together all being killed off one by one and all I did was stand there frozen stiff in shock and fear as I watched them die.
I dropped the sword to the ground and held my bloody hands up to my face and collapsed to my knees. I could hear their screams of pain ringing through my mind. I heard them shout my name for help but I did nothing because I was too scared to do anything anymore. I just knelt there a scared quivering wreck who was too scared to even protect the ones I cared about. Then I felt the bloody smack across the back of my head which knocked me out.
I woke up with a startle; breathing heavy and immediately I reached up to the back of my head where I felt myself being hit. So much for remembering that it was a dream, I guess it was because it turned too really pretty quickly. I felt the gloved hand held onto my own and turned to see Sylphiel asleep in the chair holding onto my hand in the darkness of the night.
I smiled a little towards her, for caring about me still after all this time and that's why I was finding it so difficult to tell her that I didn't have those same feelings towards her that I could tell she had for me. I slowly pulled my hand away from hers and place it back on her lap. I then slowly shifted my legs out of the bed and placed my booted feet on the floor. I was glad I wasn't changed into something whilst I was out of it!
I tested my strength by standing up slowly, and found that I was ok although still kind of wobbly. Then I heard the scream from next door and a thud. I knew straight away it was Lina and so I raced out of the room and into the next one, almost smashing the door down because of the fear that Lina was being attacked. Lina looked up at me in shock and her eyes were raw red and her cheeks were stained with tears. She was in a clump of mess on the floor, all curled up in the blankets which came with her as she fell off the bed.
I raced to her side to check she was ok but she just grabbed onto my tightly and pulled herself into my chest like it was some comfort and she started crying into my chest. I was scared and wondered what had made her feel this way, I wanted to know what happened but all I could do for now was to just hold onto her tightly. I rocked her slowly to try and calm her down, my hand on the back of her head as she sobbed into my tunic.
I'd never seen Lina like this before and that's why I was scared. I'm not sure how long we were like that for but I think with my gentle rocking and holding onto her, it slowly calmed her down and slowly she stopped crying. Her shoulders also stopped shaking and slowly I pulled her away from me so I could take a good look at her.
I could see in her eyes that she was scared by something, as though it really rattled her. It must have been really bad for it to affect Lina like this and I wanted to find out what it was but I don't think now was the time. I reached up to gently touch her face, and caress her cheek. My thumb reached up slightly to wipe away the remnants of her tears whilst the whole time I looked deep into her eyes.
“I don't know what scared you Lina, but you should realise that I'm always going to be here for you to protect you.” I whispered to her softly. “I'm not leaving you for anything because I'm always going to be with you no matter what. Nothing is going to take me away from you. I will always protect you.”
I told her these words to try and help her calm down, I wanted to make her feel safe with me. I also said those words as a self confirmation. I know in the past I froze in those situations, but I learnt from those mistakes. I lost a lot of close and dear friends in that war, mostly because I wasn't strong enough to protect them. Now that I had learnt from that situation, I was going to protect Lina, because now I was stronger, and also because I cared for her so very dearly.
I pulled her back into me and hugged her tightly, my head pressed lightly against her head and I felt her arms wrap back around me and return the hug just as tightly. In that moment I felt everything was ok, the mistakes that I had made in the past faded from my mind in that embrace with Lina, and I think whatever scared Lina was fading from her mind too.
I pulled away again but this time not as far because I leaned back in to kiss her gently. I reached a hand up to cup her face and felt her soft lips press against my own, her gentle breathing tickling me slightly through her nose. Every time I kissed her like this, I'm reminded of how much I love to do it. I then deepened the kiss slightly, feeling her lips part as I explored her mouth with my tongue and felt hers slightly fight back against my own.
I found myself pushing myself against her now, because I found the soft kiss we just began was turning into something a little more. Maybe it was because of my dream or because of what Lina had just gone through but I just cherished her more for who she was. I took a hold of her hand and brought it to my face, then rested her hand against my cheek, my own hand held on top of hers.
I could feel the breathing through her nose quicken and get stronger, and I knew my own heart was beating quicker. I took a hold of Lina and pulled her up onto the bed, laying her down gently, and I lay on top of her. I kissed her deeply once more before I began moving down to her neck and kissed her there, slightly nipping at the soft skin. I found my hand wandering down to her chest and began rubbing her, trying to feel her through her clothes.
“Gourry-sama?” My whole body froze because I knew immediately who that was. I looked down at Lina with my eyes wide and I had no idea what we were supposed to do.
Kurage

19.3
It was humiliating at first. I was mortified to see Gourry in the doorway. I opened my mouth to say something, to maybe tell him to go away, but I couldn't. I couldn't. I was too grateful to see him. I could tell he knew it, and he came right over to me, and well...you know the rest.
I couldn't control it, anyways, even if I had tried to. It just erupted out of me. I had thought that all of my tears were gone, but nope, as soon as Gourry had his arms around me, a whole new barrage of them came. I clung onto him, holding onto him tightly, while I cried, and he held me, comforting me. I knew it was scaring him, and I felt bad for that, but at that moment, it wasn't like I could control it, anyways.
It all adds up, you know. The pain a person can feel, the emotional distress, the anger, the humiliation. When you bury emotions down, as I so often do, they don't go away; they add up. I think, although I'm not sure, that my crying like that was a result of it, as well as the dream.
Gradually, I tired myself out, and I felt much better, although damn, I felt tired. When Gourry said the things he said, I wondered what the meaning was. I wondered where it had come from. But when he kissed me, I was so upset, so shaken, and so needy for affection from him that I forgot, and I kissed him back, clinging back onto him again.
It was like a desperate need I had never had before. It was emotional, it was physical, it was everything. Gourry was there, he was with me, he was kissing me, and I needed it. I needed more. It lit me up, made me warm all over, sent jolts into my tummy and I still wanted and needed more.
I don't think he realized just how terrified I had been. I don't think even I realized it. But I understood then, because I didn't want him to go away. I wanted to get close, closer, as close as possible. Call it what you want. Call it desperation, call it arousal, whatever. The point is it was how I felt. And when he pulled me up on the disheveled, dream-beaten bed and lay on me, I knew he felt the same things I did, too, and not only that, he understood my needs, too.
Oh, his hands are so wonderful, I was thinking to myself when I felt his hand on my breast. Oh, so wonderful. There is never a feeling identical to this, ever—
And hell, that was true. Because at that moment, that was when we both heard the startled “Gourry-sama?” from the doorway. Gourry instantly froze, and I froze myself, feeling that adrenaline feeling a person gets when clearly you've been busted in something you don't want to be busted doing.
There was this horrifying long moment when none of us moved, including Gourry's hand on my breast, and my own hands on his back. Then, suddenly, at the same time, both of us jerked away from eachother pulling back. My face was on fire. I was so embarrassed, not only for myself, but for Sylphiel, too. This was not the way I wanted her to find out.
I looked up slowly, and saw that she was crushed. Her eyes were huge, and her mouth was open, and I could see that in the depths her eyes were already starting to brim with tears. She stood there, trembling on the spot, staring at the both of us.
I opened my mouth to say something, and only a croak came out. Not only was my voice sapped from tears and previous passion, but I couldn't think of anything to say. At all. I felt terrible.
“Sylphiel,” Gourry began, his voice quiet. She jumped and turned to him, her eyes bleeding betrayal. But I could tell that Gourry didn't have anything else to say. He couldn't think of what to say.
“Sylphiel,” I echoed, this time finding my words. She turned to me, her eyes narrowed, but not angry, oddly enough. “I'm sorry,” I said this honestly. “I didn't think there would be any reason to tell you before, but clearly I was wrong.”
I paused, and she stared at me in silence. “I don't think either of us meant to hurt you, Sylphiel. We both care a great deal about you, and we're so grateful for you helping us. I'm grateful for what you did for both me and Gourry. Please, please don't be angry.” I pleaded.
Now, this was a stupid thing for me to say. Of course she was going to be angry. Whether it was at me or at herself I'll never know, but generally, when you tell people “not to be” something, they end up being that something anyways. And if you think about it from her perspective, I just stole her future husband.
So you can imagine my dumbfounded surprise from what she said next. “Lina-san,” she snapped, her hands on her hips, her voice hoarse. “You tell me not to be angry, but how can I not be? Years ago I had thought maybe there was something going on, but you proved me wrong. You told me you only wanted his sword. I thought, alright. So I decided that once we parted, I would learn the Dragon Slave, so that maybe I could surprise Gourry-sama and impress him. Of course, it turns out that I find you at a time when you need to save him. YOU need to save HIM. So I thought, alright, I'll come along, and maybe when Gourry-sama sees me helping you, he'll realize how much I love him and see how serious I am.”
Ouch.
“Of course, that didn't happen. He chased after you, and then something happened, no one knows what, but it seemed like everything was back to normal when you came back. So I thought, perfect, Gourry-sama is still available. So I went home, started working on the town, and before I knew it, two years had passed and I had no idea what was going on.”
Uh oh. I snuck a peek at Gourry, and saw that he was sitting rigid, listening.
“So I followed rumours about where you were, Gourry-sama, and during that time got held up with a few things, healings and helping out, the like. After a while I lost track, and was so caught up that I didn't have time to catch up. And it was only luck that brought you here. And when I saw Lina-san, I thought, this is wonderful! Finally I can be honest. But there wasn't a time for honestly because you were both injured so badly.”
Crap.
“And then I wake up, just now, to find you gone, Gourry-sama, and to find, well..." Sylphiel gestured to the two of us, reddening slightly. “...you know what you were doing! And you expect me to be okay? You expect me not to be angry Lina-san?”
This was all said quietly, with force, but not shouting. I think it was her equivalent of shouting. Either way, when her gaze met mine, I felt nothing but guilt.
“Of course I'm angry. And you're stupid if you think, and expect, otherwise.”
With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room.
“Ah, crap...” I sighed.
Dramata

19.4
Well what was I supposed to say in that situation? I kind of knew what Sylphiel felt for me, but I never had the heart to tell her that I didn't feel the same way. However I was I supposed to say what my true feelings were? I didn't know what they were and I just found the whole thing really confusing. When I last saw Sylphiel, I knew that I really cared for Lina but I didn't know if that meant I cared for her in a loving way or in a friend/protector way. Sylphiel stormed away and left me with Lina alone where we sat in silence on the bed.
I reached a hand over and grabbed onto Lina's hand gently but I didn't look at her, and instead I was too busy looking down at the bed I was sat on, making some of the hair that hadn't been braided to fall over my eyes. I squeezed gently and then took a deep breath.
“This is my fault Lina. So I have to speak with her.” I said softly and quietly. The problem was I didn't know what to say, but I figured just being honest was the best way to sort things out. I got up from the bed and leaned back down for a moment to give Lina a soft gently kiss on the cheek, with a hand caressing her cheek.
“You should try and get some more rest. I love you, Lina…” I then smiled to her softly as I brought the covers back up and placed them over her, tucking her in to the bed. “This might take a bit of time.” I then left Lina alone in the room as I went to find Sylphiel.
My first thought was my room which still had some of her things and my guess proved right as it seemed as though she was gathering her things, but then I realised as I got closer that she was sobbing, the telltale sign being her shoulders shaking. More waves of guilt flowed through me as I watched her there like that. I entered the room and closed the door behind me, the sound of that making her jump a little. She turned and looked at me with tear-filled eyes but I had to make things straight.
“Why did you lie to me Sylphiel?” She looked at me confused at first but I wasn't having it. “You lied to me before. You told me you came here to start a new life, but you've just told Lina now you came here to find me. Why did you lie to me? Why did you go in there and make Lina feel bad when you didn't even tell me the truth of why you're here in the first place.”
She seemed genuinely surprised towards me and realised that she was caught out. She then turned away from me, not wanting to look at me anymore.
“I was too scared to tell you of the real reason why I came here.” She replied meekly. I took a nearby chair and sat down on it, sighing slightly.
“Don't you think that's how Lina and I felt about telling you what we meant to each other?”
“Why her Gourry? Why did you pick her over me? She's only ever been mean to you, never cared about you the way I have. I looked after you all those years ago, and I've done nothing but look up to you. She's greedy and selfish only wanting you for your sword and nothing else. She's always putting you down and mocking you.”
I resisted the temptation to yell at her despite her being pretty firm with me then. I was angry with her for being so closed-minded about Lina, just as many have been closed-minded about me.
“How can you say that about her Sylphiel? You really want to know why I picked her? I picked her because she loves me for who I am. The forgetfulness, the blunt honesty I have. She loves every single bit of me that I actually am. I don't know why Sylphiel, but you make me out to be someone I'm not. You hold me up to this reputation of the Swordsman of Light, which I don't even deserve. I didn't earn the Sword of Light; it was never given to me. I stole it.”
Sylphiel looked shocked at me, and I felt like I was beginning to break down her illusions of me.
“My family fought over that sword for as long as I've known. Even when I came back from the war, they were still fighting about it, so I did the only thing I thought would make them stop. I took the Sword of Light and I ran away with it. I thought if it wasn't there, then they would have nothing to fight about. So you see, I never deserved that sword, and so I don't deserve the title.”
I saw her looking down and could see her eyes filling once more with tears.
“You're a dear friend to me Sylphiel. You're right in that you've done nothing but be good to me and I really do appreciate that. I will never forget what you did for me, but I don't love you. I love Lina.”
I quickly knelt down and wrapped my arms around Sylphiel, because I couldn't stand her being upset anymore, it was hurting me to make her feel like this. So I held her close to me and did my best to comfort her.
“I don't deserve you anyway Sylphiel. I'm not the right person for you, I swear what Lina does to me is nothing compared to anyone else who would have to live with me for a long period of time. I promise you that there is someone out there who will love you just as much, if not more than you will love that person. That man will protect you and look after you, just as you will protect and look after him.”
I felt her hand reach up to grip mine softly, but I just kept my arms around her until I felt that she would be ok. She seemed to calm down a little but she seemed a little shaky still and so I didn't want to leave her alone like that. I wished there was more I could do to make her feel better, and I still felt guilty for how she had to find out about how I felt about Lina. I still felt like I had to tell her more things.
“I understand why you feel angry but we never really learnt of how we felt about each other until a few weeks ago. There was nothing that we could have told you before now.”
“So why didn't you tell me when you woke up after I healed you.”
I was stumped a little there but those thoughts of being scared to tell her came to mind.
“I wasn't really thinking about that at the time, and I was a little thrown to see you were there and not Lina. My mind was all a bit confused after what we'd just been through and well, I was scared to tell you knowing how you felt about me. I never meant to hurt you and I knew what if I told you, then you would be hurt. I just didn't think that you would see what you saw before.”
She just nodded slowly and I felt her pulling away from me and I guessed it was time for me to leave her alone to think about things. She sat down on the bed and I stood up slowly, looking at her to make sure she was ok.
“I'll see you in the morning, Gourry-sam...san.”
I nodded and quietly left the room and just hoped that she would be ok with everything. I then returned to the room next door and entered quietly, thinking that Lina would be asleep now. I closed it carefully and locked it as quietly as possible but that was ruined when I heard her voice.
“How is she?” I turned to her and saw her sat up in the bed with the covers pulled over her.
“I thought I told you to get to sleep.” She just glared at me when I said that and shook my head a little and decided answering her question was probably the best thing to do.
“I think I made her realise why I picked you over her. She couldn't understand why I made that decision and well, I guess with the way we were, she never thought we were a couple. I think I managed to calm her down though and I spoke honestly with her about my feelings. I guess we won't really know until the morning.”
As I spoke I was getting changed into my night clothes and then joined Lina in the bed as she shuffled over slightly to accompany me. I lay down on the bed facing away from her but soon found an arm snaking around my waist and taking a hold of me.
“So why did you pick me and not her.” I heard her ask and I blinked a little, wondering why she would be concerned about that. I reached down and grasped her hand lightly as she kept an arm around me.
“I picked you because you care for me, and know me for everything that I am, all my flaws. Sylphiel seems to hold me up as something I'm not. The whole reputation of the Swordsman of Light is something I don't deserve considering I stole it. Also despite Sylphiel being caring, I guess it's just not what I look for in a woman.”
I then shuffled myself so that I was now facing Lina and decided I had a little question of my own. I wrapped my arms around her and reaching down grabbing her rear watching her squeak and jump in reaction, making me giggle a little.
“So why did you decide to pick a jellyfish, rather than some handsome prince riding on a white horse?”
Kurage

19.5
I knew he had to do it. I knew he had to go talk to her. But that doesn't stop me from being paranoid, does it? I mean, yes, I knew he loved me, but he also had some past with Sylphiel I didn't know about. If they were lovers, I think it would be hard on him to talk to her about something like this.
If they were lovers? Had they been lovers? Sylphiel sure acts like it. And would that bother me? I wasn't sure. I mean, I trusted Gourry with my life. Whether or not he had messed around in the past wouldn't change that now. Still, it would be a little weird, since I was so...er...inexperienced. At least he knew how to be a gentleman when it came to me and being with me.
I was mulling this all over in my head when Gourry came back. We talked a little, and he felt so far away that I couldn't take it, and I had to be close to him. I couldn't bear to be apart from him at this time.
“Picked you over her...” those words made me think. I wondered why the hell he would pick someone like me to begin with, over someone like Sylphiel. I mean, she was smart, intelligent, brave...so why me?
So I asked him, and he answered me, and I'm pretty sure I was satisfied with that answer. Although his hands on my ass were a little too much emphasis on the whole thing, if you ask me.
When he asked me this time, I made a face, half from his question, and half from his distracting hands on my butt. “Because there is no such thing as princes on white horses, Gourry, no matter how hard I look.”
I squirmed away from his hands, not out of displeasure, but out of paranoia. I was, after all, lying down, and most accidents occur lying down with...well, you know. They happen. And I didn't WANT that to happen all over his hands.
“Besides,” I went on, trying to ignore his pout that was brought on by my movements. “You have the chivalry thing down to a tee. Who needs a prince with a knight around? Although...” I trailed off, grinning.
“Although?” he echoed, suddenly fearful.
“Although it would be nice to have all of that money, and jewels, and—“
“Linaaa...” Gourry moaned, burying his face into my neck. I liked that, but I didn't call attention to it. I wasn't done teasing him yet.
“Oh, I don't know, Gourry,” I went on, toying with a few strands of his hair. “Maybe I SHOULD just leave you and search for foreign princes here. I'm sure I could get them to ride a white horse if I wanted to—“
“Liiiiinaaa...” He groaned. Then he paused, looking up from my neck. He looked really worried all of a sudden. “You wouldn't actually do that, would you?”
I made a none-committal noise, grinning from ear-to-ear. “Lina!" he cried indignantly. I laughed, so hard that tears came to my eyes, and I think he got it just then that I was faking it.
“You really had me worried,” Gourry sulked when I stopped laughing. He pulled away and turned his back to me. I snorted, prodding his back with my finger, and he growled at me.
I knew better than to be intimidated, but a somber thought suddenly occurred to me, and I had to ask it, before anything else went on. If I didn't, I would go crazy.
“Gourry,” I began, pulling myself up behind him and pressing my body against his back. I wanted to be as close as I could. I buried my back into the back of his shoulder, sighing deeply and closing my eyes. I loved his scent. It was so nice.
I think I spaced out from it because I didn't even realize I left a long silence behind me until I heard Gourry murmur, “Lina, did you want to ask me something or were you just being weird?”
I opened my eyes and got back on track. “Yes, I wanted to ask you something,” I admitted, ignoring his other comment. I was a little nervous even bringing this up. I wasn't sure I even wanted to ask at all.
“Gourry, are we okay? I mean...” I mumbled, getting shy and feeling stupid all of a sudden. “Are you okay? Because you just sort of blew all your chances with Sylphiel. Is that what you really want? Because...” I buried my face into his hair, so that my words were muffled. “Cuz I don't share,” I finally said, feeling selfish but much better at getting it all out.
I fought the urge to pull away, because although I knew I had the right to demand what I was demanding, I still felt a little pang of guilt, thinking about Sylphiel in the next room, sad and heartbroken.
But if Gourry said he loved me, and he meant it, then I had a right to demand that he would stay at my side and only at my side, right? I don't share. Ever. With anything. He knew that above all people. So why was it so hard to ask of him that I don't have to share him?
Dramata

19.6
I didn't really appreciate the teasing she made about going off to find some rich guy who could ride on a horse. I kind of thought she was serious for a moment and it kind of hurt me to think she would say that, and then to just laugh it off as a joke. Well I let her know my feelings about that by turning back away from her. She then tried to make it up a little and I felt her body press into my back which I quite liked. Feeling her body close to mine kind of softened me up and I suddenly didn't feel so annoyed about her teasing anymore.
I heard her call my name and I figured she wanted to ask me something, but nothing else came and instead I could feel her closer to me and sighing a little.
“Lina, did you want to ask me something or were you just being weird?” I murmured a little, my eyes closed but not falling asleep. That seemed to break her out of it a little and she carried on. I listened to her carefully, wanting to take in every word that she said because I felt like it was important. As she went on it sounded like she was uncertain about me wanting to be with her. She brought up Sylphiel and the fact I blew my chance with her, which surprised me a little. I then felt her burying her head in my hair and mumble something about not sharing.
I shifted my position again, turning over so that I was facing her once more and immediately she tilted her head downwards not wanting to look at me. I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her right up against me and then I gently tilted her head back up to look at me. I stared right into those ruby red eyes because I wanted to bare everything I had inside to her, my hand reaching up and touching her cheek ever so gently.
“Lina, I never blew my chance with Sylphiel because there never was a chance to begin with. At least there wasn't in my eyes, because I could never really imagine myself being with her. I promise to you Lina, that I am always going to protect you and I will always care for you. I don't want you to share me with anyone else Lina.”
I grabbed onto her hand and made her clutch my hand in return tightly.
“I don't want you to ever let go of me, I want you to hold onto me tight and never let me wander from your sight, because I'm holding onto you just as tightly. I must be a selfish person because I don't want to share you with anyone else either. I want you all to myself and I want to be the only want to care for you, to protect you and to love you.”
I didn't know what else to say to convince her about the way I felt, about her, about Sylphiel, and about everything. I just knew that when I was with her like this, then all of my worries and fears disappeared. All that had happened earlier in the day, the fight with those bandits and being hurt, didn't matter anymore. The worry of what might happen in the future didn't matter either. Xellos and Zelas, and this threat that Veryna had warned us about had no place in my mind when I was with Lina.
I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her hand softly, the whole time I stared at her. I then brought her hand to my cheek and nuzzled it gently, liking the soft touch of her fingertips against my skin. I then began to feel that familiar stirring from earlier that made me lie on top of Lina and want to make her feel incredible. I leaned in and kissed her softly, enjoying the feel of her lips pressed against mine. I stayed like that for some time, just enjoying that feeling.
I then felt the yearning for more and I think she felt it too because her lips parted, inviting my tongue inside to meet with hers. I pressed closer to her, feeling the need to be as close as possible, wanting to feel every part of her against every part of me. We kissed each other deeply and sensually whilst caressing each other gently over the face and neck.
I finally pulled away reluctantly and breathed deeply, looking at her with hungry desire. I had felt things like this before but never to such intensity. I had the urge to make her feel wonderful, to send every fibre of her on fire like I wanted to be. I leaned down and began kissing her neck, doing the same things I could tell she liked. My hands immediately found her breasts, no longer feeling so shy about doing so with her, especially knowing the way she would react to me rubbing them.
I did so and enjoyed hearing her breathing shallow and quicken so suddenly, knowing I had the effect on her I wanted. I began to enjoy this little power I had over her, knowing how powerful she can truly be but being able to make her give in to my careful gently caressing. I gently bit into the skin of her neck as I continued to rub over her chest; honestly not sure of what to do next but happy enough to keep doing what I was doing to her, seeing what effect it had on her.
Kurage

19.7
He was close, but it wasn't embarrassingly close. It was more of a comfort, intimate but not sexual close. It was very comforting and very relaxing, and although instinct told me to stiffen up, I instead went with it, and felt better doing so.
When he said those things to me, I wanted to giggle and cry in relief. Strange, isn't it? How such different emotions can exist all at once, battling and fighting for dominance. I never really found out which one would have won, because Gourry was kissing me and all I thought about was kissing him back, and savouring these feelings that were going through me whenever I was with him.
He touched me, his hands feeling for my breasts, cupping them and brushing his fingers over my nipples, and that made me purr and moan all at once. I scrabbled closer to him, trying to get as close as I could, and when I pressed my hips up, I heard him inhale sharply and I felt the reason why. It wasn't so embarrassing anymore, really. I mean, once I got used to it, it was a little scary, but in all honestly, it was sort of fascinating.
He kissed my neck, and I titled my head back, shutting my eyes tight. There is nothing like a man's lips and tongue on your neck, I tell ya. It's light shivering pleasure and incontrollable lust all shaped into one simple gesture. I guess it's easy to say that it's one of my erogenous zones, eh?
I couldn't take it anymore. I was hot all over, and his gestures and touches were making me feel anxious and needy. I tugged on the back of his shirt desperately, growling a little in frustration. I had no idea how to undress a man! But I wanted Gourry to take his shirt off. I was curious, and aroused, and I wanted to see what he looked like.
He froze, actually in mid-lick on my neck. I instantly felt as if I had overstepped my bounds and I jerked my hands away quickly as if his shirt was too hot to touch. Slowly, he pulled away from my neck, and I wanted to bury myself into the floor. I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, but when I opened them, I opened them to a very interesting sight indeed.
Gourry...was STRIPPING.
Okay, okay, not exactly. It wasn't like he was dancing around flinging clothes off (although that image is certainly amusing). But he was sitting up and he was taking off his shirt, and to someone like me, it was as close to watching a strip show as I have ever been. I lay there, my hands fisted up under my chin, and...watched, grinning.
Now, I have said this many times: Gourry is a major hottie. As in, he is very attractive. As in muscles and leanness and all of that nice stuff. Of course, my previous knowledge of this was all theoretical, based on occasional peeks and glances, but now I was getting a true glance at what a fine specimen of man he is.
He pulled his shirt over his head and then noticed I was staring at him, and he blushed. Bright red. And I snorted, because not only was it funny, but adorable. “Lina, stop staring at me,” he pleaded.
But I couldn't. I sat up and got a closer look. His skin was so fair, but not sickly so. More of a suntanned, peachy colour. I suddenly went on impulse and reached forward with one hand, touching his bare shoulder lightly. His skin was so smooth, and so soft, and I trailed my fingertips over his skin, enjoying the feel of it.
He seemed to like it too, because he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. I jumped forward and buried my face into his bare chest, shutting my eyes, taking in the feel and the scent of his bare skin as much as I could. He inhaled sharply again and put his arms around my tightly, and because of that, I started feeling that feeling again.
I slid closer to him and put my arms around his waist, placing my hands firmly on his back. I slide my lips up from his chest to his neck, and this time I nibbled HIS neck, and licked his skin there. The reaction was just as I had hoped. He grabbed onto me. Hard. And pulled me close to him, clinging onto me. I fought down the urge to giggle. This was no giggling matter, anyways. I pulled away and sat up, looking up at him, and he opened his eyes slowly and looked back down at me, his eyes a little unfocussed.
I smiled at him. “Good or bad?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “And do you want more?”
Dramata

19.8
I don't know why but every time she pushed those hips of hers up against mine I felt my knees go weak and I was just glad that I wasn't standing up at the time because I knew I would have fallen over. I blushed a little because I could tell when she did that, she could really feel that part of me, and so I felt a little embarrassed by it.
It seemed to set her off though because I could feel her tugging away at the back of my shirt like she was trying to pull it off. To be honest it was kind of putting me off and so I just decided to make it easy for her and do it myself. I pulled away from her and sat up on the bed and then reached down to pull the shirt off over my head. I dropped the shirt beside the bed and pushed my braided hair back over my shoulder only to catch Lina staring at me.
Now I was suddenly very shy about being topless infront of her and I quickly blushed again, almost trying to cover myself up with my hands and I pleaded with her to stop staring at me. She didn't though, and just moved closer, staring at me still and I was quickly paranoid that there was something wrong with me. Like I wasn't normal, but she just sat up and reached a hand out to me. I stared at her hand moving closer and closer until her fingertips gently brushed over my skin.
That soft touch on my skin felt so nice, I couldn't help myself and I closed my eyes letting out a small sigh. Suddenly I felt her body on top of mine and she buried herself against me. Of course her doing that caused her to brush right over my lower regions and I inhaled sharply, not in pain but in pleasure. Immediately I wrapped my arms around her and held her tighter to me because I didn't want her to move away.
Now she started attacking me with her lips and tongue, over my chest and then up to my neck and then she began nibbling like I had done with her. Oh heaven's above, now I know why she reacts the way she does when I do it to her. It felt so good and so I clung onto her even more, wanting to feel her do that to me more and more.
However all too soon she pulled away from me and I opened my eyes immediately trying to find out what was wrong, but I guess it was her time to start teasing me. She then asked me if it was good or bad and immediately followed that with if I wanted more. I wondered if I really need to answer that but I didn't want to risk it by not so I did.
“Good, very good. Of course I want more, but I think something is a little unfair at the moment.”
Then without another moment's word I grabbed the bottom of her top and began pulling it up. I could see her eyes widen but then they quickly disappeared behind the shirt as I continued to pull it up. I forced her arms into the air and the top came off and I drop it to the ground along with my shirt. Now it was my turn to stare at her but she tried to stop my view by covering up with her arms.
I grabbed her wrists not allowing her to cover herself up; I wanted to take this all in. She was beautiful to me, and I loved her milky white skin which seemed to glow slightly in the moonlight. Some of her hair had dropped over her shoulder. I let go of her wrists and reached out to brush the hair over her shoulder and left my hand there. I touched her softly with my fingertips just as she had with me.
Carefully I traced my fingertips down her skin gently and found it moving straight towards her breasts. Her nipples seem to catch my attention and do they were the first thing I touched. Carefully I brushed my fingers over them and I looked up to see her give the reaction I wanted. I did it again and she reacted again in the same way.
I could have done that all night but I wanted to find out what else made her react that way. I pressed my palms against her breasts and carefully squeezed my hand over them, glancing up to her face to see if she was enjoying it or not. The reaction seemed good, but not as powerful as before. So this time I moved a hand down her side and leaned in, quickly wrapping my lips around her nipple and licking over them quickly. I heard her gasp sharply and heard a little moan and I knew she really liked it.
I kept doing it, licking over her and then changing to her other breast doing the same; meanwhile I kept rubbing over her unoccupied nipple with my fingers. I then became a little adventurous and began nipping at her slightly, and pinching her slightly with my other hand. The whole time I could hear her breathing quicken gradually, with her eyes shut tight and gripping onto my tightly. Whether she meant to or not, she occasionally squirmed on my lap which in turn was driving me insane. The few times she really rubbed up against me, I had to stop what I was doing to compose myself.
I then sat up to face her and I heard the slight whimpers from her which told me she really enjoyed it and wanted it more but I made them stop when I attacked her with another kiss. This one was not gentle though. It felt primal and lustful. It was like I wanted to devour her. I needed her so much right now, and I was so aroused by the situation. I had never felt like this before and I knew that I want to feel like this a lot more.
All I hoped was that she was feeling the same way as me because I felt like I was half way to heaven now.
Kurage

19.9
I wanted to hide.
You have to understand something here, and please hear me clearly; Gourry has said for years how underdeveloped I am. I feared that once he saw the real deal, he would still think that way and find me...inadequate, I guess is the right word. So I tried to get away and I tried to hide, feeling my face go hot at the suddenness of it all.
However, when he touched me, lightly, gently, my fears seemed to evaporate. I swallowed a little, trying to dislodge that previous lump of fear, when he trailed his fingers over me slowly. I was sure he could feel how fast my heart was racing, from nervousness and from worry, but also from the feelings I received from his touch.
When his bare fingers touched my nipple, I squirmed a little and tried not to gasp. His touch sent tingles up and down my spine, sort of like a shiver, but much, much better.
Don't get me wrong. When he cupped my breasts, sure, it felt good, but damn, not as good as when he touched my bare nipples. I think he got it, because the next thing I knew I was staring at his hair and I felt something warm and wet graze the sensitive skin and I couldn't hold it in anymore. So yes, I made noise. You would have too, okay?
It was like my body was completely detached from my mind and was acting in accordance to its own perverted and lusty agenda. I have no idea where he learned how to do things like that, but man, I tell ya, I wasn't complaining.
I sure as hell knew how he felt. When he kissed me like that, I kissed him back with just as much if not more fervor than I thought I was even capable of coming up with. I pushed close against him, sliding my arms around him, kissing back and hearing a deep purr erupt from my throat. This was good, these feelings, these gestures, this was so...
I felt Gourry's hands on my butt again and I froze.
Dammit!
I pulled away, jerking out of his handhold, burying my face into his shoulder and groaning loudly, the crap-I-can't-BELIEVE-this kind of groan.
Gourry stiffened, frowning, and he pulled me away, looking confused. “What is it?” he asked, looking worried.
I lay back on the bed in a slump and cried, “We can't go any further!”
He sat up a little and looked confused. “Why not?”
I buried my face into the pillow, lying on my front. “Because, you idiot, I'm on my period, remember?” I snapped, my voice muffled from the pillow.
I soon felt his fingers trailing over my back, and some of the tense muscles there relaxed. “What has that got to do with anything? You can't use magic, right? So what?”
I couldn't believe my ears. “Gourry, do you have any idea what that means, exactly?”
“Well,” I heard him say, “I know you can't use magic, and it makes you really easy to annoy. And when you get like that, I get nervous and tend to try and avoid you and stuff. Isn't that all it is?”
I slowly lifted my head from the pillow, glancing up at him in disbelief. He blinked at me slowly, in that bemused way he always blinks when he just doesn't get it. “You think that's all it is? That it's just a magic-losing time when I get cranky?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his hand still on my back.
“Gourry, it is NOT just that...” I groaned AGAIN.
How could I possibly explain it to him? He just sat there, looking down at me, and not to mention that neither of us were wearing anything from the waist up, and NOW I was supposed to explain it all to him?
I lost it.
“Gourry!” I cried, sitting up and looking up at him. “You know all of the best spots to touch on my body, but you don't even know anything about THAT!”
I realized at once that sitting up was a bad idea because his eyes were right back on my breasts. And he had this lusty sort of grin on his face that made me feel both annoyed and warm all at once. I crossed my arms over my chest and fought the urge to deck him.
Instead, I got really embarrassed all of a sudden. Gah, how can I explain this? It was like, I wanted to explore the physical stuff with Gourry, but because of me we had to hold things up. There was no way we could continue in my condition. Not only was I sore, but it be...well...MESSY!
“Merph,” I said smartly. I flopped back down on the bed and turned away from him, feeling my face go red again. I curled up into a ball and wished I could disappear. There was no way I could explain it to him. It was too embarrassing, and besides, it would gross him out.
There was a pause, but soon, I felt a hand on my bare back again, and before I could look up, Gourry was leaning over me, looking at me worriedly. I blinked up at him, and he blinked back.
Why was he just staring at me like that? I wondered, starting to feel awkward. What the hell did he want to SAY? He should just SAY it!
"What," I mumbled, hiding my face into the pillow again. I could still feel his gaze on me. "Gourry, WHAT!"
Dramata

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