Chapter Selection

He's watching me with that look again. I try to ignore it; he'll just smile as though nothing was wrong, even though I know that something is.

Why won't he tell me? He keeps denying that there's a problem, at least, when he talks to me at all, which hasn't been much over the last few days. I don't know what to do; relationships are so complicated.

Things were so much simpler when I hated him.

"Zelgadiss-san?"

He vanishes. He's been doing that a lot lately too.

"Zelgadiss-san?"

Dammit, what the hell is his problem anyway?

"Zelgadiss-san!?"

What? "Oh, Amelia, what is it?"

"You haven't been paying attention to a single word I've said have you?"

"No, I'm afraid not. I'm not very focused at the moment." She doesn't look impressed, and now she's sulking. Oh well, I can't do anything about it so why bother trying?

Lina and Gourry are fighting over their food again; they're making so much noise. I can't take this tonight, I need to think.

They all look at me as I stand up and grab my stuff.

"Hey Zel, where are you going?" Lina asks, of course. She never lets me leave without a question.

"Just for a walk," I reply as nonchalantly as possible, "I need to be alone for a while, I'll meet up with you guys tomorrow." They look at me with worried expressions, but I walk away. I can't explain to them what's wrong with me, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

The forest is dark and quiet tonight, soothing, it's nice. Such a backdrop is conductive to thought.

What is wrong with Xellos?

He can't still be upset about the other day, can he? I explained to him that it was all right. I understand that he's a mazoku, I know what that means.

But what he did to those bandits...

I couldn't help being horrified, but that doesn't change anything, I told him that. I don't think he believes me though. Dammit, I know what I'm getting into, why won't he just accept that?

A noise behind me.

I start to spin around, I'm too late, something hits the back of my head, hard.

Look, stars.

Now there's nothing.

I finally wake up, I'm staring into the night sky, real stars this time. Unless this is a different night, I haven't been unconscious for long.

I'm cold.

Oh, I'm naked, that's why.

I try to move, only to discover that my hands are tied together above my head and my feet are tied loosely, spread apart.

A bit ominous that.

Someone's coming, I can't see who, there's no light. A touch on the inside of my leg, hard and gentle at the same time.

The moon comes out, I can see the figure above me now.

"Xellos, what are you doing?"

He doesn't answer. He has that look in his eyes, the one that usually frightens me. Right now, though, it's strangely... thrilling.

He's on top of me suddenly, his mouth crushing mine, the kiss hard enough that it might bruise even my skin. His mouth moves down to my shoulder.

"Ow!" Shit, his teeth are sharp!

He chuckles darkly, what is he--?

I get it, I think. Fine, I'll play along. Obviously I need to make my point. He feels he does too, I guess.

I can't tell if I'm scared or excited, both I suppose.

I wonder what exactly he's going to do to me.

Okay, I'm definitely excited.

His hands are moving over my body, still pressing hard, his mouth is at my neck. I'm actually getting used to being bitten. Hands back up to my shoulders now, he sits up, then draws them sharply down my chest, his nails scratching along my stony skin.

That might actually leave a mark, I forgot how strong he is, the trails sting in the cold air. He's between my legs now, I watch silently, gasp as he begins to nibble on my inner thigh. He's moving upwards, I can see where this is going.

Oh dear, he's certainly making good use of those sharp teeth of his, shit. But his mouth is warm, regardless of the pain, and his tongue... Ah, I don't want him to stop.

But he does, far too soon. Damn you bastard, you're going to leave me on the edge like this aren't you?

He's chuckling again, and... untying my legs? Why is he doing that?

He grabs my legs, then flips me over on to my stomach, mazoku strength again. I wince; given my state of arousal, this is not exactly a very comfortable position.

He's behind me now. I'm not used to being on this side, it's going to hurt more than anything else he's done to me yet. That I am worried about.

His arm lifting me up, he's sliding my cloak under me as support. The fabric scrapes painfully against my erection as I try to adjust to the new angle of my body. Not that I can move all that much. My hands are still tied and he's right on top of me, pressing down. I'm not cold anymore, even if I am slightly scared now; I can feel the heat of his skin over every part of me.

One of his hands scratches down my cheek and then forces my mouth open. He sticks three of his fingers in.

"Suck," he hisses in my ear. I obey, but can't resist a little act of rebellion; I bite his fingers. He pushes them farther down my throat, I gag, and he takes them out. His hand slides down my back, over my buttocks. Within seconds, one of his wet fingers is forced inside me, it feels, interesting, but it doesn't hurt. Even when the second finger joins it, I'm all right, it feels good. It's the third that earns a cry from me as he begins to move them, in and out, apart, stretching me, teasing me... preparing me?

His fingers are removed while I mull that last thought over, and then his shaft replaces them and I loose the ability to think about anything but the sensation of him entering me.

It hurts, but strangely, not as much as I expected. It feels good too, having him move inside me, getting deeper all the time; I can see why he likes this.

His movements are rocking me forward, the fabric under me is rubbing against my arousal, I don't think I can take much more of this.

I was right, ah, after being on the edge for so long, this release is intense, I can feel the shudders throughout my entire body, I can't think.

Hmm, I'm tired now, but he's not done yet. He drives into me a few more times and then finds his own release. He collapses on the ground next to me after, panting.

A few moments pass as he recovers, then I can feel my hands and feet being freed. He gathers me against him, holding tight.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I just..."

I try to tell him that it's okay, that I understand, that is was actually kind of fun, but all that comes out is an incoherent mumbling. Instead, I snuggle closer to him, hoping that it will carry the message my words miss. I fall asleep with his arms holding me tightly.

I wake up alone, it worries me. That hasn't happened since our first time in the cave, he always stays now. I sit up stiffly, pull off the blanket that covers me and look around, but he's not here.

It's all right, he probably just went back.

I find all my belongings. My cloak is ruined, I'll have to get a new one. He'll laugh about that, I imagine.

It doesn't take me long to find the others. They're still concerned about me. I hide how sore I am so that they won't worry even more.

And so they won't ask questions.

Xellos isn't with them.

That worries me.

Where did he go? Why did he leave?

I'm starting to panic.

Calm down, it's okay. He'll be back soon.

He'll be back soon.

He'll be back.

He'll be...